Streets of Gold

Rebecca despised them.

ANDREWS BIRTHDAY, 1965

So this is your birthday, huh, Andy Boy?
Well, let’s hope it’s full of joy!
Everything bright and everything merry,
Everything just like a bowl full of cherries!
That’s our wish for you today.

Sweet sixteen is the happiest day,
I’ll bet you kiss all the girls today.
X is for xylophone, like in Daddy’s band
That’s the sweetest quintet in all of the land.
Everything you do should make him proud,
Even your mother should cheer out loud.
Now shout “Happy Birthday!” everyone in the crowd.

STELLA: He doesn’t have a xylophone in the band.

JIMMY: I couldn’t think of a word starting with X, Stella.

STELLA: Still, it don’t make sense if that isn’t what he has in his band, Ike, do you remember Goomah Katie in Newark, New Jersey? Her grandson got appointed principal of a high school.

SETH: You should get yourself a new tax lawyer, Ike. There are new gimmicks coming up every day, of the week, and that kahker you’ve got working for you is straight out of Charles Dickens. You know those jazz books you wrote? Did you know you can donate the manuscripts to a university library and get a big deduction?

DAVINA: Let me tell you what happened Friday. I got on the subway at Fifty-ninth and Lex, and this little Puerto Rican started, well, feeling me up, and I. . .

SOPHIE: You should have slapped his face for him!

DAVINA: No, what I did was reach behind me and take his hand in mine. I held it all the way downtown.

ABE: He probably thought you were falling in love with him, darling.

DAVINA: At least it stopped him.

JIMMY: Anyone want to play cards? Abe? Some poker?

SOPHIE: It’s chilly in here. Do you find it chilly in here?

PASSOVER, 1966

Pray for us, Christians and Jews together,
And help us get through this stormy weather.
Sophie’s passed on, we miss her bright laughter.
Sophie, dear loved one, rest well ever after.
On this day we praise God, and we offer him prayers,
Victims of grief, we must still be his heirs.
Ever respectful, even in strife,
Ready to face the rest of our life.

ABE: Well, frankly, Ike, I don’t know what Becky’s so upset about. I figured with Sophie dead, may she rest in peace, if anything should happen to me...

ME: I understand that, Pop. But Davina says you drew up a new will, is that right?

ABE: That’s right.

ME: And you’ve left everything to her.

ABE: Well, yes. What’s the matter with that? Seth isn’t a millionaire, you know. I figure you’ve taken good care of Becky, chas vesholem anything should happen to you. And I know you’ve got trust funds set up for the kids...

ME: Pop, that isn’t the point.

ABE: Then what’s the point? I think I’m missing the point.

ME: The point is you’re hurting Rebecca.

ABE: You’re making this up.

ME: Why would I make it up?

ABE: How do I know? Maybe you want the money.

ME: Pop, you can shove the money up your ass, for all I care. I’m talking about the fact that you have two daughters, and you’re hurting one of them by leaving everything you’ve got to the other one, to Davina.

ABE: Davina should have kept her mouth shut. I told her in private, and now she’s causing trouble.

ME: Pop, you’re the one causing trouble. Why don’t you change the will?

ABE: If it means that much to Becky, I’ll change it already. I don’t know why it should mean so much to her. She’s got plenty. You got plenty, the two of you together.

ME: Shall I tell her you’ll change it?

ABE: It’s not even that much money. What do you think it is, a fortune? It’s a couple of thousand dollars, that’s all.

ME: Shall I tell her?

ABE: Tell her, tell her.

ME: When will you change it?

ABE: I’ll get around to it.

MOTHER’S DAY, 1967

Mother’s Day wishes to the women here,
On this special day, we hold them all dear.
Though Davina gets to do the dishes,
Here’s extending her, too, the best of wishes.
Eldest among us is dear Grandma Tess;
Regards to you, Grandma, we wish you the best.
Son Ike has his family, Rebecca’s the mother.

Dear Becky, like you he won’t find another.
And so let’s thank God for another good year.
Yes, drink, and be merry, and be of good cheer.

JIMMY: Seth? Some cards? A little pinochle?

STELLA: Never you mind! This is Mother’s Day. The men are supposed to do the dishes. Am I right, Rebecca?

DAVINA: Where’s Harriet today? Did you give her the day off?

STELLA: Certainly. Harriet’s a mother, too, right, Rebecca? We’re all entitled to the day off.

SETH: Davina’s not a mother. Let her do the dishes. Like Jimmy said in the poem.

JIMMY: Well, what’s new, Ike? Anything new? Any new records or anything?

GRANDPA: Ike, play something for us. Come on, give us a little tune on the piano. You never play for just the family no more.

ME: Grandpa?

GRANDPA: Sì, Ignazio?

ME: Are you all right?

GRANDPA: Sì.

ME: Grandpa?

GRANDPA: That was nice of your father. To mention Tessie. In the poem.

SETH: What is it? Is the old man crying?

DAVINA: Rebecca, have you got a minute?

REBECCA: Sure. What’s the matter?

DAVINA: Come upstairs, okay?

JIMMY: Seth? Some cards? Stella, I put a new deck of cards in your purse.

STELLA: He’s crippled, your father. Get them yourself!

REBECCA: What is it?

DAVINA: Why didn’t you invite Daddy here today?

REBECCA: I did invite him.

DAVINA: But you told him not to bring Donna.

REBECCA: I told him nothing of the sort.

DAVINA: Then what did he do, invent it? You know, Rebecca, for someone who’s intermarried herself...

REBECCA: I have nothing against Donna.

DAVINA: Then why can’t he bring her here?

REBECCA: I didn’t say he couldn’t bring her here.