A sense of relief came over me. I wasn’t sure why they had thought this would be a big deal. We kind of did it a lot. “I don’t have a problem with the ritual. Let’s go to Colorado and help some wolves make puppies.”
“Good. Now let’s get some practice in.” Dev reached out to haul me back into his lap.
Daniel cleared his throat. “It’s a public ritual, Z.”
“What?” Now they definitely had my attention.
“Again,” Dev began, gritting his teeth as he glared at Daniel. “That was something to bring up later. We have to ease her into the situation.”
“You expect me to do that with the two of you in public? That’s not going to happen. Do you know how fast that will end up on YouTube? How could you agree to that?” I asked Dev, but then rolled my eyes because I was talking to the wrong boy. “I know why he agreed. He’s a pervert. But you? How can you be willing to do that with a hundred wolves watching?”
“I won’t actually be there,” Daniel clarified. “This is an experience for just the two of you.”
“You see, sweetheart, Daniel is a greedy bastard,” Dev explained, his voice soft and cajoling. “If he’s there, he’ll suck up all the energy and then there won’t be enough left for the wolves. If we were talking about fifty or sixty couples it might be fine, but this is a big gathering. We need as much of the magic to disperse in the crowd as possible. It’s just me and my goddess. That’s you, lover. You’re my goddess.”
“Don’t you ‘goddess’ me. How could you have thought I would be all right with this, Devinshea Conlan Quinn?”
“Now you’re in trouble.” Daniel chuckled under his breath.
I pointed at him. “You stay out of it.”
Dev sat forward and reached for my hand, taking it in both of his. “This is important to me, Zoey. This is far more than just a way to get into the Gathering. I was going to ask you to be my goddess anyway. Please believe that. Daniel and I have discussed it, and he’s agreed that it’s time. Our relationship has settled and we’re all happy.”
“So I get to be a porn star because we’re all happy?” I might have a crazy sex life, but I hadn’t gone that far despite Dev’s multiple attempts to convince me that cameras were fun.
Daniel glanced out the window, obviously leaving this conversation to us.
Dev squeezed my hand, moving closer. “No, you get to be my goddess. I want it to be real, Zoey. There are rituals involved. I gave up my priesthood when I left Faery. I can call myself a high priest all day long, but no one will really recognize me without my ascension and my goddess. When I left the sithein, I never thought I would be able to do this again. This is sacred to me. This is who I am. I am a priest, and this is what I was born to do.”
“Dev, I’m sorry.” I just couldn’t envision myself allowing such a private act to be public. I’d played his “goddess” on several occasions, though he’d never used the term before. Those had been intimate situations where the magic had been just for us. I knew that many fertility rituals were public, but I couldn’t see myself performing one. “I just can’t. I hope you understand. I want to help, but not like that.”
Dev let go of my hand, sat back, and took a deep breath. He looked like a man who just had something important taken from him. He sat back and took a long drink of champagne. When he was done, he smiled at me. “Of course I understand, sweetheart. It won’t be a problem. I’ll figure something else out that will satisfy McKenzie. Now, it’s your birthday. Let’s have some fun.”
A grim expression settled on Daniel’s face, and I knew I’d really done something bad. Dev was talking about how much he was looking forward to this weekend and our plans for the three of us to go to the movies. He chatted on but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Daniel kept looking at me like I’d kicked Dev and needed to apologize. I wished Dev would just get mad and scream at me. I could fight, but I hated this feeling that I’d let him down.
“Devinshea, can we talk about this?” I asked quietly.
He took a negligent drink. “There is nothing to say, sweetheart.”
“There is. You’re obviously upset.”
“I’ll get over it. It makes things a bit more difficult on the political front, but I’ll figure it out. It’s why I get paid the big bucks.” His cavalier attitude was bullshit. He didn’t get paid crap, obviously. He worked because he believed in the cause. “I’m looking forward to your party, sweetheart.” He frowned suddenly. “I’m afraid I have to disappoint you a little bit, lover. I wasn’t able to have your present delivered tonight. You’ll get it in the morning. How would you like a candy-apple-red Porsche?”
If Dev had meant to buy me a Porsche, it would have been sitting in my father’s driveway with a big bow around it. Dev didn’t forget or put things off. In all our time together, Dev had never forgotten a birthday or anniversary or holiday.
“Why can’t you give me my real gift? It has something to do with the ritual, doesn’t it?”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing, Zoey.”
“Then give it to me,” I requested softly.
Dev pulled a small box out of his pocket and sat it on my lap. “It isn’t the real one. I sent a request to the sithein for the real one. They refused me. This is a facsimile, but the jeweler did a good job. You may have it if you want it, of course.”
I opened the box, and my eyes widened at the lovely gold medallion. It was delicate and feminine. There was a raised sun symbol, and the entire medallion was circled with a foreign writing. I suspected it was Gaelic. “What does it say?”
“It says ‘you are my goddess, maker of my magic, keeper of my power.’” Dev read, his voice too steady. “Like I said, it’s not the original.”
Tears burned in my eyes. How much was my modesty worth to me? Dev had given me everything he had, and I was willing to let him down because I didn’t want strangers getting a glimpse of me? Dev had grown up in an entirely different world from Daniel and me. Dev was the one who so often had to adapt to fit into our culture and respect our customs. Perhaps it was time for me to mold myself to his needs. We were a threesome though, and I had to make sure we were all on the same page.
“Daniel, how do you feel about the ritual?”
He took a long breath, releasing it with a sigh. “We’ve been talking about it for months. If this is what Dev needs and you’re okay with it, then so am I. Z, this could be something big for us, but I don’t want to use either one of you like that.”
Dev groaned, a sure sign that this was a well-worn argument. “You’re not using us, Daniel. We’re in this together. I want this. I want it very much. This is a chance to prove myself. If it also gets us the loyalty of the wolf pack, then I don’t see why it’s bad.”
He was right. And, hey, if I was going to be a porn star, at least I’d be a highly paid one. I leaned into him. “I love you both. Yes, I’ll perform the ritual with you, Dev. I’ll be proud to be your goddess.”
Dev smiled, the world around me lighting up. He unclasped the necklace and put it around my neck, his hand touching where the disc lay against my skin. “That looks perfect. I love you so much, Zoey.”
“Now aren’t you happy we got through that?” Daniel said, relaxing as the tension left the space.
Dev winked at me. “I am.”
Daniel pulled me into his lap, cuddling me close. “Good, then it’s my turn.” Daniel pulled out a similar box and handed it to me.
I looked down at it. “Did you shop together? Zack told me you got my present at the comic book store.”
Daniel’s hand tightened around my waist. “No, yesterday was just new comic day. I got this a while back. I was just waiting for the right time to give it to you. I hope you like it. I…would really like for you to wear it. I mean, only if you want to.”