“Shouldn’t you be the one telling me that I need to push myself?”
“Not the way you have been! With the exception of three days, including today, over the last few weeks, you get up at dawn to go surfing, come home only to shower and change, then go to classes. Then you go straight to the shop, and you’re home after your dad and I are already asleep! And throughout all of this, you’ve just . . . lost you. The few times I have seen you, you look dead. You disappear completely on family days; Bree said she hasn’t even seen you in weeks and that Brad, Brandon, and the rest of the guys are really getting worried about you because you don’t talk to them or surf with them anymore . . . ? Chase, what is happening with you?”
I made a mental note to tell Bree to shut the hell up. “Mom, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve just been busy.”
“I call bullshit,” Dad said as he joined the conversation, looking like he was about to leave for work.
“Morning to you, too, Dad.”
“And you can drop the attitude, too. She said we’re worried about you, and we are. You’re an adult, you have your own house; so trust me when I say I have no problem telling you that I love you, but if you don’t tell us what’s going on and start respecting us, you can move right back out and into your house.”
Ishe serious? I just sat there staring at both of them for a few minutes before deciding that he was and sighing heavily. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”
“Okay?” Dad drew out the word. Obviously, he wasn’t getting it.
“No, I mean moving moving. Like, moving away from San Diego.”
Mom gasped. “What?”
“After graduation.”
“Why?” Mom’s eyes were filling with tears, and Dad’s eyebrows were scrunched together.
“It’s just something I need to do.” I shrugged. “Something I want to do.”
“Why would you need to move away?” She started to cry, and I unfolded my arms, reached across, and grabbed her hand.
“Mom, it’s fine. It won’t be forever. I ju—” I broke off quickly and sat back.
“Son.”
I looked back to my dad and sighed “I can’t be around Harper and Brandon. I can’t be around her at all while she’s with him. It’s just too hard. And she’s pretty much a part of this family, and I can’t handle that right now. I’m in love with a girl who will never want me, so for now, I need to go.”
“But how long will be enough for you to be okay with it? What if they stay together? You can’t stay away forever!” Mom was on the verge of hysterics.
“I don’t know.” I looked up to my dad for help, but he was just shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t even know if I will move. It was just a thought. Mom, seriously, please don’t cry.”
“Just a thought?” She wiped under her eyes and let her hands fall to the table. “Chase, you’re already cutting ties with everyone. This isn’t a thought, you’re already beginning to execute this childish plan of yours!” The chair legs scraped across the tile as she scooted away from the table.
“Ma.”
She swatted my hand away when I reached for her and took off through the living room and up the stairs.
“If you want to be with Harper so bad that you can’t stand to be in the same city as her and her boyfriend,” Dad said, “then you need to fight for her. Not run from her.” He grabbed his briefcase off the table and caught my stare. “Whether she’s dating your best friend or not, she’s close with you, and it would hurt her to have you leave regardless.”
“I really doubt that.”
“So you’re going to punish your mother, me, your sister, and Harper by leaving because you won’t man up and fight for what you want? That’s not how we raised you, Chase.” And with that, he walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.
“Kinda pointless to fight for what you want when what you want continues to break your heart,” I whispered to the empty kitchen.
With a heavy sigh, I pushed away from the table and called Bree as I made my way to my truck.
“WELL WHAT DID you expect me to say? Everyone’s worried about you, and you don’t show up to family day anymore. You’re making Mom sad!”
“Nothing. You say nothing, Breanna. I have my own reasons for doing what I’m doing, and I really don’t need you going to Mom and telling her everything you see or don’t see here, and I sure as shit don’t need you telling her what the guys are saying about me.”
Her eyebrows shot up, and she sucked in a deep breath, but before she could throw her attitude back at me, all the air came whooshing out of her body, and she bit down on her bottom lip, which had started to tremble. Damn it.
“Bree,” I said softly, and rested my forearms on the kitchen table she was sitting at so I was eye level and closer to her.
“You’re my big brother, and I’m worried about you.” She took a shaky breath in, and her eyes glassed over when she looked up at me. “I’m afraid you’re getting into bad things with the way you’ve been acting. Your temper is through the roof, and your mood swings are epic lately. And that’s when we see you. Most the time, you’re gone. I’m worried about what you might be doing . . .” she trailed off.
“Hey.” I kissed the top of her head and hugged her hard before going back to resting on my forearms. “I’m not getting into anything bad, I swear. Nothing illegal, nothing Mom and Dad would be pissed about. I’m just having a hard time dealing with stuff, and I seem to be taking it out on everyone.”
“Well, what are you dealing with?”
I shook my head, “Nothin’ you need to worry about. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll try to be around more—come to family days and shit.”
“ ‘And shit.’ Nice.” She snorted and blinked back the rest of her tears. “All right. If you say there’s nothing going on, then there’s nothing going on. And I’ll try to keep my mouth shut about you around Mom and Dad.”
“I’d appreciate it. Love you, brat.”
Her smile got wide. “Love you too, punk.”
Just then, all the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end, and I wished I had gotten out of there sooner, or that Bree would have been at her dorm rather than my house. I straightened from leaning on the table and tried not to react when I heard her voice.
“Uh, good morning.” Harper said softly.
Bree’s smile got even bigger as she leaned over in the chair to look past me. “Morning, doll! How’d you sleep?”
I didn’t want to see her, but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over my shoulder quickly before looking back at Bree.
“Pretty well,” Harper responded. “You?”
“Excellent.” Bree sounded like she was in a daze, and it didn’t take a genius to know why.
“Ugh, seriously Bree? Save it until I’m gone at least.” I wasn’t dumb, I knew my little sister wasn’t a virgin, but I didn’t want to know about it.
Without another glance at my princess, I took off for the master bedroom and slapped my hand against the door a few times before Brad opened it. His eyes narrowed, and he straightened so we were almost eye to eye, and instantly I knew what he was doing, and my body automatically tensed in preparation. Brad and I had met while working out and training at the same gym, McGowan’s, right after freshman year started at San Diego State University. We were always thrown into the ring together to spar since we were almost identical in height and weight, and had been friends ever since. We’d fought a little here and there in what they called “The Underground” in Southern California. Not exactly legal, great pay, and kept quiet so law enforcement wouldn’t find out. We’d also met Brandon through McGowan’s once he moved here, and had all formed what Bree likes to call a bro-mance through fighting and surfing. I knew I could never actually win a fight against Brandon—the asshole was unstoppable in the ring—and, let’s face it, he’s fuckin’ huge. Only two inches taller, but he’s got forty pounds of muscle on me. So I never expected to win a fight against Brandon, but that’s not why I started them. I just wanted an opportunity to punch the guy I’d come to love like a brother since he was with the girl that had quickly become my everything to me. Brad, though . . . I knew that Brad and I came out pretty even when it came to fighting. We’d been thrown in the ring enough times, never knowing who’d win, and at that moment he was ready to beat the shit outta me from the look of him. But I was done fighting.