“I mean not common for Latin. I had to look through a couple of dictionaries before I found one that had it.”
“So what does it mean?”
She pointed to a spot on the page.
I read, “Yconomus. A ‘guardian.’”
I looked at her and added, “What the hell does that mean?”
“Put it together like it was English. These guardians obediently protect us from the gates of hell.”
I let the concept roll around in my head for a few seconds. “So SYLO thinks they’re protecting the world from falling through the gates of hell?”
“Or guarding the gates of hell so they don’t open up.”
“Bull,” I snapped. “You don’t protect people by imprisoning them and killing them.”
“Unless they were guarding against something even worse,” Tori countered.
“Are you serious?” I asked, incredulous. “They chased us down. Granger tried to kill us. He killed your father. How is that justified?”
“I don’t know,” Tori cried, shaking with emotion. “But there has to be some explanation for what’s happening. Feit said SYLO was putting us on a road to destruction. Do we believe that?”
“From what I’ve seen? Sure.”
“Feit’s a liar!”
“They’re murderers, Tori. Did you forget how they strafed the rebel camp? And then tried to incinerate us with a flamethrower?”
“Feit said half of the rebels were his infiltrators.”
“They shot you, Tori. Let me say that again. They… shot… you. What is it about any of this that makes you think they were trying to protect us?”
“Because they didn’t wipe out three-quarters of the world’s population.”
“Okay, so they’re less bad than the Air Force. Good for them.”
“What if SYLO knew what the Air Force was planning? What if they took over Pemberwick Island to protect it?”
“Protect it?” I shouted. “By cutting us off from the outside world and killing people who tried to leave? That’s not exactly heroic.”
“But the Navy was shooting the black planes out of the sky.”
“Sure they were,” I countered. “SYLO set up a base on Pemberwick. They were protecting their own butts. The Air Force wasn’t attacking a bunch of lobstermen and rich yacht people, they were going after SYLO. SYLO brought the war to our door.”
“Yeah, and the Air Force brought it everywhere else. It was the Air Force that killed Quinn, remember?”
“Because SYLO brought them to the island. Those robot planes might have done the deed, but SYLO was just as guilty. They’re all guilty.”
We were getting nowhere.
“I’m not sticking up for the Air Force,” I said. “Or whoever is commanding them. But I’m not letting SYLO off the hook. Or Granger. You may be able to put all that aside, but I can’t.”
“Granger’s dead,” Tori said flatly.
“Yeah. Granger’s dead. I hope.”
We both backed off to take a breath and cool down. “I’m going to Nevada tomorrow,” Tori declared. “If you want revenge as much as you say, you’ll come with me.”
“Check with me in the morning.”
Tori stared at me for a good long time, as if debating whether or not to say something.
“What?” I asked.
“I need you, Tucker,” she finally said. “I’ve never said that to anybody before. Not even my father. I can’t imagine going on without you.”
It was exactly what I wanted to hear… and the last thing I needed to know.
“I love you, Tori,” I replied.
I don’t know why I said that. It just came out. Maybe it was because I wanted to avoid going down the road she had just put us on. It was a road that would mean a commitment for us to stay together. That was a promise I couldn’t make. Or maybe it was because I meant it, because I did. I loved Tori, though I didn’t know what kind of love it was. She had become my closest friend in the world. I would do anything for her. I guess I wanted her to know that.
She leaned over and gave me a hug. It wasn’t all romantic or anything. It was more of a way to show how close we were. It felt good.
“I love you too,” she said. “I’ve never said that to anybody either.”
With that, she backed off and left me to wrestle with my own confused feelings. I wished I could say that I wanted nothing more than to be together with Tori. After all we had been through, we had developed a bond that went beyond friendship. Maybe even beyond love. We owed our lives to each other. If not for Tori, I wouldn’t have survived. It’s as simple as that. She could say the same thing about me. We may have argued and disagreed, and having Olivia as a wild card in the mix didn’t make things any easier, but the bottom line was that ever since things starting to hit the fan on Pemberwick Island, we took care of each other. In spite of her occasional anger and disappointment in me, I fully believed that she couldn’t imagine going on without me.
I felt the same way, except that I did have to imagine going on without her. I wanted us to stay together, but there was something I wanted even more, and if I truly loved her, I was going to have to betray her to get it.
I looked back at the dictionary and the entry for yconomus. A guardian. I didn’t buy that SYLO was guarding anything but their own skins, but Tori’s thinking wasn’t entirely wrong. SYLO was guarding Pemberwick Island. I’d bet they were guarding Fort Knox too, based on the Air Force wrecks outside the base. The question was why? Why did this war happen in the first place? What was truly at stake?
As I sat there in the dark, I felt more certain than ever that I was about to make the right move. I was tired of guessing and speculating and wondering. I wanted answers.
And I wanted revenge.
The one thing I didn’t want was to put Tori and the others in danger. I couldn’t live with that. I had to hope that they would understand. That Tori would understand.
I joined the others in the children’s section of the library. Everyone was lying on the floor, having fixed small nests of pillows. Kent was already snoring. Jon was reading a book. Olivia had her eyes closed, but she was humming a sweet song that I didn’t recognize. Tori lay with her back to the wall. I didn’t think for a second that she was asleep.
I grabbed a few cushions and found an empty spot near the door that led back to the lobby. I sat down and made myself comfortable… but not too comfortable. I didn’t want to fall asleep.
After about an hour, Jon turned off his headlamp. I waited another fifteen minutes, then I stood and walked quietly through the room, hovering over each of my friends, trying to see if they were asleep. Kent was sawing wood. Olivia had stopped singing and was lying with her mouth open and drooling. Yes, even hot girls drooled.
Jon was breathing heavily. I padded softly to Tori and took a big chance.
“Tori?” I whispered.
She didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure what I would have said if she’d rolled over and answered me.
“I’m sorry” were my last words to her.
With everyone asleep, I had my chance. I walked quickly back to the area where I had been lying and put on my hoodie and cross-trainers. I thought about grabbing my gear bag but decided I wouldn’t need it. There was something else I needed much more. I padded back to Tori and gently picked up her gym bag. After backing away a few steps, I reached inside and rooted around until I found the gun. I pulled it out and carefully returned the bag. Quickly, I backed out of the room and into the lobby. There would be no turning back. I was committed. The next minute was crucial. I had to get out of there without the others knowing. I hurried through the lobby and pushed open the front door of the library as quietly as possible. After slipping outside, I gently eased the door shut until I heard the faint click of the lock. As soon as I heard it, I realized I had made a potentially fatal mistake: I didn’t have the keys to the Explorer. How could I have been so stupid? I wasn’t even sure where Kent kept them. If they were in his pocket and he was wearing his jeans, I was done.