Junior felt a chill. This man was dead serious, Junior had heard enough people calling it straight to know it when he heard it. The senator was telling him it was easier to do what Junior wanted than it was to kill him, but that if it went wrong, he could do that. Would do it.
He nodded. “Yeah, I hear you.”
“All right. What is it you want?”
Junior told him.
“That’s it?” He looked stunned. “My God, you didn’t need to do this. You already had my vote.”
“The man I work for doesn’t take chances,” Junior said.
Junior left. After he was back in the truck, with his guns in their holsters, he felt a whole lot better. Hawkins would be a nasty enemy, and Junior was just glad to be done with him.
There were some good things about living in Washington, Toni thought. One of them was that news got old fast. The phone would still ring now and then with calls from the media, but at least the reporters were gone from the sidewalk. They were off making somebody else miserable, which meant that Toni’s life could begin to get back to normal.
She was even thinking about going into the office today. Alex needed her help, no question about that. Between the lawsuit and normal Net Force operations, things were getting a little thick.
Toni had lost a few steps, she knew. She wasn’t quite as sharp as she’d been before she quit to have the baby. Like silat, work was a skill, and if you didn’t hone it, it got a little dull.
That didn’t worry her, though. She knew she could get it back if she really wanted. The question was, did she really want it? And that question did worry her, at least a little.
A year ago, two years ago, it would never have occurred to her that she might not want to go back to work. Before Alex — and especially before Little Alex — her work was her life. She had never imagined that anything—silat, her parents or siblings, or any future family of her own — could ever replace her job as the single biggest focus in her life.
She had been wrong. She had found something that mattered more to her. And it was making her think about things in a way she never had before, to ask herself questions that would have been unthinkable just a short time ago.
It didn’t have to be that way, of course. She had known plenty of women who had done both, raised a family and maintained a career, but it had seemed to Toni that something always suffered, even among the best and brightest. It was a matter of time, not effort or ability. There were only so many hours in a day, only so much you could do, no matter how much you wanted to do more.
And that was the point she kept coming back to. There were other people who could do her job at Net Force. Other people could help with investigations and administration. But who could step up and be a mom to her son?
No one, of course. She knew that. Even Guru couldn’t replace Toni. Not when it came to her family.
The worst of it was, there was just no way to know. Not in time, anyway.
At Net Force, at the FBI, at most jobs, the results of your decisions showed up quickly. Oh, some investigations stretched out over months or years, but for the most part you made a decision and you knew pretty quickly if you were right or wrong.
Being a parent didn’t work that way. You made your decisions on how to raise your child. You figured how and when and why to discipline him and how to encourage him. You determined when to lead by example and when to give a lecture. And after each decision, after each opportunity to teach or scold or praise, you had no idea if you had made the right call. You wouldn’t know — couldn’t know — until someday in the far future when your son was grown and you saw the fruits of your labor.
But even then, really, how would you know? If your child turned out happy and productive and successful and loving and all the other things you hope and pray for him, how would you know how much was due to your parenting and how much was just luck, or genetics, or other influences?
You wouldn’t. You couldn’t. And knowing that made making parental decisions — and especially major parental decisions — that much harder.
She sighed. Why hadn’t anybody told her about such things before? How did she go from having all the answers to her life, to having things all planned out and comfortable, to feeling as if she were standing on a trail leading into an unknown wasteland, next to a sign that said, “Beware! Here Be Dragons!”
Being Mommy was a lot harder than being a federal agent. Or kicking somebody’s tail in a fight. Much harder.
13
John Howard shook his head. Julio hadn’t been able to make it today. He had said something about having to take his son to somewhere to apply for pre-preschool classes. That meant that John was the only one here with his own son. It was probably just as well, though. After all, there was no point in both of them being embarrassed.
Tyrone brought the K-frame revolver up and squeezed off two shots, double-action. He paused a second, then squeezed off two more double-taps, with only a half-second between the second and third pair.
Howard looked at the computer screen in the shooting bay. The computer displayed an image of the “bad guy” target. Hits showed as bright points of light against a darker shade.
Howard let out a low, soft whistle. Six shots, all neatly paired, all hits. Two in the head, two in the heart, two in the groin. No question about it, the boy had fired quickly, smoothly, and accurately, using a handgun he had only shot one time before.
“That’s good, son.”
Tyrone smiled. “Thanks, Dad. It just feels so, you know, natural.”
Howard shook his head. Unbelievable. “Try the.22.”
Opening the Medusa, Tyrone ejected the empty shells into his palm and put them into the plastic bin. He put the revolver down and picked up the little.22 target pistol, a bull-barreled Browning semiauto. The gun had iron sights and was front-heavy, but it was an accurate enough weapon. The sights were frame-mounted and not on the slide.
Tyrone slid the half-loaded magazine in, chambered a round, and thumbed the safety on. He kept his trigger finger outside the guard, the gun pointed low and down range.
John nodded, giving the boy high marks for safety, too.
“I’m going to change the target to a bull’s-eye,” Howard said. “Take your time, remember what I told you about breathing, and shoot five rounds slow-fire.”
Tyrone nodded.
Howard tapped a control on the computer. The image blinked and shifted into a standard black-and-white concentric-circled twenty-five-meter pistol target.
Tyrone took a couple of deep breaths, raised the pistol one-handed, and extended his arm, duelist-fashion. Formal target shooting discipline allowed only a one-hand hold. The gun would not be as steady as when held in a two-handed combat grip, so he shouldn’t do as well, even with the smaller recoil of the.22 round.
The little pap! of the.22 target load was very quiet under the sound suppressors, even though Howard hadn’t taken his hearing aid out.
Tyrone lowered the weapon, took a couple more breaths, and raised the pistol again.
Pap!
Howard watched his son, not as interested in the score as he was in how Tyrone shot. He paid particular attention to how he stood, his grip, trigger control, his breathing, and his eyes. Behind the shooting glasses, Howard could see that Tyrone kept both eyes open.
Tyrone lowered the gun again, relaxed and breathed, then brought it back up.