«We’re here,» she said. «Will you go ashore now?»
«Yes. Immediately. You have your instructions? Is everything clear?»
«Clear,» she answered sadly. «Must you do this?»
«Oh yes,» he whispered as he moved past her. All he could think about was the crystal. The crystal, waiting to drain away the centuries. «Oh yes.»
He went out through a long passageway. On either side, in ranks that reached the ceiling, were hundreds of heads encased in clear plastic blocks. Nomun kept his eyes on his feet; he felt the pressure of all those dead eyes. «Don’t blame me,» he muttered. «You lost.»
Nomun woke with the first sunlight and raised his face from the glittering sand. The red light slanted across the beach, lit the motionless forms of the others, sprawled in the active zone. On the edge of the sea, Dead Nomun waited.
A faint chorus of chimes rang across the black water, and Nomun recognized the sound. Alarms on the breathboats, he thought. They don't want to miss the end. As he looked, the first of the passengers appeared. They waved; some seemed jovial, some disappointed.
Young Nomun stirred, groaned. After a moment, he got to his knees. «Have we lived?» he asked.
Nomun sat up. «Perhaps.» He looked out at the breathboats. Observers crowded the decks; they waited in silence.
A furtive sound from behind claimed his attention. Jade Nomun had revived; his forearm was locked across Young Nomun’s throat. The two fell to the ground, struggling.
Nomun sighed. He was abruptly weaiy, almost too weaiy to act But he got to his feet anyway, trudged across the sand.
Young Nomun’s movements were weakening; he looked up at Nomun with desperate eyes. Jade Nomun’s gaze was blind, his teeth were bared in a painfully wide grin. Tendons stood out on his neck like wire. He wrenched at his forearm and laughed when Young Nomun made a small gagging sound.
«Stop,» Nomun said. «Stop it, if you want to live.»
Jade Nomun laughed again, eyes incandescent with triumph. «I live now!» He rolled Young Nomun under him and ground his face into the broken diamonds.
Nomun kicked him, felt ribs break. But Jade Nomun’s grip didn’t slacken. «Oh well,» Nomun muttered, and reached down to curl his hand around Jade Nomun’s chin. He felt the life surging imder the skin. He dropped his knee onto Jade Nomun’s neck, jerked upward at the same time. Jade Nomun’s neck broke, his head rotated without resistance. His eyes fastened on Nomun, burned for an instant longer, then went dull.
Young Nomun pulled free and lay gasping on the sand.
Good, Nomun thought. It’s good he’s alive. He dropped Jade Nomun’s head, got up.
When the killmech moved in to take its trophy, he turned away, stumbled to the edge of the water. He waited there, until the sun was well clear of the horizon, staring at the nearest breathboat. The Nomuns there seemed like inconsequential ghosts and he ignored them.
The pale-haired captain came on deck; when she saw him, she smiled brilliantly and waved.
«Behind you,» Young Nomun rasped. Nomun turned, to see Dead Nomun. The killmech was very close; in one metal hand it held some sharp gleaming object Nomun leapt away, a convulsive movement and fell backward into the water.
«No!» he shouted. «Get back.» But the mech waded into the sea, and jabbed the weapon against his neck, before he could flounder away.
«You ordered this, Master,» it said. It took his arm, helped him from the sea He saw that the ‘weapon’ was a drug injector. «An antidote, Master. For a mnemonic block.»
He searched his mind and found just one new memory. It swam into focus.
Four days ago, before the other nomuns had begun their dying, he had opened his eyes to find his head gloriously empty. The blonde woman had lifted the inductor harness away and handed it to one of the men who stood near.
«Are you eased now, Nomun?» she had asked with a small smile. «Nomun; that’s your name, that’s all you will remember, after I give you this.»
She held up an injector. «A mnemonic block. You ordered me to give it to you, before we moved you and the other Nomuns around to the terminal beach.»
Nomun looked around. The men all had the same face, hard, cold, determined. His face.
«Your brothers, Nomun. Flesh of your flesh. But they do not bear your name. That’s important to you.» The woman no longer smiled; some unhappy emotion crossed her smooth face. «You asked me to say these things, and then make you forget them, until you emerge from your little war. If you ever do. Do you understand at all?»
«No.»
«I’m not surprised,» she said. «No one else understands. But listen: You’ve just given a hundred and thirty years of ugly memory to a biostorage device. All you have left are the skills of your body and your name.» She caressed his cheek with cool fingers, smiled again, sadly. «Though not till your memories were ugly; this I know, because we’ve shared some sweet ones. But anyway. This is how you bear your life–you told me to say it just that way. I don’t know why it can’t, stop there, but it can’t or so you say.» She sighed. «In a little while, we’ll take you to the other end of the memwort and lay you on the sand with nine of your clones. Clones who’ve taken the name; you’ve collected them over these last few years.»
He had become uneasy, watching the ir\jector. «I really don’t understand at all. Wait... perhaps I’ll change my mind.» He tried to rise; strong hands pressed him back, though not roughly.
«No. I have your orders, Nomun. You warned me that you might suffer an attack of sanity, after the memories were gone. Were it up to me, I’d take you back to the boat, but your killmech and your brothers would not permit it So you’ll go, you’ll risk your life among those animals who wear your face.»
«Why? Do you know?»
She leaned forward, caressed his cheek, and then the injector hissed. «Because you’re a great fool,» she had said, with bitter affection, tears pooling in her eyes.
Nomun sighed. Young Nomun stood beside him, watching the launch arrow across the water toward the beach. The palehaired woman stood in the prow, face glowing.
«Will I live?» Young Nomun asked.
Nomun turned, looked at the smooth face, now so much older than it had been–and somehow darker. «Yes,» he answered. «Yes, if you’ll give up the name.»
Young Nomun shrugged. «Of course. Life seems far more important to me than any name.»
Nomun smiled, with an effort.
As they waded out to the launch, young nomun asked, in a low voice, «So, will you tell me now? Are you the first Nomun?» Just for a moment, all of Nomun’s years returned, all that deadly crushing weight. Nomun stopped, knee-deep in the black ocean, and felt the sand shift under his boots.
Finally he answered. «How could I ever know?» □