The Dwarf walked over to what looked like a ruined storage shed and struggled with the door, which stubbornly refused to move an inch.
“You, Rhino head, come over here,” said Rumpelstiltskin. When there was no sign of movement, the Dwarf looked over to see Blarfunder standing with his large arms firmly crossed.
“I don’t appreciate the derogatory term,” said Blarfunder, sounding insulted.
“But you have the head of a rhino.”
“Maybe I’m a rhino but have the body of a human. Ever thought of that?”
“Well…”
“It’s insulting, is what it is. It’s not like you’d say you, human body, come over here.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“You humans are all racists against us Humanimals.”
“But I’m not a human either. I’m a Dwarf!”
“Hardly a minority, though, are you?”
“What?”
“Well, there’s thousands of you Dwarves, only a few hundred Humanimals, though.”
“Look, I’m in a bit of a hurry,” said the Dwarf. “How do I make this up to you?”
“You could start by apologizing.”
“I’m very sorry for calling you rhino head. Now come and move this door.”
“Wouldn’t hurt you to say please.”
Rumpelstiltskin began jumping up and down in frustration. “Will you please come and move this damn door!”
“All right, all right, no need to shout.”
Blarfunder picked up the door as if it weighed nothing and threw it like a Frisbee across the landscape. Under the door were several cloth bags, which the Dwarf dragged out into the middle of the courtyard.
“Now go back to…” began the Dwarf and then realized that Blarfunder had raised a questioning eyebrow, which was not the easiest thing for a rhino’s head to do. “I mean, please go back to keeping lookout.”
“Happy to,” said Blarfunder and returned to his post. Ian was running laps around the courtyard while Crushnut was standing at one end of the courtyard using less than one percent of his brain. Blarfunder assumed his position at the other end of the courtyard and proceeded to look mean.
Rumpelstiltskin felt a shimmer of excitement creep up his spine and tickle his brain. This was it. What he’d started all that time ago was finally going to be finished. The stupid blood of the White Rabbit would mean nothing and there’d be a whole new world to terrorize without being hindered by the Agency. After the regulators were removed from the doors, they’d be far too busy dealing with the hundreds of people falling through doors to worry about little old Rumpelstiltskin.
He began to unpack the necessary ingredients for the spell with a maniacal grin pasted across his face.
Robert couldn’t determine if it was the warm-blooded nature of the creature he was straddling or if he’d wet himself. In his opinion, it could go either way. He’d come extremely close to passing out after initial take-off as the Demon had carried him up and up through the clouds, high above the Earth until his head spun. He couldn’t be certain but he almost thought he could hear the voice in his head laughing with excitement, and that simple fact made him certain that the voice was not a part of him.
He’d wished with all sincerity that the creature would stop climbing and glide back down to a reasonable height. Which it did. After that, it all seemed so easy. It took the simplest thoughtful urge to tell the Demon what to do and which way to go and even how to do it. Every so often, the Demon would let out a skkrraccchha or a sccraaahtatatata, but even that had ceased to irritate Robert as he fully began to appreciate the feeling of flying. Forty-eight hours ago, he was an accountant working in a cubicle, sitting comfortably in a one-sided relationship with a nice girl, he had an apartment and a landlady; he visited his adoptive mother every other weekend. He was boring. Now he was racing above the world of Thiside on the back of Screech Demon in pursuit of an evil wish-granting Dwarf who threatened to twist reality inexplicably. He was in the company of a beautiful werewolf. He’d been attacked by bandits and Mermaids. He’d met a giant White Rabbit and a wizard. He’d jumped through reality as if it was an everyday chore. He’d been injured and healed, buried alive, and almost burned to death. He’d very briefly owned a cat. And most importantly, he now knew this was his home. This was where he was born. And no matter what the outcome, this was where he was determined to stay.
“That’s if you make it out of all this alive,” said the voice.
“What do you mean?” shouted Robert over the wind that was rushing by.
“You don’t have to shout, I’m in your head.”
“Sorry.”
“I mean that this is where you’ll stay as long as you survive whatever it is Rumpelstiltskin’s going to do to you.”
“Well, yes, I suppose so.”
“Sorry, I broke your train of thought.”
“No, it’s okay. Good to be brought back to reality, thanks,” said Robert, but didn’t mean it.
Lily finally caught up to him.
“You’re going in the wrong direction!” she shouted.
“Oh,” said Robert, “Sorry!” he shouted back and thought to the Demon to turn itself around, which it did with grace and finesse and shot itself forward with powerful wings. Lily flew above and to his left.
“You’re very good at this,” she yelled.
“What can I say? I’m a natural,” he shouted back.
Lily looked beautiful. Her hair, which was still filthy from the graveyard, whipped around her head and her amber eyes blazed as the sun set and twilight swept across the land.
“How long until we get there?” he shouted.
Lily pointed ahead. Rushing toward them in the distance across the darkening horizon was a line of shimmering green.
Villages and settlements flew by beneath them as the Demons propelled themselves over the land. It felt to Robert as if the Demons barely used their wings but flew under their own volition and only used their wings for an occasional burst of speed. He looked at Lily again.
“You should tell her,” said the voice in his head.
“Tell her what?” said Robert.
“How you feel.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do I seriously need to spell it out for you?”
“You want me to tell her now?”
“Why not?”
“We’re flying hundreds of feet above the ground, racing toward the ruins of the Emerald City and who knows what else.”
“Can you think of a better time?”
Robert couldn’t.
“Lily!” shouted Robert.
Lily looked over as the last remnant of sunlight slipped across her features before the sun nosedived beneath the horizon.
“I think I love you!” shouted Robert.
The look she gave him was not what he expected. It looked like she was about to smile but then she instantly looked worried and then screamed, “Look out!” which wasn’t exactly the combination of words he was hoping for.
A chunk of green masonry the size of a garbage can flew between them, clipping one wing of Lily’s Screech Demon, which screamed and plummeted toward the ground.
“Lily!” shouted Robert but didn’t have time to see if she was okay as another piece of masonry was thrown from somewhere on the ground, causing Robert’s Demon to flip sideways. Robert flailed at the reins as he slid from the saddle and fell from the creature.