"Steal it!" Victoria said. "That's ridiculous."
"But I think it's a great idea!" Stephen Thomas said. "I'll vote for it."
No one else spoke. Victoria stood alone in the silence.
Stephen Thomas and Satoshi stood up beside her. J.D. remained in her place, fidgeting. She looked at Victoria, stricken, then plunged to her feet. Victoria took her hand and held it.
They waited.
Scientists, researchers, modem middle-class people, had no experience with taking such risks. Intellectual risks, yes, sometimes; even risks to the reputation, if the subject was large enough, the potential great enough. But this kind of risk . . .
"You're asking us to become lawbreakers," said a senior member of the geology department. "Renegades."
"We did that just by coming into the amphitheater tonight," Satoshi said drily.
"I'm suggesting that we change the schedule," Victoria said. "We've always left the possibility open."
"Don't downplay the seriousness of what you suggest,"
219
220 vonda N. Mdntyre
Thanthavong said sharply. "If we adopt your plan, we'll be going against powerful forces—"
"I thought you agreed with me!"
"I do. But we cannot go into this light-hearted or lightheaded. Everyone who chooses to go should know the consequences. Everyone who isn't sure should leave the expedition."
"Wait a minute," Crimson said. "You're talking as if we've already agreed to this—we haven't! And it sounds like if we do ... we can never come home."
"We'd have to face the consequences when we did come back," Victoria said.
"You're asking us to give up our families, our friends ... "
"Crimson, those risks aren't new. They have nothing to do with the question we have to decide right now."
"Hey," Stephen Thomas said, "if we come back at all,
we'll bring enough with us for the politicians to overlook our
misbehavior."
"Victoria herself said we might not find anything'"
"What do I have to do to live that down?" Victoria said, an edge in her voice. "I wasn't trying to predict the future,
I was trying to explain what science is about and how you conduct it! But I wouldn't be here if I thought the expedition was for nothing, and nor would you."
Alzena spoke. "I cannot agree to risk ecological stability by leaving our support systems prematurely. It could mean disaster."
Infinity spoke again. "I tell you that if this starship is held back from its journey for one year, for three years, it will never recover. It will never leave orbit- It won't have an ecosystem."
They had all seen films of the central plaza of Santa Fe, blasted into rubble, poisoned, destroyed.
No one disputed what Infinity said. But Alzena's warning could not be shrugged off.
"Despite the dangers, I propose that we accelerate the mission's departure to Tau Ceti," Thanthavong said, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the worid. "I propose that we take advantage of Victoria's new transition solution." She rose to her feet.
Victoria waited.
STARFARERS 221
By ones, by twos, by small groups, the members of the deep space expedition rose to signify their agreement.
On the way home, Victoria felt simultaneously elated, frightened, and drained. She walked with Stephen Thomas;
J.D. and Satoshi followed close behind.
"Say, Victoria . . ." J.D. said.
"Victoria, you did it!" Stephen Thomas said at the same time.
"No thanks to you," Victoria said.
"Now you're mad at me. Shit, I couldn't resist the line.
And after all, it's true."
"It is not, and even if you had to say it, you should have realized what lousy timing it was."
"Come on, now," Satoshi said mildly. "It turned out all right."
"Maybe. We still have a long way to go."
Victoria fell silent, knowing that the argument embarrassed Satoshi, especially since J.D. was with them. She wished she could get into a straight-ahead fight with Stephen Thomas. It seemed as if ever since she got home. every other conversation she had with him deteriorated into bickering. She could not understand why. Maybe they just needed to clear the air.
"J.D., what were you going to say a minute ago?"
"I ... this is hard—"
They heard footsteps approaching at a run.
"Hey, wait for me!"
Feral rushed up, panting.
"Somebody said you had the meeting! Why didn't you tell me? What happened? Damn!"
"You should have been there," Stephen Thomas said. "You missed the creation of—"
"Stephen Thomas!" Victoria said sharply.
"What?"
"1 think we have to start being careful what we discuss in front of Feral."
"He was in my office while we were 'conspiring,' for god's sake," Stephen Thomas said. "You didn't object then."
"I didn't think of it then. So shoot me."
"Don't you trust me to tell your story straight?" Feral exclaimed.
222 Vonda N. Mcintyre
"Your interests can't always coincide with ours."
"Maybe we could tell him what happened, off the record,"
J.D. said hesitantly.
"This is bullshit," Stephen Thomas said. "We made the decision in a goddamned public meeting. It's to our advantage if Feral tells our side. Otherwise it'll all come from the chan-cellor—or the GAO. Feral, Victoria's research produced a second transition solution. Faster, shorter, better. And sooner. At the meeting we agreed to move the schedule up."
"And I missed it—? Damn! I obviously haven't cultivated my sources properly."
"It's been a tough day," Satoshi said. "We didn't exclude you on purpose—"
"Never mind the apologies. Tell me everything that happened. How soon—?"
Victoria walked ahead, angry at Stephen Thomas more because he was right then because he was telling Feral everything. J.D. hurried to keep up with her.
"Victoria, I have to go back to earth."
Completely-shocked, Victoria stopped short and faced J.D.
"What?"
"It's Zev. The diver. He's disappeared. This is hard to explain, but I have to help him—"
"Help him! What about us? My god, J.D., this expedition exists to support you! You can't leave it now."
"I have to. I have responsibilities—"
"What about your responsibility to us? You let us put ourselves on the line without telling us what you'd decided, you stood with us for the change—how could you do this?"
"I'm sorry," she said, unable to meet Victoria's gaze, staring at her feet like an embarrassed child. "I tried, but . . . The expedition isn't only for me, that's silly—"
"If you think it's silly, then maybe you'd better leave."
"But—"
They reached the tumoff to J.D.'s house. J.D. stopped;
Victoria continued, into the darkness.
"Um, maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" J.D. said.
Victoria could not trust herself to speak. Satoshi, Stephen Thomas, and Feral, unaware of what J.D. had decided, paused long enough to say good night to her; their voices, the words indistinct, faded behind Victoria.
STARFARERS 22 3
"Victoria, wait!"
She broke into a run.
The courtyard surrounded her with a soft carnation scent.
The lights glowed on in the main room of the house, responding to her approach. At the open French windows. Victoria kicked off her shoes and stepped inside, onto the cool, rustling reed mats. Their texture usually pleased her. Her vision blurred. Stephen Thomas's complicated distillation equipment hunkered on the floor like some misbegotten creature in a cheap special-effects movie.
Opening the door, Stephen Thomas came in and stood beside her, just gazing at her.
Victoria walked across the reed mats, passing the still.
"I wish you'd move that thing," she said. "Good night."
Stephen Thomas watched as she vanished into the back corridor. Satoshi and Feral came in behind him.