Chapter 24
Madison
J arrived home after ten that night. I had been sleeping on and off, on the couch, waiting for him. He came into the house and headed straight into the bedroom. I waited silently for him to come back out; I had absolutely no idea where tonight’s conversation was headed.
“You’ve had dinner?” he said, as he came back into the lounge room.
“Yeah. I made you some if you haven’t eaten.”
He smiled at me, and I let that settle over me, and wrap itself around my heart. If we were going to get anywhere tonight, I would need to keep a hold of that. I feared we were in for another tense discussion.
“Thanks, baby. I ate with the boys, so I’ll put it in the fridge for tomorrow,” he said, as he went to the kitchen to take care of it.
I got up and followed him; the need to be near him overwhelming. He turned to me when he heard me enter the kitchen behind him. I stepped into his space, and wrapped my arms around him, inhaling his scent and brushing his neck with my lips.
A groan escaped his lips, and his arms encircled me too. He bent to lay a kiss on my head, and then he murmured, “I was so worried about you yesterday, and relieved when I found out you were okay. But babe, you scared the fuck out of me by drinking.”
I pulled away a little bit so that I could look into his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I think I scared myself too, and I’m so ashamed,” I admitted.
He reached his hand out to my chin, and held it gently; tenderly. “Don’t be ashamed. Okay? You need to move past this and that won’t help you. It was a bad day, and yeah, you didn’t handle it the best. But babe, we all have days like that. It’s how you handle it now, and the next time it happens, that counts. And, I need you to know that I am here for you. I want to be the person you turn to when shit gets real. Can you let me be that for you?”
The tears started falling, and I was helpless to stop them. I nodded, struggling to speak. Finally, the words came. “I thought you were going to leave me,” I said, quietly.
Pain flashed in his eyes. “Fuck, babe. No, that thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Yeah, I was mad as hell at you, but this, what we’ve got here...this is for-fucking-ever. I love you no matter what you do. It’s unconditional for me.”
I sagged against him at those words; that promise. He would never know how much I needed to hear that, right now. “Thank you.”
“We’re going to have a lot more fights. You know that, right?” he said.
I smiled. “Yeah, I’ve worked that out.”
“So we need to agree right fucking now that this is forever, that we’re on the same page here. Are you in this for the long haul?”
I touched my hand to his cheek and let it linger there. “Yes, I am. I love you. Unconditionally.”
He bowed his head and breathed hard for a moment. Then he looked back up at me. The love I saw there smacked into me, and I felt winded momentarily. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that,” he said, his voice full of raw emotion.
“Oh, I think I might, baby. I needed it tonight too.”
He took my hand and kissed it, softly. “We’ve got a lot more to talk through, but for now, I just want to take you to bed and show you how much I love you.”
I smiled, and let him lead me to the bedroom. As we walked, I started peeling clothes off, leaving them throughout the house. When we made it to the bedroom, he turned and ran his gaze over my naked body. I watched as his eyes glazed over with desire, my nipples hardening under his stare.
He reached his hand out to trace a line from my lips, down my neck, and to my breast. As his fingers found my nipple, he brought his mouth down to meet it and licked and sucked my breasts, one at a time. His other hand came up, so that both of them were massaging my breasts, while his tongue drove me wild.
I moved my hands to lift his shirt over his head, and he stopped what he was doing to allow this. Once it was off, I quickly reached to undo his jeans, and remove them too. My breathing picked up, and my fingers ached with a need to touch, to feel, and to show him how much I wanted him.
He stood before me, naked; fucking beautiful. There wasn’t anything about J’s body that I would change. I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart, and held it there while I focused my eyes on his. The invisible thread that held us together sizzled with desire; with white hot lust. But tonight, it held something more; a burning love that had been buried under layers of doubt, guilt and hurt. Tonight it shone brightly; we had finally found our way through, and peeled away those layers by committing completely to each other. We had promised forever, and those words had exposed the raw love that existed between us.
J felt it too. I could see it in the way he looked at me. Hunger for this man engulfed me. I moved my hand up to curl around his neck, and pulled his mouth down to mine. Our kiss was deep and full of need. His hand snaked around my waist and pulled me to him. I moaned when his erection hit my body. God, I loved his cock.
“I need to taste you, baby. Need my tongue in that sweet pussy of yours,” he murmured into my ear, while backing me up against the wall.
I didn’t argue as he knelt in front of me and spread my legs. When his tongue hit my clit, I scrunched my fingers in his hair, and cried out with pleasure. He grunted his satisfaction, and slid his tongue down and into my pussy. Oh, holy fuck, it felt divine. His hands moved slowly up the backs of my legs until they hit my ass. He kneaded my bottom, while his tongue continued to lick and stroke my sex.
Pleasure moved through me until my whole body was alive with it. When he began to fuck me with his fingers, I knew it wouldn’t be long until I came. The pleasure intensified and built, until it crashed all around me, and I came with his mouth wrapped around my pussy.
My hands were still in his hair, and I pulled him up to me, to kiss him. I needed his tongue in my mouth now. And the taste of me in his mouth only made me want him more. I groaned into his mouth, and pushed my body closer into his. My arms were wound tight around him, fingers clawing his back. One leg was wound around one of his, and all of a sudden, he gripped my ass and lifted me, carrying me to the bed.
As I fell to the bed, he leaned over me and smiled. “Fuck, I love fucking you. But tonight I want to make love.”
I shook my head, and trailed a finger down his chest. “No, baby. Fucking is our way of making love. I want you to fuck me.” And with that, I reached down to his cock, gripped it hard and pulled him to me.
“Fuck!” he roared, and thrust in. Hard; just the way I liked it.
A deliciously wicked grin flashed across my face, and then our lips were locked while he fucked me just like I’d asked him to.
Chapter 25
Madison
I started going to regular AA meetings again. J insisted, but I had already decided it would be an important part of my life from now on. I think I had fooled myself into believing I was better than everyone at those meetings; that somehow I didn’t really need to be there.
It was now a month after my relapse and things between J and I were good. I was worried though; there was something bothering him and he wasn’t talking to me about it. We’d had the discussion about his refusal to share club business with me, and he had been sharing more with me since. Even though I sensed he still didn’t tell me a lot, I knew he was trying, and that was all I could ask for. Strong relationships weren’t built quickly; I knew this would take a lot of work, so I was being patient. And yet, I felt it in my gut that something wasn’t quite right with him.