‘Try again now you’ve emptied it a bit,’ said Alex.
Unsure, Meeshra held the baby to the deflated nipple.
‘Nose to nipple,’ said Alex. ‘He’ll find it himself.’
Meeshra touched the baby’s milk-spotted nose with her black nipple and he arched his back, finding it with his mouth, clamping on awkwardly, furiously working his tiny jaw, drawing from her so hard she gave a little gasp. The tension left her shoulders as the baby relieved her of the press of milk and she looked gratefully at Alex.
‘You’ve done this, have ya?’
Alex faked a friendly smile. ‘Could you tell me what you remember of this evening? Starting from the beginning.’
‘Oh.’ Meeshra was surprised by the shift of topic but keen to please. ‘Um, well, I was lying in bed, with baby. Billal was sitting on the side of the bed, where your knees are,’ eyes flicked anxiously to the side, ‘helping me. We was having a bit of an argument actually,’ she smirked, awkward, ‘about feeding and that. We hear shouting in the hall and think Omar’s back.’
‘Why would there be shouting when Omar’s back?’
Meeshra rolled her eyes. ‘Well, him and his daddy don’t always get on, so, sometimes they do shout at each other, like, but we wasn’t listening.’
‘What sort of things do they fight about?’
‘I dunno, ask him.’ She shrugged, not quite of the family but still reluctant to betray. ‘Anyway, we wasn’t listening, yeah?’
‘You were talking to Billal?’
‘Yeah, about feeding. So there’s shouting and then we realise. Billal’s like: “That’s not Omar’s voice.” ’
‘How would you describe the voice?’
‘Scotch. A right Scotch voice. Rrrob,’ she rolled her tongue, ‘where’s Rrrrobbie?’
She paused there, which Morrow found interesting, and needed prompting. ‘What then?’
‘Billal went out to see what was going on, because the shouting was getting, well, we knowed it wasn’t Omar shouting. So, he opened the door and popped out, keeping it closed because of me, you know.’ She looked down at the baby at her breast. ‘Me mam-in-law wants the bed here, opposite the door. I want it there.’ She looked up over to a private corner. ‘Anyway, ne’er mind. So, I hear Billal outside, speaking, saying, like, “No, man,” and then suddenly the door’s kicked wide open and me with my nightie all open and the baby here.’ She blushed at the memory, running her fingers over the baby’s down hair.
‘What could you see through the door?’
‘Little man, well not little, but he was standing next to Billal, who’s about six foot three and wide.’
‘How far up Billal did he come?’
‘Top of his head come up to Billal’s jaw, little bit past his jaw.’
‘So he was about…?’
‘About five eight, ten, summat like that.’
‘And build?’
‘’Bout, dunno, wide, a bit fat. Had them shoulders, you know, where the neck’s gone slopey and the shoulders just go straight up to their ears?’
‘Like a weightlifter?’
‘Exactly. A weightlifter. But fat belly, like.’
‘And you didn’t see his face?’
‘He had a woolly mask on with eyeholes.’
‘A balaclava?’
‘Yeah. And he says, like, “You come out here,” or summat, and I’m like, “I can’t, I’ve just had a baby,” ’cause ye know how you’re not meant to get up, yeah?’ Alex remembered quite the opposite. She also remembered envying the gall of women who treated having a baby like full body polio, making visitors get them this, hand them that, though they usually staged miraculous recoveries the minute visiting was over. ‘So he’s like, “Get up,” right? I’m like, “No.” And then Billal stepped in front of us and says, “Come on, mate, that’s enough,” but then the gun fella says to the other bloke who’s wi’ him, shouts at him, really angry, “Lift your gun, Pat.”’
‘Pat?’
‘Yeah, that were his name, Pat, and they both froze then, like they’d shit themselves ’cause he’d said it.’
Alex had heard Billal’s accent as she came through the hall. Unless she missed her guess he had been educated at St Al’s, the private Catholic school in the city centre, an expensive highly academic institution. He had that confident public school charm and a particular turn in his ‘r’s. Meeshra was common, used swear words without a thought, had bad grammar, reported speech as if she was telling another girl on a street corner about a fight at school.
‘Just out of interest, how did you meet Billal?’
‘Come up with my family.’
‘To live in Glasgow?’
‘Nah, nah, it were a set-up. Arranged marriage. We only met four times before we got married.’
‘Oh, I see.’
Defensive, Meeshra turned back to the baby. ‘Yous don’t understand about it, think it’s all forced and that-’
Alex cut her off. ‘I don’t.’
Meeshra looked at her.
‘I’m all for it. Especially if you’re moving in with the in-laws. You’re not just picking a husband, are you?’ Alex had thought about it often, who her mother would have picked for her, how differently her life would have gone. That was the thing about arranged marriages, she thought, no one got the right to choose an unexpected future for themselves.
Meeshra gave her a soft smile. ‘Exactly.’
‘You’re picking the whole family. You need to know you’re compatible in lots of ways.’
She nodded. ‘Exactly, exactly,’ and tipped her head at Alex, wondering if she was being played. She seemed to realise Alex was genuine and smiled softly, almost grateful.
Alex blinked, resuming her questions. ‘Back to before, so the gunman says “Pat” and they both freeze. Then what?’
‘Yeah, so, he’s like “Pat” and they both freeze and then, suddenly, me mam-in-law’s like, “What’s doing out here?” and the fat one run down the hall, I seen him skip past my door here,’ she pointed past the door to the back of the house, ‘and he brung me mam-in-law and Dada back up. Then they was quiet for a bit. And then Pat shot Aleesha’s hand off.’
‘Just out of the blue?’
‘Yeah.’
‘No threats or demands?’
‘Nah.’
‘Did you see him shoot the gun?’
‘Naw. I heard a, like, a big ‘whump’ noise and seen a light and then Aleesha says, like, “You’ve shot me fucking hand off!” ’
‘How did you know it was Pat who did it?’
‘’Cause the other one was there at the door and I could see him.’
‘You heard the shot?’
‘Yeah. And light, like white light, a flash and everyone looked over there and I seen blood on the wall and I thought Aleesha had been shot but then I heard her go, “You’ve shot me fucking hand off.”’ Meeshra didn’t seem very sad that Aleesha had been shot. She actually smiled a little.
‘She swore?’
‘Aleesha’s…’ Meeshra looked away quickly, snorted a joyless laugh. ‘Well, a teenager.’ Received opinion, repeated comments. Meeshra wasn’t far off her teens herself.
‘Were you like that?’
That hollow laugh again. ‘Me dad would have battered me.’
‘Is Aamir not like that?’
She shook her head. ‘Even if he were I don’t think she’d be any better. Jeans and T-shirts. Nail varnish. Won’t observe religious practice at all.’
‘A rebel?’
‘No. Stubborn.’ She was angry about it but not really with Aleesha, seemed slightly removed from it, as if her belonging to family was contingent on her joining in a campaign against the girl.
‘Did she stop wearing traditional clothing?’
Meeshra became embarrassed. ‘Never done. Dunno. I just… Dunno.’
‘She hasn’t ever worn them?’
‘Nah. I dunno.’ She wouldn’t look at Morrow.
‘Are the family converts?’