As the words leave my mouth, I get a bitter taste in the back of my throat.
“We’re a little more then friends, Cassie,” Chris replies, and he smiles nervously. “You don’t have to be dramatic.”
And that’s when I see it: fear.
There is fear in Chris’s eyes.
“Why are you afraid?” I ask. “If you don’t want to lose me, tell me. If you love me, tell me! Keeping secrets and holding back words that need to be said will never help anyone, Chris. Sometimes you have to say something, or the moment will be over, and it will be too late. ”
He doesn’t move, seemingly frozen in place.
I wonder if I’ve said too much — gone too far.
Chris shakes his head, as if laughing at a private joke, and takes several steps forward, hooking his right arm around my waist, sliding his left hand behind my neck, into my hair. It seems like it has been an eternity since he has held me, and I press against him, forgetting the argument for a moment.
I just want to be.
Chris’s body is warm, and I feel comfort in his embrace. A thrill rushes down my spine. My fingers and toes tingle with the excitement of being so close to him — it has been a long time.
He kisses the side of my neck, a soft, warm touch. I wrap my arms around his neck and he draws me into a sweet, slow kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that eats you up. The kind that you feel in the pit of your stomach, in the bottom of your heart. The best kind of kiss; real, true and perfect.
It’s Chris.
He hooks his fingers through the belt loops of my fatigues and holds me closer. I taste the coffee on his breath and feel the stubble on his jaw, scratching my lips.
“Cassie,” Chris breathes, kissing my cheek. “My marriage — all of that. It’s in the past. I’m not married anymore. My wife… she died. A long time ago.” He takes a great, heaving breath. “It’s just hard for me to talk about.”
First, I feel relief: This woman doesn’t present a threat to our relationship!
And second: I had no idea Chris’s heart had been so broken in the past.
“What happened?” I ask softly.
Chris closes his eyes, kisses me again.
“She…” he begins, and trails off. “It’s a long story, Cassie. Not a pretty one.”
“You can’t protect me anymore. Not even from your past.”
He looks surprised to hear me say that. I press a deep kiss to his mouth, smiling gently. “Don’t hide from me,” I say. “We need each other. We’re a team, remember?” I hold up my hand, reminiscent of a gesture of loyalty we made to each other long ago, in a cabin in the woods… “We’re in this together.”
Chris takes my hand and kisses each knuckle, green eyes never leaving mine.
“If that’s the case—” he says, but he is interrupted.
Devin appears at the front of the church.
“Sorry to break up the love fest,” he says, his voice echoing loudly in the sanctuary. “But we have a situation.”
Out of habit — and a little bit of embarrassment — I step away from Chris. I immediately miss the warmth of his body. I feel cold already.
“What’s up?” Chris says, flushed.
“Omega ships are inbound off the coast,” Devin replies.
I stare at him, still racked with emotion.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I mutter.
Devin shakes his head.
“I wish I was, Commander,” he says. “I really wish I was.”
Chapter Ten
We do not go back to the Naval Postgraduate School. It is still early morning when I get into an armored truck with Chris, Devin trailing behind us in the Jeep. I wonder, briefly, if Devin took me out to the mission, knowing that Chris would follow.
Hmm…
I push the thought away. I feel more at ease sitting beside Chris in the passenger seat. We are silent, but we are comfortable. And our minds are both elsewhere. I would like to know how his wife died — what’s the story there? But I will wait. At least I know that Chris is not currently married, and I no longer have to worry about the possibility of another woman ruining my relationship.
“No Omega ships have been brave enough to get close to Monterey since the EMP, according to Devin,” Chris says, breaking the silence in the car. We are driving back through the mountainous highway. Coming back, I can see the entire city, sprawling in every direction over the tips of the coastal firs and pines.
“Something’s changed in the game,” I reply.
Chris doesn’t say anything. His pensive expression says it for him:
There are rough waters ahead.
I take a deep, steadying breath as we get closer to the city. Devin takes an exit and we find ourselves on a boulevard that is fairly crowded with military vehicles.
“If this town wasn’t secured…” Chris mutters, leaving the sentence hanging.
I know what he is thinking. Being in an area filled with traffic is making him just as nervous as it’s making me. Anything could happen. There could be Omega spies or assassins hiding anywhere…
And then I tell myself to relax. I cannot control everything.
I have to trust that we’re going to be okay.
“Where is Devin taking us?” I ask at last.
“The harbor.”
His reply is simple and short. The emotional moment that we just had in the church seems to have passed, and we’re back to business. Back to the war.
The girl in me sighs. The soldier in me says, It’s about time, woman.
We take the boulevard for what seems like a long time, passing by empty seaside hotels and motels, restaurants and the occasional gas station. Most of this city is abandoned, aside from the military presence roaming the streets, making sure Omega doesn’t try to push through.
“How long are we going to stay in Monterey, Chris?” I ask.
Chris thinks about this.
“As long as they need us here,” he replies. “We’re part of the Alliance now, and we are part of the leadership that represents California. We’ll go where we need to go to stop Omega.”
“It seems like Monterey has got it pretty much together — aside from the assassination attempts,” I say, smiling wryly. “I think we would do more good back in the valley, protecting our agricultural resources and the mountains.”
“Well, it’s possible…” He shakes his head. “Forget it. We’ll go where we need to go. Right now Omega’s trying to get the west coast. I want to stop them. If we can keep the Pacific seaboard out of their hands, we’re going to be doing pretty good. We’ll actually have the upper hand.”
I don’t say what I’m thinking: What if Omega just decides to nuke us all?
What’s stopping them from doing that now?
As if reading my mind, Chris says, “They haven’t wiped us out yet because of two reasons: One, the Pacific Northwest Alliance will retaliate. We do have nuclear warheads on our side, but not as many as the enemy. We want to save those as a last resort, and Omega knows it. They also don’t want their countries wiped out by atom bombs.” He pauses. “The second reason is that they’d rather the rest of the healthy, contributing members of society be enslaved. They’ve already eliminated so much of the population — the elderly, the disabled, the very young — that they’ve got an entire country to build from scratch.”
I shudder.
Omega is evil. Through and through.
Chris touches my knee with his hand, and I wrap my fingers around his, taking comfort in his touch. Something about his presence calms me — always has, probably always will.