And so am I.
I shield my eyes from the glare, hoping even now he might not notice me. For a moment nothing happens. Then the engine and headlights are turned off. As I try to blink away their afterimage I hear the car door open. It chunks shut as Jules comes to stand in front of the car.
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’
Still dazzled, I try to make him out in the darkness. ‘Chloe’s dead.’
It’s the only thing I can think of to say. There’s a pause. For a second or two I actually hope we might be able to put aside any rivalry.
‘And?’
‘Did you know?’
‘Yeah. So if that’s what you came to tell me you can turn around and piss off.’
The anger that had drained away starts to seep back. ‘What did you do to her?’
‘I didn’t do anything, she did it all herself. That’s why they call it suicide. Now why don’t you do us both a favour and fuck off, because I’m really not in the mood for a sermon.’
‘You threw her out.’
‘Big deal. I didn’t ask her to jump off a bridge.’ There’s something defensive behind his aggression. ‘Anyway, what the fuck’s it got to do with you? I can’t remember you being so concerned when you walked out and left her. You want to blame anyone, look in a fucking mirror!’
It’s close enough to what Yasmin said to make me want to hit out. ‘Did you know she’d had an abortion?’
That’s met with silence. My eyes have adjusted enough to see him shrug. ‘So what?’
‘She said it was yours.’
‘Yeah? She should have been more careful. At least she had the sense to get rid of it.’ The callousness sounds forced, but it’s quickly replaced by rage. ‘You want to know why I kicked her out? Because she’d got to be a fucking liability. An embarrassment! She was a fucking cokehead, it’s not my fault she couldn’t keep her shit together.’
‘And who made her like that?’
This time the silence is threatening. ‘You need to watch what you’re saying.’
‘You got her hooked and then dropped her when she wouldn’t courier for you!’
‘Last chance. Shut the fuck up and go. Now.’
‘Why, so you can ruin someone else’s life? You’re just a fucking pimp!’
For a few seconds the only sound is our breathing. Then Jules turns back to his car. I think he’s going to drive off but instead he goes around to the passenger side. He opens the door and leans inside, emerging with something long and slender.
‘I warned you,’ he says, walking towards me.
He’s got a baseball bat.
The situation seems unreal. I take a step back, and as though that’s the trigger he rushes forward. I try to dodge as he swings, gasping in shock as much as pain as the bat smacks into my raised arm. I stumble away as Jules flails wildly, missing more often than he connects, and there’s a clatter of glass as I trip over a box of empty bottles. Off-balance, I only just get my arm up in time as the bat comes at my head. It glances off my shoulder and catches me on the cheek. There’s a hot flash of light, then I’m falling. I land clumsily, sending bottles skittering over the pavement. Numb with panic, I try to scramble away as Jules raises the bat above me, his face contorted.
‘The fuck’s going on?’
The shout comes from across the road. A big figure blocks out the light from the same doorway Jules came from. As it steps into the street I recognize the broad shoulders of Lenny.
‘It’s the cunt from the Zed,’ Jules pants. The bat is still poised ready to swing, but it’s clear he’s deferring to the other man.
The big head moves, trying to make me out in the darkness. ‘What’s he doing here?’
‘He’s heard about Chloe. He’s trying to blame me for—’
‘For fuck’s sake,’ Lenny mutters, and starts towards us.
There’s something terrifying about his unhurried intent, and while Jules is still distracted I grab one of the bottles lying nearby and hurl it at his head. He sees it coming and ducks, and as it shatters behind him I make a run for it. There’s a shout as I barge past, and I feel the bat whoosh past my head close enough to ruffle my hair. Then I’m pounding down the street as hard as I can. Jules’s footsteps are just behind me as Lenny angles across the road to cut me off. There’s nowhere to go, but Jules’s car is dead ahead. Its passenger door is still open, so I throw myself inside. Jules grabs for me and cries out when I slam the door on his arm, trapping it. The baseball bat clatters to the pavement as I heave on the handle, keeping him pinned. His arm’s bleeding where the edge of the door has gouged into it, and as he clutches for me across the seat I see that Lenny has almost reached the car. I can’t keep them both out, so as Jules tries to wrench free I shove the door against him. He stumbles backwards, and as his arm clears the door I yank it shut.
There’s a beautiful clunk as I hit the central-locking button and the bolts shoot home. Then the car shudders as Jules hurls himself against it.
‘Open the fucking door!’ he shouts, banging on the glass. ‘You’re dead, you hear me? Fucking dead!’
I’m sprawled across the front seats, gasping for breath. Pushing myself upright, I see why Jules hasn’t used his key to unlock the car.
It’s still in the ignition.
I scramble over to the driver’s seat as he pounds on the passenger window. ‘Don’t you fucking dare!’
My hand shakes as I turn the key and jam my foot down. The car jerks forward and stalls. I flinch at a sudden bang on the door next to me as Lenny rams an elbow against the window. The car rocks as Jules wrenches at the door, yelling as I turn the key again.
‘No, wait! Don’t—!’
The engine drowns out his voice. Lenny has picked up the baseball bat but I’m already accelerating away. He jumps back but Jules runs alongside, still hammering on the glass. He’s screaming at me now, but I stamp on the pedal and he abruptly disappears. There’s time for a moment’s relief, then the steering wheel is almost torn from my hands as the car bucks and judders. A clattering comes from the passenger side, as though something’s snagged underneath. The juddering stops as I brake, jerking forward as the car screeches to a halt. I twist round, but there’s no one nearby. In the rear-view mirror I can see Lenny standing motionless in the road behind me.
There’s no sign of Jules.
The engine chugs softly. I look over at the passenger side. The seatbelt is trapped in the door, unspooled and twisted like a miniature noose. When I reach over and open it, the belt snakes sluggishly back inside as it tries to rewind. But the mechanism’s damaged and it soon stops. I stare at the frayed fabric, thinking about Jules groping for me across the seat. How he banged on the window as I sped off.
Leaving the engine running, I climb out of the car.
Lenny is staring down at something lying in the gutter. It isn’t moving, and in the glow from a streetlight I can see the back-to-front wrongness of its limbs. Something black and viscous pools around it, glistening like oil. Any doubts I might have are snuffed by Lenny’s lack of urgency. I automatically take a step forward but stop when he raises his head and looks at me. He’s still holding the baseball bat, and I back away as he starts walking towards me with a deliberation that’s chilling. The driver’s door bumps against my legs, then I’m scrambling into the car and grinding through the gears.
As I roar away, I glance in the rear-view mirror. Lenny has stopped in the middle of the road. My last view is of him staring after me, the baseball bat still gripped in one hand.