“That’s what you call a good secret. Your sister, Louise, wants you to be surprised, so she doesn’t tell you. A good secret. Do you understand?”
“A little.”
“See? I told you, you are smart.”
Her smile widened.
“Sarah, bad secrets are when people do bad things to you… then tell you not to tell anyone. Those bad secrets… those secrets you can tell. Those secrets youshouldtell. Especially to me or to Officer Decker because we’re the police. You can tell a police officer those secrets.”
“They said not to tell the police.”
“Theytold you not to tell?”
Both the Loo and I were doing some quick reassessments.
I said, “There was more than one boy who told you not to tell?”
Sarah said yes.
Decker said, “Those boys… Sarah, look at me.”
She lifted her face and glanced at my father. He said, “Those boys are very bad boys. I don’t like those boys.”
“I don’t like them, too,” Sarah said. “They hurt me.”
“I’ll bet they did,” Decker said. “Where on your body did they hurt you?”
Louise looked away, but I could see the tears in her eyes. But Sarah talked calmly about it. “On my bottom… They hurt me on my bottom.”
Dad looked at me to continue, but I gave him a slight shake of the head. This was too important for me to ruin. He said, “Did they put things in your bottom?”
Tears rolled down her cheek as she whispered yes.
“I told you they were bad boys,” Decker said. “They were very bad to do that to you. What kind of things did they put in your bottom?”
She didn’t answer, her eyes squeezed tightly.
“Was it sex? Like the drawings that they showed you in school?” he asked her. “Did they put the boy’s thing in you? You know what I mean… the thing that makes a boy a boy?”
She turned away.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Decker said. “You don’t have to talk. Just nod.”
She nodded.
“Where in your bottom did they put it?” Dad paused. “Did they put it where you poop or where you pee?”
Sarah said, “Where I pee.”
“Those boys…,” I said. “They did sex with you.”
“I didn’t like it at all. It hurt!”
“I’m sure it did.”
“It hurt like when the baby came out.”
“I understand.”
“Not like with David.” She covered her mouth and abruptly giggled behind her fingers. “Oops.”
Decker and I exchanged glances. I said, “David was your boyfriend, right?”
She sighed. “He went away.”
“But he went to your school before he went away?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know any David,” Louise told us. “What’s his last name, Sarah?”
She shrugged.
“We’ll find out,” my father whispered to her. “So… you had sex with David. But it was good sex, right?”
“Well, I didn’t like that sex, either. But David was my boyfriend. It’s okay with your boyfriend.”
I was trying to organize my thoughts. Two things appeared to be going on-consensual sex with David and then maybe an incident that could have been a gang rape. “Do you know why David went away?”
She nodded. “Because they put him in the trash can.”
Again I exchanged looks with my father.
Decker scratched his head. “Tell me about that. When they put David in the trash can.”
“They told me not to tell anyone. They said that if I told a policeman, they would kill me.”
I said, “The bad boys arenotgoing to hurt you!”
“You can’t be sure of that!” Louise spoke up.
Decker said, “Ms. Sanders, why don’t we try to figure out what happened first. Then you can decide how you want Sarah to help.”
Giving her the choice, empowering her. My father’s skills were amazing. Louise told him to go ahead.
He said, “Sarah, I want you to tell me what happened. Because that’s what you have to do.” He tried to make eye contact with her. “You’re a big girl now, Sarah. You had a big, strong baby because you’re a big, strong girl. So you can do this. You can tell me what happened. How did David get into the trash can?”
She started shaking her knee-up and down, and up and down. “We were in the park.”
“Who was in the park?”
“David and me.”
“When?”
“Long time ago. Before David went away.”
“Like… last year?”
A shrug. “Maybe six months.”
“Okay. You were in the park with David,” I said. “Which park? MacFerren Park?”
She nodded.
Decker said, “Good. Now tell me what happened in the park.”
“I was supposed to go home right after school. But I didn’t.”
“I know. You didn’t go home. You didn’t listen to your sister.” Decker looked at Louise. “But Louise isn’t mad at you… right?”
In fact, Louise was furious. But she toed the line, even though she spoke through clenched teeth. “No, Sarah, I’mnotmad.”
Dad’s smile was endearing. “See? She’s not mad. Tell me about the park.”
“They came over.”
Dad looked at me, signaling with his eyes for me to continue. I said, “Who came over?”
“The bad boys.”
“Sarah, do you remember how many bad boys there were?”
“Three or four.”
“Three or four,” I repeated. “So they came over to you and David?”
“Yes.”
“And where were you in MacFerren Park when the bad boys came over to you?” Empty eyes regarded my face. “Were you by a tree, or sitting on a bench, or-”
“In the bathroom.”
“Oh, okay. You and David were in the bathroom together?”
She blushed.
“Were you having sex with David in the bathroom?” I asked.
“No… just… you know…” She smiled and made chirps with pursed lips.
“You two were kissing?” I asked.
“Yeah… we were kissing.”
“Then what happened?”
“The bad boys came in.”
“Did the bad boys say anything to you?”
“Bad words.”
“What kind of bad words?”
She looked down. “The F-word.”
“I see.” My brain was scrambling for the right order to ask my questions. “And after they said the words, what happened?”
“They hit David hard. His nose was bleeding-”
“My God!” exhaled Louise. She turned away and put her fingers over her mouth. “This is…”
“Am I doing something bad, Louise?”
“No.” She smiled and wiped her eyes. “No, you’re doing something good. You’re doing the right thing. Go on, Sarah. Tell them what happened.”
Sarah dropped her head. “They put him in the trash can. He didn’t like it. He was yelling. But then they turned the can upside down”-she closed her eyes-“and one of them sat on it, so David was stuck inside. And every time he yelled, the boy would kick the trash can hard and tell him to shut up.”
She was flinching as she related the incident. I said, “And after David was put in the trash can, what happened next?”
Her voice was as soft as new snow. “They pushed me down and tore my underpants. Then… the first one did it… the sex. It hurt real bad. I wanted to yell for him not to do it, but I didn’t want to make him mad… because when David yelled, it made them all mad. I didn’t want my nose to bleed. So I closed my eyes and didn’t say anything.”
“That was very smart,” Decker said. “See, I told you, you were smart.”
Her chin was pressed against her chest, her eyes still shut.
Decker said, “Do you remember how many boys had sex with you?”
Slowly, she held up two fingers.
“Two boys had sex with you.”
She held up three fingers.
Louise blanched. I took her hand and squeezed it. Dad said, “Three boys?”
She nodded.
“Okay, Sarah. Now this is very important. What happened after they were done with the sex?”