“Most of what I am doing is based on other people’s suggestions,” complained Lyra. “MistyTrail suggested the tour for Lord Marak. Using your office is being pushed by MeadowTune. The solutions so far are other people’s ideas.”
“Certainly,” agreed RavenWing. “What do you think a leader should do? Just because you lead does not mean that you possess all of the answers, although when Kaltara picks a leader that is possible I guess. It certainly was not the case for me. There are many talented people willing to offer suggestions to you. Listen to them. Your job is to pick the solution you think is best. That does not mean that it has to be one that you thought of originally. In fact, you do not care who thinks of the solution as long as you get to hear it and chose it.”
RavenWing struggled to sit up and Lyra jumped off the bed and helped him get situated. “You are doing the right things,” assured RavenWing. “The answers to these problems will not come easily. I would be remiss if I did not attend such a meeting as you have suggested. My personal discomfort means little in the face of the weighty decisions you face, but do not let them bring despair into your heart. Take them one at a time and seek whatever solution appears to tackle the problem appropriately.”
“I will try I guess,” responded Lyra with less than full confidence.
“You will not try,” corrected RavenWing. “You will do. Your first priority is to rid yourself of this destructive self-doubt. You do not have the strength to continue carrying it and still fulfil your obligations. If you are afraid of making a mistake, rest assured that you will make many, but not to make a decision is the worst mistake of all. The Sakovan people count on you to make decisions and they will follow you no matter what path you choose. Just do not let them wander aimlessly.”
Lyra started to leave and RavenWing gently grabbed her arm. “Lyra,” he smiled, “we are all so happy that Kaltara has sent you to lead us. He will not abandon you. I suggest that you spend time in the chapel talking with Him. You do not value how special a person you are as the rest of us do. I spent my life learning how to make the very decisions that you now face and your actions so far are just what I would have done. Does that not suggest to you that He is guiding you?”
Lyra’s brow creased with puzzlement as she dwelt on RavenWing’s words. After a brief moment she pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. “As always,” she smiled, “your words inspire me. I will visit the chapel and try to purge my doubts, but first I must get my office in shape for Lord Marak’s meeting. Thank you RavenWing.”
He smiled as he let go of her arm and Lyra walked softly out the door and gathered Syman and Antello and led them to her office. HawkShadow was waiting for her when she got there. She directed Syman and Antello as to what she wanted changed and then stood with HawkShadow by the door.
“I see you survived the mission with MistyTrail at the helm,” chuckled Lyra.
“She did very good,” reported HawkShadow. “She must have had a good teacher,” he grinned.
“I heard that she did,” agreed Lyra. “Tell me about this Khadoran Lord.”
“He is an interesting person,” HawkShadow began. “He is young, not much older than you.” He grimaced as he realized what he had said and Lyra chuckled at his embarrassment.
“I have no control over my age,” laughed Lyra, “and I am sure he does not either. Why is he interesting?”
“He was not born into ruling,” HawkShadow reported. “He is the son of a slave and worked his way up in the ranks of the army. He is a highly skilled warrior and extremely observant. He misses nothing. He is the only person I have met who understands why I rove my watch when I take it. I did not have to explain it to him, in fact I would not have, had he not commented on it to me. I believe he is a kindred spirit.”
“Oh,” Lyra commented surprisingly. “Why do you think that?”
“He is loved by his followers,” HawkShadow continued. “He accepts the indigenous Chula as equals and he frees slaves as soon as he gets them. He bucks the tide of Khadoran culture because he thinks it is wrong and immoral. With Lord Marak, there is right and wrong and wrong is unacceptable.”
“That only means that he wants to have his own way with things,” argued Lyra. “I would think that it is better to try and understand all sides of a problem rather than make people adhere to what he thinks is right.”
“I did not mean to imply that he is close-minded,” corrected HawkShadow. “He is anything but. He freely accepts other viewpoints on things, but refuses to ignore something that he knows is wrong just because it is convenient or profitable to do so. He has very strong ethics and stands by them no matter what the cost.”
“Ah,” nodded Lyra. “Is he picky about formalities or proper court procedure?”
“No,” HawkShadow stated convincingly. “If you are worried about how to receive him, do not. His men do not even use his title with any regularity and he does not seem to notice. In fact, he introduced himself only as Marak.”
“I take it that you do not deem him to be a security risk,” surmised the Star. “What about the men with him?”
“Gunta and Halman are very much like Marak in many ways,” HawkShadow declared. “They idolize their Lord and would not do anything to offend him or make him look poorly in the eyes of others. I would let the three of them roam freely without hesitation.”
“That is quite an endorsement from you,” remarked Lyra with obvious surprise. “I take it that you like this Lord Marak?”
“I like him and respect him,” acknowledged HawkShadow. “I am sure that you will too although I do not see what good he can do for us.”
“I didn’t agree to the meeting just because he could do something for us,” Lyra stated. “Mostly I agreed because StarWind thought it was a good idea and I value her judgement as I do yours. Thank you for evaluating him.”
HawkShadow nodded and left and Lyra remained by the door for some time dwelling on his words. Finally she shrugged off her thoughts about the Khadoran Lord as being a diversion that she did not have time to ponder. She turned and was pleased with the progress her friends were making on the room and decided to go to the chapel.
The chapel was empty and silent as she walked in. She stood for a long time at the entrance and memories flooded through her mind of the day she came here and was presented as the Star of Sakova. It seemed so long ago and yet she knew it was not. She laughed inwardly as she remembered her own pleas not long ago at the Academy that something exciting and interesting happen because she was so bored. Be careful what you wish for, someone had said to her once, because you just might get it. How true that had turned out to be.
Her footsteps echoed loudly as she walked towards the center platform and stepped into the pentagon inscribed on the floor. She was not practiced in talking to God and felt awkward at first, but her needs were strong and she knelt on the floor and closed her eyes. She wondered at first what she was supposed to say. Was there some procedure she was supposed to follow? She should have asked RavenWing what to do.
She fell back upon her mage training and tied together all of the stray thoughts bouncing around in her mind. Once they were properly tied, she shoved them off into a corner to be retrieved later and concentrated on what RavenWing had said she needed help with, her self-doubt. No longer caring about proper protocol or ceremony, she silently started talking with Kaltara. Within her mind, she called Kaltara and waited for an answer. Nothing happened. She tried again and a third time and sighed when she recognized her failure to reach God.
She started to rise and felt a hand upon her shoulder holding her to the floor. She tried to open her eyes and turn her head to see who was there, but her body refused to cooperate.
“You not only doubt yourself,” a voice boomed through her mind, “but you doubt me as well. You do not need to call me to get my attention, my little Star. I am always with you.”