“Interesting,” Lorraine said. “You know what it sounds like?”
“What?”
“An abusive relationship. Like with my ex. You start to live to please them. They manipulate you with their moods.”
“That’s a little harsh.”
“Yeah, probably,” Lorraine said, clearly not buying it but not in the mood to argue the point. “So you still haven’t told me why you really came back down here. I mean, before my visit.”
The simple answer: Megan had missed it. She was about to tell Lorraine that, but Lorraine was staring off to her right. Megan followed her gaze. She frowned when she saw where Lorraine was looking.
“Ray’s table,” Megan said.
“Yep.”
The table was empty now, but that had been his table-the corner where Ray used to sit. She had blocked on him. Man oh man, how she had blocked on him. Now, for just a second, she let Ray back in. Over the years, she had turned their relationship into something of a crush, a deep, hard summer romance that could never have survived the light of reality. But now, for a brief moment, she let herself remember the intense way Ray used to look at her, the electricity in his kiss, the late nights holding on to him for dear life, nearly out of breath with passion.
Lorraine was smiling now.
“Subtle,” Megan said to her.
“Yeah.”
“Do you know what happened to him?”
The smile fled. “You really want to know?”
“You opened this door.”
“No, sweetheart, you did. I’m just trying to help you close it.”
She had a point. “So help me. Is he okay?”
Lorraine again made herself busy with the glass cleaning.
“Lorraine?”
“For a while-I mean, after you ran off-he came in here every night. He sat at that table and drank. During the day he’d hang out at your place. This went on for, I don’t know, a couple of months, I guess. Maybe a year. He just waited for you to come back.”
Megan said nothing.
“It got bad. Eventually he stopped coming in. He left Atlantic City. Moved to California, I think. Drank some more. Came back.” She shrugged.
Megan sat there, let it sink in. She had owed him better. She had been young and maybe stupid, but then again what were the alternatives? Lorraine was looking at her now. She wouldn’t ask but Megan could see the question in her eyes: Why didn’t you at least call him? She looked away so her eyes wouldn’t give away the answer: Because I wasn’t sure that he wasn’t a murderer.
Only now, of course, reality had shifted. Stewart Green might not be dead at all. And if Stewart Green wasn’t dead…
Lorraine had an odd look on her face.
“What?” Megan said.
“Nothing.”
“So where is Ray now?” Megan asked.
“He’s around, I guess.”
“You guess? Come on, Lorraine. Tell me what he’s doing. Is he still working as a photographer?”
Lorraine winced. “In a manner of speaking.”
“What? Oh, wait, he’s not into porn, is he?”
“No, honey, porn is way classier than what Ray’s doing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s he doing?”
“Look,” Lorraine said, “who am I to judge? You want to screw up your little life, fine, here.” She headed for the drawer and pulled out a long metal box. Megan almost smiled, remembering. Lorraine’s magic business-card file of contacts.
“You still keep that?” Megan asked.
“Of course. I even keep them in preference order. Let me see… Ah, here it is.” She took out a card, turned it over, and scratched something on the back. Megan took the card. The logo was what looked like a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with a camera in the middle. It read:
Celeb Experience: Paparazzi for Hire.
Oh man.
She turned the card over. Lorraine had written: Weak Signal Bar and Grill
“Is this where Ray hangs out?” Megan asked.
“No, but Fester does.”
“Who?”
“Guy who Ray works for. Fester. Used to be a bouncer back at that old club down the street, you don’t remember him?”
“Should I?”
“Not really. Anyway, I’ve known Fester for years. Got him filed under ‘Chubby Chaser.’ The one benefit of age-I got crossover appeal now. I’m fat enough for the chubby chasers. I’m old enough for the cougar chasers or the MILF lovers, whatever. I’m like the complete package here.”
Megan stared at the card.
“Do you want my advice?” Lorraine asked.
“Go home and change my drapes?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
12
Broome pulled his car into the driveway of a split-level with brick and aluminum siding. He parked in front of the two-car garage below the bedroom window and started up the concrete steps. A tricycle was on its side, blocking the path to the door. This oh-so-ordinary dwelling was where ACPD Detective Erin Anderson, the only woman Broome would ever love, lived with her husband, a CPA named Sean.
Whenever he visited, Broome couldn’t help but think, It could have been me. One would have thought that would lead to a strong yearning on his part. It did and it didn’t. His most immediate and powerful reaction was relief-a there-but-for-the-grace-of-God, whistling-past-the-graveyard sort of escape from his own destiny. But then, well, he looked at Erin’s face and all that fell away.
Years ago, he and Erin had started off as cop partners riding together. They had quickly fallen deeply in love and married. That was the end of their riding together-no married couples in the same squad car-and the beginning of their troubles. The marriage, despite the love, was a disaster. That was how it worked sometimes. Marriage builds bonds in some relationships. It destroys everything in others.
He knocked on the door. Erin’s four-year-old, Shamus, answered it, a melted ice pop lining his mouth red and coloring his teeth. The kid looked exactly like his father, and for some reason that pissed Broome off. “Hey, Uncle Broome.”
Even kids called him Broome.
“Hey, kid. Where’s Mom?”
“I’m in the kitchen,” Erin shouted.
After he and Erin divorced, they petitioned to ride again together as partners. It took a while, but permission was finally granted. Balance was restored-at least, their version of it. But they couldn’t let each other go. Even as they tentatively began to date other people, Broome and Erin continued to sleep together on the side. This went on for a long time. Too long. They would try to make themselves stop, but when you are in close proximity hour after hour, well, as they say, the flesh is weak. They had hooked up several times during her courtship with Sean, even as Sean and Erin grew serious, finally stopping once and for all when the new couple said, “I do.”
But even now, even after all these years, the feelings were still there, that undercurrent. Last year, with two kids in tow and twenty-five years on the job, Erin had taken early retirement. Well, semiretirement-one day a week for managerial purposes. Broome remained a part of her life. He came to her for advice. He came to her for help on a case. He came to her because even though she had clearly moved on and her new marriage made her happy and he had blown his best chance at true happiness, Broome was still in love with her.
The computer’s wallpaper was a family photo of Erin, Sean, the two kids, and the dog in front of the Christmas tree. Broome tried not to roll his eyes.
“How was your meeting with Cassie?” Erin asked.
“Strange.”
“Do tell.”
He did. Erin wore a bright green polo shirt and a pink skirt that showed off her legs. She always had great legs. She looked at him the way she always did, and he tried to pretend that it wasn’t affecting him. Erin was happy now. She was a mother and in love with Sean. Broome had been relegated to the past, someone she still cared about and loved in a way, but nothing that kept her up at night anymore.
Part of him was glad about that. Most of him was heartbroken.