Restless, I go down from the bluff and walk along the lakeside. I haven’t been this far before, never felt any desire to go any further. Now, though, I feel compelled to plot the extent of the farm’s boundaries.
The track ends at the bluff, and a little further along the woods come right to the water’s edge. I pick my way along it to the far bank of the lake, then carry on until I reach the end of the farm’s land. Strands of rusty barbed wire weave along the edge of the tree line, nailed into the trunks. There isn’t much to see on the other side except wheat fields. There are no paths or tracks down here, and if there’s any reason for the barbed wire I can’t see it. The wheat is hardly likely to trespass, but that isn’t the point.
Arnaud’s marking his territory.
If I needed more proof it comes only a few minutes later. I start to follow the fence, and only at the last second notice a hard-edged shape nestled in a tuft of grass. It’s one of Arnaud’s traps, jaws spread wide and waiting. I didn’t think he’d have bothered to put them all the way down here, but he obviously isn’t taking any chances. Neither am I: I look around until I find a stick and thrust it into the trap’s jaws. They snap shut hard enough to splinter the wood.
The thought of more of them hidden away snuffs any desire to explore further. In the fading light I use my walking stick to probe ahead of me as I head back to the lake. I come out on the opposite side to the bluff, and stand for a few moments to take it in from this new perspective. The banks of the lake are overgrown with reeds and bulrushes, but from here I can see a patch of shingle tucked behind a grassy hummock. I make my way over, my feet crunching as they sink into the thin covering of pebbles. The water shelves quickly, shading to dark green as it deepens. I crouch down and dip my hand in. It’s cold, and a mist of sediment stirs when my fingers touch the bottom.
This would be a good place to swim from, I think. Most of the lakeside is muddy, but I could wade out from here. I swirl my fingers through the water, silvering the broken surface. The air hasn’t lost its daytime heat, and the thought of stripping off and plunging into the cool lake is beguiling. Only my bandaged foot stops me, but I’ve waited this long. The stitches are almost ready to come out, and when they do I can celebrate with a long-overdue swim.
If I’m still here.
I stand up and flick the water from my hand, sending tiny ripples shivering across the lake. An insipid moon has come out as I return to the bluff for Mathilde’s book, then head back through the woods. The sanglochons are quiet tonight, the statues silent as ever. It’s only my mood that makes them seem watchful and sinister, but I’m still glad when I emerge from the trees.
The stars are scattered like powder across the darkening sky, a stark reminder of our insignificance. When I reach the barn I linger outside, not yet ready to go up to the loft’s airless heat. I’m debating helping myself to another bottle of Arnaud’s wine when the sound of breaking glass comes from the house.
It’s followed by another. There’s yelling and hysterical laughter as I hurry to the courtyard. As I reach it the kitchen door is flung open and Arnaud bursts out. In the spill of light I can see he’s holding the rifle. I stop dead, certain that if he sees any movement in the darkness he’ll shoot.
‘No, don’t!’
Mathilde rushes after him. He ignores her, striding towards the track that leads to the road. Rowdy cheers follow another shattering of glass that I now realize is a window breaking. Mathilde tries to hold Arnaud back but he shakes her off, and then they’re both out of sight. I hurry across the courtyard as Gretchen appears in the doorway. She’s holding Michel, her face white and anxious.
‘Stay there,’ I tell her.
Without waiting to see what she does, I set off after Mathilde and Arnaud, crossing the cobbles in an awkward half-run, halfhop. The shouting is coming from the woods behind the house. There are several voices, whooping and jeering, and now I can make out what they’re saying.
‘Here, piggy! Send your daughters out, Arnaud!’
‘There’s one of your little piggies here, come and say hello!’
There are grunts and squeals, a high-pitched burst of raucous laughter. Ahead of me I can make out the shadowy figures of Arnaud and Mathilde against the lighter background of the track. Mathilde has hold of Arnaud’s arm, struggling with him.
‘Don’t! Leave them, they’ll go!’
‘Get in the house!’
He pushes her away and in the same movement brings the rifle up and fires. His features are lit up as it cracks out, and the jeers are abruptly cut off. There’s cursing and yells of alarm, followed by the crashing of undergrowth. Arnaud aims the long barrel into the blackness of the woods as he shoots again and again, working the bolt so quickly that the snap of one discharge merges with the next. Only when the commotion has died away does he stop, lowering the rifle with what could be reluctance.
In the distance a car engine roars into life and quickly recedes. Quiet settles like a blanket over the night.
Arnaud doesn’t move. Mathilde stands with her back to him, hands over her ears. They’re two featureless black shapes, no more human in the darkness than the trees themselves. She remains immobile as Arnaud finally turns back towards the house. His footsteps crunch on the track. He passes me as if I’m not there. I wait, watching Mathilde. Eventually she drops her arms. I hear a soft snuffle. One hand comes up to her face, makes a wiping motion. Slowly, she begins to make her way down the track.
‘Are you OK?’ I ask.
My voice makes her start. I can pick out her features now, pale and scared against the dark framing of her hair. She gives a nod. Head down, she goes past, so close she almost brushes against me. She vanishes around the corner of the house, and a moment later I hear a faint click as the kitchen door is closed.
I stay on the track, looking up towards the now silent woods. My heart is racing. Gradually, the whisper of crickets resumes.
Accompanied by their music, I go back to the barn.
The skylight is fogged with condensation. Rain sweeps against it with a noise like a drum roll. Our smudged reflections hang above us as we lie on the bed, misted doppelgangers trapped in the glass.
Chloe has gone distant again. I know her moods well enough not to push, to leave her to herself until she returns of her own accord. She stares up through the skylight, blond hair catching the glow from the seashell-lamp she bought from a flea market. Her eyes are blue and unblinking. I feel, as I always do, that I could pass my hand over them without any reaction from her. I want to ask what she’s thinking, but I don’t. I’m frightened she might tell me.
The air is cold and damp on my bare chest. At the other side of the room a blank canvas stands untouched on Chloe’s easel. It’s been blank for weeks now. The reek of oil and turpentine, for so long the smell I’ve associated with the small flat, has faded until it’s barely noticeable.
I feel her stir beside me.
‘Do you ever think about dying?’ she asks.
I don’t know what to say. The atmosphere between us has been strung taut since I found the coke. Chloe swears it was an isolated mistake she won’t repeat, and I’m trying to believe her. Neither of us talks about Jules. Each day is a delicate balancing act that could fall and shatter if we don’t maintain it.