“Advice, please?” Robert asked the Cat but there was no answer.
“Run!” shouted Lily.
Robert turned to run and saw that everyone else had already scattered.
The full force of the explosion hit him in the back and he felt a piece of him dislodge. He sincerely hoped it was the Cat he felt and not his spleen rupturing. He was thrown several feet across the courtyard and slammed into a chunk of emerald rock. He was comforted by the thought that the rock probably hadn’t felt a thing so at the very least he didn’t have that on his conscience.
Waves of extremely cold green flame washed over him, plastering him to the hard surface. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the luminescence spread out across the ruins, delivering the green glow back to the landscape. A moment later and it was all over. Robert slid roughly to the ground and slipped into sweet unconsciousness.
What most people failed to realize was that spells had a life span. Aside from the Cat, a few of the more senior wizards of Oz, the exiled Evil Queen, and the wizard Niggle, no one else in Thiside or Othaside knew this. The actual successful execution of a spell came when the spell died. In its death, a spell caused a massive release of magic that completed the objective of the spell.
As soon as Rumpelstiltskin began reading the incantations, the spell was thrust into existence and the further along the spell casting went, the stronger and more developed it became. Having no mouth, it had no external way of projecting its opinions. Internally, though, it could chat up a storm. From conception to destruction, the spell’s timeless thoughts had gone something like this:
“Well then,” said the Spell, “this is a turn-up for the books. What have we got here, then? Looks like a Dwarf. Ugly Dwarf, at that. I bet he smells funny. And there’s a couple of big fellas over there. They don’t look overly smart, do they? Heyy, a door! I haven’t seen one of those in… well… ever. Well, that is a large woman. No, wait, it’s a man with long hair. He should cut that, he looks like a woman. I wonder if he gets comments about his hair, it is quite nice. I bet he uses some sort of special plant extract to keep it that shiny. Wow! Those look like dragons! Why are they throwing rocks at them? That’s not very nice. I see the Dwarf is reading again. It feels good when he reads, makes me feel all tingly. Hey, there are two people sneaking behind that rock over there. Oh never mind, the big one found them. Something very strange about that tall gangly-looking one. He’s got something inside of him that’s very unusual, I wonder if anyone else can see it? Aww, the Dwarf’s stopped reading. That’s a very shiny knife, looks like he’s going to shave that tall gentleman with the thing inside him. That’s awfully nice. Oh, they’re coming closer.”
“Hello,” said the Cat to the Spell.
“Hello,” said the Spell.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way but I’m going to burst forth from this human and use you as a springboard to launch myself back into the world.”
“I don’t think that’s what I’m meant for.”
“No, that’s true, but I’d certainly appreciate the effort,” said the Cat.
“Well, I don’t personally have any problem with it.”
“And please allow me to offer my most sincere condolences in regards to your impending death.”
“That’s awfully nice of you,” said the Spell appreciatively. “It’s really no big deal, it’s life.”
“If you say so.”
“So what happens now?”
“Well, you’re going to become unstable and explode.”
“And then you’ll use the explosion to birth yourself into existence?”
“Well, yes. If you don’t mind me saying so, you have a fantastic grasp on all of this.”
“Thank you. I like to think I’m a very intuitive Spell. Whoa, that didn’t feel good. What was that?”
“That was you becoming unstable. This next bit is going to hurt a little bit but please be assured that I hold the utmost respect for you.”
“Well, thank you, I really appreciate the sentiment… oh… that doesn’t feel goo―”
And the Spell exploded, ending its life instantly.
Rumpelstiltskin was sprinting as fast as his little legs could carry him. While sprinting, he was cursing. He cursed the spell for becoming unstable. He cursed Robert Darkly for his interference. He cursed the Mad Hatter for ever setting him on this path in the first place. He cursed Jack because he was an idiot. He even cursed several chunks of masonry and rotting Ogre remains that blocked his path as he tried to move as swiftly away from the explosion as possible.
The last thing the evil Dwarf ever heard was scraachachcachacha! as an injured and extremely pissed-off Screech Demon ripped his head from his shoulders. The part of a Screech Demon’s brain that dealt with recall and memory was exceptionally small but there were certain things that stuck out in a creature’s mind. Thanks to highly enhanced eyesight and hearing, the thing that stuck out in the minds of the two Screech Demons was the order of, “Kill them,” issued by the Dwarf they were now eating. Chances were, he wouldn’t be making that mistake again.
Robert woke up lying on his back. His head was resting in Lily’s lap while a massive black panther licked the side of his face.
“Am I dreaming?”
“No, silly,” said Lily. “You had me scared. I thought you were dead.”
“I’m happy I’m not dead,” said Robert.
“So am I,” said Lily and smiled.
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
For a while, Robert lay still as happiness and exhaustion washed over him. The panther continued licking his face. It was a big cat, very regal looking. It also had a large mouth with sharp teeth and Robert thought asking it to stop would be rude and possibly hazardous to his health.
“What happened?”
“The spell became unstable and exploded. Rumpelstiltskin failed. The doors are still intact.”
“Where is everyone?”
“General Gnarly took a nasty hit to the head, he’s not doing very well. Gnick’s wrapping him as best he can. Jack was knocked unconscious.”
“And the Dwarf?”
“Dead.”
“In the explosion?”
“No.”
“You killed him?”
“No.”
“Gnick killed him?”
“No.”
“You know, you could just tell me.”
“Rumpelstiltskin fled from the scene when he realized what was happening. I pursued him and almost caught him but I wasn’t fast enough. The Screech Demons survived their fall and caught Rumpelstiltskin running from the explosion. Apparently, Screech Demons hold a grudge.”
“So we won?”
“It seems that way.”
“Lily.”
“Yes, Robert?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why is there a giant panther licking my face?”
“You should ask him that.”
The panther backed off and stretched its large muscular body while Robert sat himself up with Lily’s assistance. His back felt like it had been slammed into a large rock and he was convinced that his entire backside would be bruised for many years to come. The giant Cat sat in front of him and tilted its head. Robert felt it looked familiar.
“I should look familiar,” said the Cat. “I’ve lived in your head for the last twenty-four hours. You should really clean up in there; it’s quite the mess.”