She laughs. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, he’s surprisingly okay with that side of things. He wants to do it and we would both rather know who we are picking.” She grins. “He actually feels more comfortable about it if it’s you…and I’ve always wanted you for your genes anyway!” She winks at me.
I smile, I know she would be more relaxed about her abandonment fears if I’m involved, but I haven’t exactly been able to voice it to her. I didn’t want to put Scott’s nose out. “Listen, I couldn’t say this to you in front of Scott. We both know he would never freak out on you, but you also know if he did, I would never let you raise a baby on your own…especially if it’s mine.” I say quietly. This already kinda goes against my previous ‘not wanting any sort of stake in the kid’ statement, but I need her to know it anyway. It would never happen, it’s just an irrational fear.
For a second my own irrational fears creep into my head, the ones that just turned out to be a reality, never say never, hey?
She smiles affectionately. “I know, thanks. I think we can make it work.” She pauses. “But one thing really worries me.”
“What?”
“Liv,” she says quietly.
I look at her in disbelief. “Why the hell would she be a factor in all this?”
Steeling herself, she explains. “You should be together, Danny, having your own family.” She pauses, leaving it hanging in the air. I feel like I'm going to suffocate. Jen just watches me.
“Fuck Jen, why are you doing this to me?” I snap. “I don’t want to hear her name again.”
“But you still love her and you can’t tell me there isn’t a chance she still loves you.”
I shake my head and stare out of the window.
“Danny, a week ago, you were going to give up your whole life here to make a new one with her. That doesn’t just go away.” She tries to take my hand but I pull it away. “Scott and I have talked and we both agree, you need to talk to her, find out why she left.”
“I’m not calling her, Jen. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want me. It’s over.”
“Danny, you don’t know why she left. She may have seen something between you and Brooke and thought you cheated.”
“Nothing happened with Brooke!”
“I know that, but would she?” She reasons. “You said Brooke was already undressed when you came out of the shower. Liv could have seen that.”
“Or she just didn’t love me.” I stand up and walk to the window.
“Danny, be realistic. You know she loves you and it’s too much of a coincidence that she left the night Brooke pulled her little stunt. Now I’ve let you do this your way for over a week, but if neither one of you is going to give in and call the other, then I’m afraid I’ll have to fight dirty.”
I spin around to face her, “What the hell does that mean?”
She stands and puts her hands on her hips. “If you want us to consider your offer, then you have to call her.”
And there it is…the bribery, now she’s pulled every trick from her hat and she looks so pleased with herself.
“Careful,” I warn. “I’m not playing.”
“Neither am I.” She holds firm.
We have a standoff for a moment and then she lays it on the table. “We don’t want to take your first child Danny, it’s not fair. Call her. Sort this thing out. Live happily ever after…Then and only then will we accept your very generous offer, if Liv agrees too. We can wait.”
I shake my head, the gloves are really off. I’m too stunned to speak.
“If she did leave for the reasons you think, then I won’t mention it again. But you have to find out for sure.”
Feeling the anger rising up in me, I grab my keys. “I can’t handle this.” I say as I storm past her and out the door.
I’m fuming as I back my truck out of the parking lot. Who the hell does she think she is? This is emotional blackmail. I expected better of her.
When I get in I slam my keys on the counter and pace back and forth. I really needed to sleep, now Jen has got me so worked up, there is just no way that’s going to happen. It’s not like I didn’t call her, when she was missing I was frantic. She has dozens of messages from me and she didn’t have the decency to put my mind at ease. I had to hear from her family that she had flown home, at least she left them a note! As if I would call her now. She left me. Even as I’m thinking this while pacing around like a caged animal, the idea that she may have left for another reason starts to incubate. I haven’t given it a thought before, I’ve been too angry. I’m still too angry I think, shaking it out of my head.
I sit at my desk and fire up the computer. My fingers drum while they wait for something to do. As soon as I’m in, I start furiously hammering the keys. Work will block this ridiculous chain of thoughts out.
Twenty minutes in, I’ve made so many mistakes and had to retrace my steps too many times. I put my head in my hands. This can’t be happening. Work was the only distraction I had and now, thanks to Jen, Liv has crept into that too.
I drop onto my bed and close my eyes. Not to sleep but just for lack of other inspiration. What if Jen’s crazy notion is right? What if Liv thinks I did something wrong? Surely I would have had a call from someone if they thought I had wronged her? If I thought Scott had cheated on Jen I would have been all over it. Max would have done the same wouldn’t he? Maybe I should call him. Then I don’t have to chase Liv, I can just find out what I need to know from him and put this mess to rest once and for all.
Before I know it I’m dialling his number, I’ve always been slightly impulsive. My stomach is in knots. It rings and I hold my breath.
“Hi,” he answers with a tone of uncertainty.
“Hi,” I respond, not sure how to proceed.
“What the hell happened?” He cuts straight to the chase.
I sigh. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Well you don’t have to go back to the beginning, you can just fill me in from the bit where your ex-girlfriend is doing the striptease in your bedroom.” He sneers, anger and disgust oozing from his voice.
Strangely, I heave a sigh of relief. I pause to take this all in.
“Wait. Is that why she left?” I stupidly ask.
“Yes, that’s why she left. Wasn’t that obvious?” He spits, mystified that I could question him. “And she made me promise not to call you, but trust me, if I see you again, I’m going to break your neck.”
“So it wasn’t because she found out about the proposal?” I mutter in a daze, not taking in what he is saying to me.
“WHAT PROPOSAL?”
“The night she left, I was going to propose,” I say quietly.
“What, after you fucked your ex?”
Silence…his words just hang in the air. My mind goes into overdrive. Max has just confirmed that all my worst fears were unfounded. She didn’t leave because she found out I was going to propose. This is about Brooke. Thank fuck for that! Even as I’m thinking it, I know how ridiculous the whole thing sounds. I would rather Liv thinks I cheated on her, than find out she didn’t love me. But, I realise, that is the truth. I hate myself for being relieved, as it dawns on me the pain she must be going through. But this can be fixed, I know it.
Fleetingly, I wonder if I should be upset that she would think so little of me. But I know I made her question my honesty and I remind myself, it was only a couple of months ago that she found that sleaze Mark with her friend, in her own bedroom. No, this isn’t about me and if I’m ever going to get her back, I must focus on making her trust me again. I need Max to understand the facts.
“Max, I don’t know what she saw. But she didn’t see enough.” I assure him. “I came out of the shower and Brooke was in her underwear lying on my bed. She stole a key a couple of weeks ago and let herself in. As soon as I saw her, I threw her out, straight away. Then I called Liv to tell her what happened, because she asked me to be completely honest with her. But she didn’t pick up and I haven’t heard from her since.” I pause, he says nothing. “I’m not asking you to believe me, but it’s the truth. I love Liv and I would never do anything to hurt her.” The words come from deep inside, they bypass the thought process. My brain is still in the hurt, angry state it was in five minutes ago, it hasn’t caught up with this turn of events. Yet I’m saying how much I love her and I know instantly that I will fight for her. Whatever it takes. Fucking Jen was right. Shit.