And few reasons to think it will. Insurance companies are unlikely to ever cover such an expensive operation, which would put this particular form of life extension out of reach of anyone but the very rich. Is it a sensible use of medical resources to keep terminally ill and extravagantly wealthy people alive? Shouldn’t we, as a culture, encourage a saner, more accepting attitude toward death? White doesn’t profess to have the last word on the matter. But he’d still like to do it.
Interestingly, White, a devout Catholic, is a member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, some seventy-eight well-known scientific minds (and their bodies) who fly to Vatican City every two years to keep the Pope up to date on scientific matters of special interest to the church: stem cell research, cloning, euthanasia, even life on other planets. In one sense, this is an odd place for White, given that Catholicism preaches that the soul occupies the whole body, not just the brain. The subject came up during one of White’s meetings with the Holy Father. “I said to him, ‘Well, Your Holiness, I seriously have to consider that the human spirit or soul is physically located in the brain.’ The Pope looked very strained and did not answer.” White stops and looks down at his coffee mug, as though perhaps regretting his candor that day.
“The Pope always looks a little strained,” I point out helpfully. “I mean, with his health and all.” I wonder aloud whether the Pope might be a good candidate for total body transplant. “God knows the Vatican’s got the money….” White throws me a look. The look says it might not be a good idea to tell White about my collection of news photographs of the Pope having trouble with his vestments. It says I’m a petit bouchon fécal.
White would very much like to see the church change its definition of death from “the moment the soul leaves the body” to “the moment the soul leaves the brain,” especially given that Catholicism accepts both the concept of brain death and the practice of organ transplantation. But the Holy See, like White’s transplanted monkey heads, has remained pugnacious in its attitude.
No matter how far the science of whole body transplantation advances, White or anyone else who chooses to cut the head off a beating-heart cadaver and screw a different one onto it faces a significant hurdle in the form of donor consent. A single organ removed from a body becomes impersonal, identity-neutral. The humanitarian benefits of its donation outweigh the emotional discomfort surrounding its removal—for most of us, anyway. Body transplants are another story. Will people or their families ever give an entire, intact body away to improve the health of a stranger?
They might. It has happened before. Though these particular curative dead bodies never found their way to the operating room. They were more of an apothecary item: topically applied, distilled into a tincture, swallowed or eaten. Whole human bodies—as well as bits and pieces of them—were for centuries a mainstay in the pharmacopoeias of Europe and Asia. Some people actually volunteered for the job. If elderly men in twelfth-century Arabia were willing to donate themselves to become “human mummy confection” (see recipe, next chapter), then it’s not hard to imagine that a man might volunteer to be someone else’s transplanted body. Okay, it’s maybe a little hard.
10. EAT ME
Medicinal Cannibalism and the Case of the Human Dumplings
In the grand bazaars of twelfth-century Arabia, it was occasionally possible, if you knew where to look and you had a lot of cash and a tote bag you didn’t care about, to procure an item known as mellified man.
The verb “to mellify” comes from the Latin for honey, mel. Mellified man was dead human remains steeped in honey. Its other name was “human mummy confection,” though this is misleading, for, unlike other honey-steeped Middle Eastern confections, this one did not get served for dessert. One administered it topically and, I am sorry to say, orally as medicine.
The preparation represented an extraordinary effort, both on the part of the confectioners and, more notably, on the part of the ingredients:
…In Arabia there are men 70 to 80 years old who are willing to give their bodies to save others. The subject does not eat food, he only bathes and partakes of honey. After a month he only excretes honey (the urine and feces are entirely honey) and death follows. His fellow men place him in a stone coffin full of honey in which he macerates. The date is put upon the coffin giving the year and month. After a hundred years the seals are removed. A confection is formed which is used for the treatment of broken and wounded limbs. A small amount taken internally will immediately cure the complaint.
The above recipe appears in the Chinese Materia Medica, a 1597 compendium of medicinal plants and animals compiled by the great naturalist Li Shih-chen. Li is careful to point out that he does not know for certain whether the mellified man story is true. This is less comforting than it sounds, for it means that when Li Shih-chen does not make a point of questioning the veracity of a Materia Medica entry, he feels certain that it is true. This tells us that the following were almost certainly used as medicine in sixteenth-century China: human dandruff (“best taken from a fat man”), human knee dirt, human ear wax, human perspiration, old drumskins (“ashed and applied to the penis for difficult urination”), “the juice squeezed out of pig’s feces,” and “dirt from the proximal end of a donkey’s tail.”
The medicinal use of mummified—though not usually mellified—humans is well documented in chemistry books of sixteenth-, seventeenth-, and eighteenth-century Europe, but nowhere outside Arabia were the corpses volunteers. The most sought-after mummies were said to be those of caravan members overcome by sandstorms in the Libyan desert. “This sudden suffocation doth concentrate the spirits in all the parts by reason of the fear and sudden surprisal which seizes on the travellers,” wrote Nicolas Le Fèvre, author of A Compleat Body of Chymistry. (Sudden death also lessened the likelihood that the body was diseased.) Others claimed the mummy’s medicinal properties derived from Dead Sea bitumen, a pitchlike substance which the Egyptians were thought, at the time, to have used as an embalming agent.
Needless to say, the real deal out of Libya was scarce. Le Fèvre offered a recipe for home-brewed mummy elixir using the remains of “a young, lusty man” (other writers further specified that the youth be a redhead). The requisite surprisal was to have been supplied by suffocation, hanging, or impalement. A recipe was provided for drying, smoking, and blending (one to three grains of mummy in a mixture of viper’s flesh and spirit of wine) the flesh, but Le Fèvre offered no hint of how or where to procure it, short of suffocating or impaling the young carrot-top oneself.
There was for a time a trade in fake mummies being sold by Jews in Alexandria. They had apparently started out selling authentic mummies raided from crypts, prompting the author C. J. S. Thompson in The Mystery and Art of the Apothecary to observe that “the Jew eventually had his revenge on his ancient oppressors.” When stocks of real mummies wore thin, the traders began concocting fakes. Pierre Pomet, private druggist to King Louis XIV, wrote in the 1737 edition of A Compleat History of Druggs that his colleague Guy de la Fontaine had traveled to Alexandria to “have ocular demonstration of what he had heard so much of” and found, in one man’s shop, all manner of diseased and decayed bodies being doctored with pitch, wrapped in bandages, and dried in ovens. So common was this black market trade that pharmaceutical authorities like Pomet offered tips for prospective mummy shoppers: