The sexy smirk he gives me makes my pulse spike. “I used it,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Well alrighty then,” I reply as I shut the door. After staring down at the toothbrush for a few seconds, I put some toothpaste on it and slide it into my mouth. I don’t know why but for whatever reason, sharing a toothbrush with him feels really intimate. I haven’t slept in a bed with a man since Ricky—and let’s face it, he was no man. Ricky was an immature little punk, nothing more than a stupid boy. Exton Alexander is a man who has now slept in my bed, and used my toothbrush.
I barely know how to process all of this.
Sitting on the sand at Point Dume in Malibu with Exton, I’m enjoying the smell of the ocean and the canyon that surrounds us. There’s a magical feeling here, something I never experienced while living in Small Towne. It was Exton’s idea to come out here and have In n’ Out burgers for dinner, and I loved it. He surprises me, there’s no two ways about it. With his face obscured by a Hart International baseball cap, he hasn’t even been noticed by anyone.
He’s way more tactile than I would’ve thought. Right now he’s seated behind me and I’m reclining back on him. He’s got his arms wrapped around my shoulders and I’m surprisingly relaxed, all things considered.
“I need to ask you a question,” he murmurs.
Oh God . . . what is he about to throw at me? Swallowing past a lump of anxiety in my throat, I nod.
“I know you’re not ready right now, and I understand that. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since last night. I won’t push, but someday will you tell me what happened that hurt you so badly?”
Tensing against him, I weigh my response. I don’t talk about what happened with Ricky, ever. It’s just so embarrassing. Exton has been wonderful but who knows if we’ll know each other long enough for me to feel secure in sharing the entire pathetic story. I have to be realistic—I still can’t really believe that anything real will come of it. But, if it does, then yes—I would have to share the story with him.
Nodding my head I answer, “If this goes anywhere, then yes. I just need time.”
He sighs as he hugs me tightly from behind. “This is going somewhere, Arden. You’re not ready to accept that and I get it, but whenever you say something like that, I’m always going to remind you of the truth.”
I’m thankful that I’m facing away from him because it means he can’t see the silly hopeful smile that spreads across my face.
We were together the entire weekend, but he didn’t spend the night again. Over the course of the past thirteen days we’ve spent as much time together as possible—even when I’ve tried to say that we could probably use some space. Whenever I say that, Exton shakes his head at me like he knows something that I don’t.
Every day I wonder if he’ll start putting at least a little bit of distance between us, but he hasn’t. Instead he makes plans for us to spend more time together, and I let him. He’s just always there, and I like it. I crave hearing from him and light up when I hear the text alert and see that it’s from him. And the kissing—there’s nothing like it. I love his filthy mouth and the shocking things that he says and does with it, and I’m ready to do more. He’s been going at my speed, but I think that we both know that I’m there—ready to go.
Sabrina has been loaded with questions about how serious this is, but I’ve been really vague with my answers and, bless her heart, she’s been letting me get away with it. She says that seeing the smile on my face is all the info she needs to know for right now.
I want so badly to believe that there is something real happening with Exton and me, but I can never forget the humiliation I felt after being stupid enough to believe Ricky’s lies. I’m doing my best to keep some kind of a wall around my heart so that I don’t get hurt again, but I’m aware that I’m doing a shit job. Deep down I want Exton to prove me wrong, to be the man he seems to be, but I’m scared. I’d be a fool if I weren’t.
Another sign that I’m in deep is that I buckled and gave in to his repeated requests for me to go to the soft open of Laz’s restaurant with him. Up until now I’ve refused to go anywhere really public with him for fear of running into some paparazzi. Tonight I know there will be dozens and dozens of people there that I don’t know and who will probably judge me and find me wanting, and I’m freaked out. No matter what Exton says I am not even in the same zip code as his normal arm candy and that’s scarier than I care to think about.
Turning this way and that, I survey myself in the mirror. Sabrina and I left work early yesterday and spent two hours shopping so that I could pick out something fabulous for tonight, and thank god she was there for me because Exton was no help. When I asked him what I should wear he told me that I’d look gorgeous in a pair of sweatpants and a ripped tee and that he didn’t want me to stress out or go to any trouble to get something new because whatever I wanted to wear was fine with him. When I shared the story with Sabrina, she laughed and told me that men never really grasp how important clothing is to women. When Exton found out we were going shopping he immediately offered up his credit card. I’m proud of him for knowing when to back down because the second the words came out of his mouth and I turned on him like a wild animal, he threw his hands up and surrendered before apologizing profusely.
I’m really glad Sabrina took me by the hand and went shopping with me. If she hadn’t been able to come, I wouldn’t have been as daring as I was in my choice. Having her tell me I looked like a sexy bitch gave me the courage to buy a short black dress that hugs my curves without making me look like I’m about to burst out like a container of biscuit dough. The front shows a bit of cleavage but not enough to look slutty, and the back is completely open down to my waist. My cleavage is taped into this dress like you wouldn’t believe, but even I have to admit that it looks hot.
Letting out a sound of excitement as the doorbell rings I slip into the silver heels that I bought to complement the dress and hurry for the door. Swinging it open I stop dead and completely lose every thought in my head as I take in how ridiculously sexy Exton looks in a three-piece suit.
“Turn around,” he growls hotly.
Without a word, I do as he instructs.
“Holy hot fuck,” he says huskily as he steps in and kicks the door shut behind him. Before I can say a word he’s got his hands on me as he pulls me into him and starts kissing me like we haven’t seen each other in months.
Sliding my fingers into his hair I melt into him and kiss him back just as desperately. I’m unable to contain my moan of pure pleasure when he starts running his hands up and down the length of my naked back.
I groan when he pulls away, staring up at him as he looks down at me with fire in his eyes. The only sound is that of our breathing, both hot and heavy.
“If we don’t leave right now,” he murmurs, “I’m going to have you up against this wall and I won’t stop until you’ve come so many times that you can’t bear the idea of having even one more moment of pleasure. I’ve never in my life wanted anyone the way I want you, Beautiful. You bring me to my fucking knees.”
I let out a strangled sound at his words—a mix of pleasure and sexual frustration. I want him to take me up against this wall, and that’s not something I’ve ever wanted before. This is really happening—I want this man. Badly.
“Tell me if I’ve read the signs wrong, because you know I will never push you to take it to this level before you’re ready. Is it too soon, Beautiful? I want you so fucking bad that I can’t think of anything else. Are you going to let me into that tight pussy or am I jumping the gun? The choice is always yours.”
“I’m ready,” I answer huskily. I’m more than ready. I wish he’d take me now.