There was a pause, and then his warm laughter filled the orchard. “Sleeping together? Oh, you really have made my night. That’s not fair. Not fair at all.”
I blushed furiously in the dark. “You’ll one-up Aeson. He’ll think I’m willingly giving you what he tried to take by force.”
“And all the while, I’ll actually be getting nothing except tantalizing glimpses of you in outfits like this.”
“I’ll cover up more if it makes a difference.”
“What would make a difference is if you were sleeping with me for real.”
“That’s not fair either. Not for a few magic lessons.”
“‘A few’?” He laughed again, his voice carrying the kind of incredulity that seemed to amuse rather than upset him. Jesus. Did nothing bother this guy? “My dear, it’s going to take more than ‘a few’ lessons to quell that storm in you, pun intended. Especially with your temper. It’s going to make focus hard.”
I felt indignant. “Hey, I’ve been focusing since I was a kid. I can clear my mind in the middle of a fight to banish spirits. I go to trance in seconds.”
“Perhaps,” he conceded grudgingly. “But I’m still not sure this is fair. You’ll be getting more than lessons. Assuming you are my ‘lover,’ people will be hesitant to assault you. You’ll find your status soaring.”
“Christ. Nothing gets past you, does it? Apparently Volusian and I have a lot more to learn about subterfuge too.”
“Who?”
“My servant.”
“Ah. The sullen one with red eyes?”
“Yes.”
He made a disapproving click with his tongue. “He’s both dangerous and powerful. You’re brave to keep him.”
“I know. I couldn’t send him to the Underworld, so I bound him to me.”
“If I helped you, we could probably send him on.”
The thought astonished me. With Volusian securely in the world of death, I’d probably be a lot safer.
As though reading my mind, Dorian added, “Things will get nasty if he ever breaks loose on you.”
“I know. He tells me on a regular basis-in graphic detail. Still…he’s been useful. I think I’ll keep him around for a while.”
We sat quietly in the darkness again. I realized it must be getting past the castle’s dinner hour. Part of the reason for showing up at this time had been to get invited to dinner. With gentry pride in hospitality, Volusian had thought it would please Dorian to show off his resources, especially since being half-gentry meant I could safely eat in this world now. Finally, a legitimate perk to all this insanity. I half-smiled imagining a hall full of hungry gentry, pounding their silverware on the table. With the way everyone danced around Dorian’s moods, however, I had no doubt they’d wait hours if need be.
“If you’re going to pretend to be my lover, it will involve more than just say-so. You’ve seen how free we are with our affections in public. If you keep ten feet away from me, no one’s going to believe it.”
I froze, suddenly remembering that other dinner. I hadn’t entirely considered the implications.
He chuckled softly, a low and dangerous sound beside me. “Oh, yes, you didn’t think about that, did you?”
He was right. I’d figured Dorian and me disappearing into his bedroom for lessons would be convincing enough. But now I had to picture sitting on his lap, letting him touch me and kiss me. I had trouble with the image. He was one of the gentry, the beings I’d hitherto kept a wary eye on and tracked down my whole life. Discovering Kiyo’s true nature had been a shock to my system, one I was slowly starting to reconcile. How could I handle someone who was completely of the Otherworld?
Yet…the more I hung around Dorian, the easier it became to think of him as just a person. Weird or not, there was something comfortable about being with him. So, yeah. I could handle this. Maybe. It was just a little making out, right? It wasn’t sex. And wasn’t it a small thing to ensure I didn’t tear anyone else apart inadvertently?
“I’m not going down on you or anything,” I warned, using flippancy to cover my discomfort.
He laughed again. “As saddening as that is, it might actually be too much. You’re human enough that they’ll expect some modesty.”
Small blessings. “All right. I’ll hold up my half if you hold up your half.”
“Well, in distribution, I think I’m actually doing three-quarters of the work here. But yes, I’ll do the same. Shall we shake on it? Isn’t that how you humans seal a deal?”
I extended my hand in the darkness, and he took it. Suddenly, he pulled me to him and kissed me. I immediately pulled back, aghast.
“Hey!”
“What? You don’t expect to have our first kiss in public, do you? We want to be convincing, remember?”
“You’re a sleazy bastard, you know that?”
“If you truly believe that, then maybe you’ll feel better finding another teacher.”
I thought about that. Then I leaned forward and tried to find his lips in the darkness. I didn’t realize I was shaking until his hands gripped my arms.
“Relax, Eugenie. This won’t hurt.”
I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Our lips found each other. His reminded me of flower petals, soft and velvety. Whereas Kiyo was all about animal passion and aggression, Dorian seemed more about…precision. I suddenly remembered his metaphor about the difference between slapping paint on a canvas and fine brushstrokes.
Don’t get me wrong, Dorian wasn’t exactly sweet and chaste. There was heat in those soft lips. He seemed to want to draw out the experience, almost in a taunting way, so much so that I found myself impatient and eager when his tongue finally darted in between my lips. He pushed it farther into my mouth, the rest of the kiss intensifying. He smelled like cinnamon and cider, like all the good things in an autumn night. Finally, he pulled away.
“You’re still afraid of me,” he noted, amused by that fact just like everything else. “Your body still won’t relax.”
“Yes.” I swallowed. It had felt good, the kind of good that sends heat down your body and makes your toes-and other parts-curl. But my fear had underscored it all, that fear of gentry and otherness that I still couldn’t quite shake. It was a weird combination, physical pleasure mingling with fear. Very different from the way it was with Kiyo-physical pleasure mixed with a larger, all-encompassing sense of chemistry and mutual affection, despite my unease over his half-kitsune heritage. “I can’t help it. This is all still strange for me. Part of me says it’s wrong. It’s hard to change what I’ve always believed overnight, you know.”
“Do you want to go back on the deal?”
I shook my head. “I don’t go back on my deals.”
I could feel him smiling in the darkness. He leaned over and kissed me again.
Chapter Seventeen
To his credit, he didn’t really manhandle me too badly that night. At dinner, he kept a hand on mine or an arm around my shoulder but little more than that. As he pointed out to me in a quiet moment, anyone could make a brazen display of fleshiness. What really indicated intimacy was how two people interacted with each other, what their body language said. So I worked on looking comfortable and happy in his presence, and from the shocked expressions on people’s faces, we must have done a pretty convincing job.
He took me to his bedroom after that, looking smug and presumptuous to those watching. But when we got there, he actually gave me my first lesson. Honestly, it was a bit disappointing. I’d been ready for fireworks. What I got was a lot of practice on quiet meditation and focus. He claimed if I couldn’t control my own mind, I couldn’t control the power.
So I spent the next couple hours with him working on this and found my most difficult challenge was in not slipping into trance or astral travel. Those behaviors came so automatically to me in still moments that I kept lapsing. The kind of meditation he wanted me to do involved turning my senses outward rather than inward, which seemed strange to me since I had thought magic came from within.