“Then why the fuck did you want me dead?”
“I had no choice. I was thinking that if you got that helo to the Spanish coast and it was ever found, then all hell would break loose here. They would have all that modern technology. So I did the only thing I could think of. Yes, Karpov pushed for it, but I was the one who gave the order to fire. I’m sorry Chief… Sorry for everything…”
Orlov closed his eyes, hand heavy on his forehead, becoming a fist which he beat slowly on his brow. “Crazy bullshit,” he breathed.
“I’m sorry Chief. I was wrong to do what I did, and I tried to make it up to you. When we learned you were alive, I did everything possible to come after you. I knew we had to find you and get you safely back to the ship. And then I stood on your side of things with Volsky, got you reinstated to your post as Chief of Operations. I knew I was guilty as hell for what I did, and I was trying to fix it. Hell, that’s all I’ve been trying to do here from the first moment this happened to us—trying to fix everything, set it all right again, but we can’t do that any longer. It’s too late now. We’ve ripped the history I knew to shreds, and I’m mostly responsible for that. All I’ve been doing is trying to live it through, like a man riding a wild bull, and half the time I just wind up falling on my ass.”
He was pleased to see Orlov offer a grin as he said that. “Alright Fedorov,” said the Chief. “Don’t worry about it. What was done, was done. I understand what you did, but Karpov… That bastard is something else. Are you telling me he doesn’t remember anything?”
Fedorov hesitated briefly… “Not quite,” he said. “I mean… Yes, Karpov remembers. In fact, he’s the only other man on the ship that does. Everyone else is completely in the dark, except perhaps Zolkin. He’s showing signs of coming around. It’s very strange.”
“No shit! Then Karpov knows everything?”
“In fact,” said Fedorov, “he’s the same man that sailed with us from Severomorsk. Yes, he’s the same man who tried to take the ship, and the man we went after on Kazan. Then we thought he was dead for a time, until I got information that he was in Siberia.”
“Then it’s all true? The airship? That thing I found—that’s what you took from me, that thing I found in Siberia? Everything is true? We found those British troops in the desert?”
“Right, all true. It all happened, and I thought I was the only one who remembered it. I took that thing you found—Troyak called it the Devil’s Teardrop, remember? Well I threw the damn thing right off the ship, and into the deepest part of the Atlantic we could get to at that time. Who knows, it may have had something to do with what happened to Kazan. Then we tried that final shift, but things were very weird on the ship before that. We were running right up on the arrival date for this ship—a paradox. Things were very strange on the ship. Remember Lenkov? Then people started disappearing, and by God, you were one of them, Chief. You had been checking the ship to look for other signs of damage from the shift, you know, dented bulkheads, missing ladders. Remember how my shoes got stuck on the deck of the bridge? I almost suffered Lenkov’s fate. Well, you pulled this out of your pocket and gave it to me.”
Orlov stared at the thing Fedorov held out in the palm of his hand. “My compass… yes… I remember giving it to you. Damn thing was useless….”
“Then what, Chief? Do you remember anything else happening?”
Orlov furrowed his brow, trying to recall, but that veil of unknowing was there, like a heavy fog and the more he strained to see through it, the thicker it became.
“Then I was here… On this ship. But I didn’t know anything—none of this shit. It was as if everything was starting over again, only you were acting all strange. And then, after we put into Severomorsk, I saw how different everything was. You told us we had gone to the past—right into the middle of WWII! Who could believe that? But that’s when the dreams started. Only they weren’t dreams, were they Fedorov. They were memories. I was remembering all this crap, only it started in my sleep. Now I’ve got on that goddamned French Cologne!”
Fedorov smiled. “You mean Déjà vu? Yes, I suppose you do. Don’t worry Chief, you still smell like a pig.”
The big Chief gave him a wide grin. “You’re all right, Fedorov. I don’t know why I was so pissed at you. Karpov was the one who put me up to that again. He said I was supposed to spy on you—see what you were up to. You mean to say that he’s the same Karpov we sailed with in the beginning?”
“Right.” Fedorov didn’t want to get into the doppelganger thing with Orlov now. It was enough that he was slowly getting a grip on himself, and settling down.
“Then Karpov took the ship after all. Is that what happened when you went ashore at Severomorsk? He left the ship, but came back all strange. That bastard got rid of Volsky, didn’t he.”
“Yes, I’m afraid so. But the Admiral got away on a British sub. He was with Admiral Tovey on Invincible… before he died.”
“Right,” said Orlov, suddenly missing the Admiral. “Fedorov… It’s been you and Volsky against Karpov all along, hasn’t it?”
“I suppose so,” said Fedorov sullenly.
“But how is it you remembered things—hell—how can I be remembering all this shit, but no one else does?”
“I don’t know. All I know is that those memories are real. They happened. Frankly, I thought I was going crazy myself, but now that you remember it all, I know I’m still sane. Were together in all this, you and I. Thank god someone else remembers everything.”
“Karpov too,” Orlov said darkly. “What do we do with him?”
“Nothing—at least for now.”
“What? You going to let him ride roughshod over the whole ship and crew like this? What’s he doing here now? He’s fighting his little war, just like he wanted to in the Atlantic. The next thing you know he’ll be firing off a nuke.”
“Not if I can help it. Look Orlov, you mustn’t let Karpov know you remember any of this. Understand? He’d put all his security men on you, or worse. He’d have Grilikov on your ass every minute of the day. No. You have to lay low on this now. I had the same choice to make in the beginning. I laid low, and tried to figure out what to do. I was looking for allies, trying to figure who I could get to support my position. But Karpov found me out, so I decided to play along. He offered me Starpom to cooperate with him. I figured it was better than the brig. What could I do there? At least this way I have some say on what happens. He listens to me, seeks my advice.”
“Right, the two of you have been thick as thieves on the bridge. Look Fedorov. I can keep my mouth shut, but if Karpov figured out you knew things, he’ll be on to me in no time. Hell, you’re one clever little bastard yourself. He saw through your act, so what chance does that give me?”
“I know, I know,” Fedorov held up a hand. “But at least you need to play it that way for now. If he finds out you know everything, I’ll stand with you, Orlov. I’ll do everything I can to protect you.”
Orlov gave him a good long look. “You’re a good man, Fedorov. I always thought that, even when I was busting your balls. Alright, so what happens when Karpov figures this all out?”
“We’ll deal with that later.”
“Yes? Well maybe we should get to the bastard before he learns anything more.”
“I don’t think that would be wise. It was the same problem I faced when I thought I was alone on the ship—the only man who remembered anything. I realized that I might work quietly, behind the scenes, find allies like Zolkin, or Nikolin—men I knew who stood with me before.”