The Gnomes had cooked everyone a breakfast made up primarily of large eggs and some sort of leafy herb that the White Rabbit had packed for them. As obnoxious as the two little men were, they were among the most amazing cooks that Robert had ever experienced. Their ability to make a meal out of anything was remarkable.
Lily had taken Robert’s pyjama shirt to wear and looked very much like an outdoorsy person with her thick, rough pants and baggy shirt. Her hair was messy and her face still held traces of soot. Her eyes seemed less bright this morning, and much to Robert’s joy, she had lost the sternness he had experienced in her last night. Lily’s mood swings were extremely random and always seemed worse at night. Robert was having trouble figuring her out and it didn’t help that he’d yet to figure out any female he’d ever met.
The Gnomes extinguished the fire and the foursome prepared to make their way along the dim path out of the dark forest. Robert felt like he was forgetting something, something important.
“Where’s the kitten?” he remembered.
The Gnomes finished kicking dirt on the fire and looked at Robert as if he’d lost his mind.
“What are you talking about?” asked Gnick.
“The kitten from the halfway house; he was asleep here last night and gone when I woke up this morning.”
“Maybe you dreamt it,” suggested General Gnarly.
“You guys are just screwing with me, right? Bloody hell, you didn’t cook it, did you?”
“Look, moron,” said Gnick, “I promise you, we don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lily was looking at him in complete confusion.
“Lily,” pleaded Robert, “you must remember the cat. You told me about how there are no cats in Thiside.”
“That’s true, there are no cats in Thiside,” agreed Lily.
“I know! You told me why, about the Cheshire cat and how he vanished and the Emerald Guard were ordered to kill all the cats.”
“Where did you learn all that?”
“You told me!”
“I don’t remember that at all,” said Lily with complete sincerity.
Robert rubbed his temples. Something in his mind twitched uncomfortably. He felt for a moment that he was back home and he’d just woken up in his elementary school teacher’s flower garden with no memory of how he got there. “Look, what do you remember about the halfway house?”
“There was a fire,” said Lily, “we all got out alive and then spent the rest of the night here.”
“But you don’t remember the cat?”
“What cat?”
“He was small and fuzzy, black and orange, and the fire didn’t like him. He’s the only reason I made it out of the halfway house in the first place.”
“Robert,” said Lily as if she was talking to a little boy in kindergarten who had just wet himself, “you’ve been through a lot during the past twenty-four hours. Maybe you dreamt it and it just felt real?”
The twitch in Robert’s mind turned into an itch, then it pulsated, and then it burned, and then… nothing. It was as if something clicked. A little voice in Robert’s mind that sounded a lot like Robert said, “Maybe she’s right, maybe we dreamt it.”
“Who the hell was that?” said Robert.
“Who was what?” said Lily, looking concerned now.
Robert looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. “Maybe you’re right, maybe it was a dream,” he agreed.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Lily.
“Yes, we’re fine,” said the voice in Robert’s head.
“Yes, I agree we’re fine,” said Robert. This is it. I’m losing my mind.
“Oh no, I’m sure we’re okay,” said the voice.
“All right, if you say so,” conceded Robert.
Lily and the Gnomes stared at him.
“What?”
“I think we should get moving,” said Lily in the fond hope that changing the subject would make the weirdness go away. “If we absolutely have to speak to the Historian, I’d rather do it well before nightfall.”
Lily and the Gnomes set off along the path, Gnick and General Gnarly deep in conversation. Maybe it was Robert’s paranoia but he felt like they were talking about him.
“They’re probably talking about us,” agreed the voice.
“Really, you think so?” Robert asked the voice.
“Most likely.”
“Well, what do you think they’re talking about?”
“Probably about how you’re standing here talking to no one in particular.”
“Well, you’re me, right? So really I’m just talking to myself.”
“That’s just as weird, you know?”
“Look, just shut up, I’m having enough trouble with everything today without me making it worse.”
“Yeah, that’s strange about the cat.”
“I’m not talking to you anymore,” said Robert resolutely.
“Suit yerself,” said the voice.
It should have worried Robert that he was not only hearing voices but also holding full conversations with them.
“Voice,” said the voice.
“What?” said Robert.
“Voice, not voices. Singular, not plural. You’re just hearing the one voice.”
“Oh right. Thanks.”
But for some reason, and just as equally disturbing, it didn’t feel weird at all. It didn’t worry him. It simply felt like it was the right way for things to go. The disappearance of the cat actually worried him more.
Robert took a moment to examine his surroundings. It’s true that there were no signs of a cat being anywhere in the area, although aside from maybe a hairball or poop, Robert couldn’t think of anything else that would show the presence of a cat.
Did I really dream it all?
“Who knows?” said the voice in his head.
And now his own mind was arguing with him. It had never done that before. Robert felt different today and he couldn’t decide whether it was a good different or a bad different or a completely indifferent different. But whatever it was, as Robert turned and followed the others to find that Lily was waiting for him, he decided that today was probably going to be one of those days. Whatever that meant.
After several failed attempts, Robert’s mind gave up on trying to make conversation with itself and committed to humming which, to Robert, was much more favourable.
They’d exited the Dark Forest around mid-morning into what was a very dreary day. The grey clouds hung low in the sky and occasionally spat on people. The forest opened out into a large valley with lush green fields, copses of trees, and the occasional stone structure. Lily had explained that there was a great deal of farmland in the North. Robert could see mountains that disappeared into the low clouds off to the West. Far off in the East, barely visible, he could see a storm brewing. Three high mountains surrounded the valley. Before them, the brick road split into three.
“There are no signposts anywhere,” commented Robert.
“Why does that matter?” asked Lily.
“How do you know where you’re going all the time?”