“Car’s ready, baby. Let’s go.”
After saying our final goodbyes we head for Exton’s car hand in hand. The second the door to the restaurant swings open for us to step out, the camera flashes start going off and questions are shouted.
“Exton! Exton! Look over here!”
“Tell us who you’re with!”
“Who are you?”
“Look this way!”
Coming to a halt, Exton squeezes my hand as he faces the photographers.
“Come on guys,” he laughs affably. “No need to yell at my girlfriend—”
The very instant the word girlfriend leaves his lips, they go from just interested to rabidly obsessed with getting details. If I thought the flashes and questions were overwhelming before, I had no clue. Now they’re all yelling over each other and all I can really hear is “Girlfriend,” over and over again.
Honestly, they’re as shocked as I am. Who said anything about being his girlfriend? We never discussed that at all! I can tell that he’s very aware of the fact that I’ve gone rigid. Seeming to realize that I’m completely overwhelmed, he squeezes my hand tighter and starts leading me through the small crowd that is now jostling us as they yell their questions.
Either he senses that I’m completely overwhelmed or he’s just over their questions coming so fast and furious, because he’s now hustling me through the crowd toward the car. Once he’s sure that I’m safely seated, he hustles around the front of the car and gets into the driver’s seat. In seconds he’s got his seatbelt on and we’re driving away from the restaurant.
My palms are now clammy and my heart is racing. Girlfriend? Who said anything about being his girlfriend? When this blows up I’m going to be nothing but a joke. I’ll be like one of George Clooney’s old girlfriends. Oh my God, what the heck did I get myself into by agreeing to be seen in public with him? This is a nightmare!
“Arden, don’t—”
“Don’t what, Exton? Don’t have a reaction to the fact that you just threw me to the wolves? Don’t get upset that they’re going to dig until they find out who I am? Don’t feel sick to my stomach because I’m going to look like the world’s stupidest woman in front of thousands of people that I don’t know? Which thing are you telling me not to do?”
Reaching out, he sets his hand on my knee. “Baby, none of that is true—”
“Screw your true, Exton! We are done. D.O.N.E. Done! You’re an asshole and I can’t believe that I was stupid enough to fall for your bullshit for even five goddamn seconds! You make me sick!” I shout angrily.
Letting go of my leg, Exton moves his hand to the steering wheel. Holding his hands at ten and two, he steers the car with a death grip without saying a word to me.
The longer that the silence stretches between us, the more panicked I get. I am beside myself about what just happened and I can’t believe that there’s any doubt in my mind that this needs to end tonight. I have to want to be done with him! Having questions thrown at me by the paparazzi is something that I have no interest in. I should be happy that he’s not arguing any of this with me, glad that he’s going to walk away without a backwards glance.
The silence in the car is almost deafening, and it’s not helped along by the fact that since it’s a Tesla, it’s almost completely noiseless. The only thing that’s filling the awkward quietness is the sound of our breathing.
Clenching my fists I hold myself stiff as I focus on how much longer I need to hold myself together. When I see the freeway exit for my neighborhood, I silently urge myself on. I can do this—it’s only three or four more minutes, tops. Then I’ll get out of the car and that will be that.
When he turns down my street, I take my seatbelt off. The second he stops the car at the curb, I throw the door open and jump out.
I snap out a harsh, “Have a nice life,” as I slam the door behind me. Running up the walk, I burst into the courtyard of my building and haul ass up to my door. With trembling hands I open my clutch and pull my keys out, letting out a frustrated sound when my fingers don’t cooperate as I try to fit the key into the lock. I need to keep myself together because I really don’t want to have an emotional breakdown out here where any of my neighbors might see.
I startle when a hand covers mine. The only reason I don’t scream at the top of my lungs is because a jolt of electricity zaps my hand the second he touches me, so I know that it’s Exton. Looking over my shoulder at him I snap, “What’re you doing?”
Taking the keys from my jelly-like fingers, he fits the correct one into the lock. “Unlocking the fucking door,” he says tersely.
Turning the key, he flings the door open and guides me into the apartment. Spinning on my heel I immediately get angry when I see that he’s locking the door behind him.
“I don’t want you here,” I say firmly. “I said everything that needed to be said in the car. What do you think you’re doing by coming in here?”
He’s turned away from me as he locks the door and throws the keys onto the table, but the second he turns back to me, I have no doubt about the fact that he’s not happy.
“What am I doing? I’m fighting for you, goddammit! That shit you spouted in the car was ridiculous and I am done with you pushing me away like I’m some kind of fucking pariah! What have I done that makes you so motherfucking distrustful of me, Arden? Name one fucking thing!”
My fight or flight response has now kicked into full gear and I am desperate to run and hide. He has to go. “Are you really so cocky that you think that every woman alive will fall for your bullshit? You’ve fucked your way through the goddamn Victoria’s Secret catalogue, you’ve got a sex tape and not two weeks before I met you, you took ten women home with you for an orgy! You just made me look like the stupidest woman alive in front of those photographers and by tomorrow afternoon I’ll be the town joke!”
Letting out a harsh sound of pure frustration he runs a hand through his hair and closes his eyes. When he opens them, I find that they are blazing. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re throwing shit at me that isn’t even true! Have I fucked models? Yes. Yes I have. I didn’t give a baker’s fuck about any of them and they didn’t give a shit about me, Arden.”
“I don’t want to hear about—”
“No, that’s not how this is going to work anymore! You threw this bullshit out, now I’m going to set your ass straight. You want to know how I feel about the fact that some goddamn cunt taped me during sex and then sold it to the highest bidder? I feel like a fucking idiot and there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t think about it at some point. I didn’t give permission for her to do that, I didn’t know about it, and it fucking makes me sick. You have no fucking idea how badly that fucked with my head, or all the shit that I’ve done since then to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again.”
“You don’t know how much I hated myself for that one horrible judgment call. I should’ve known that she was out to fuck me over, but I didn’t pay attention to the signs and it happened. I can’t take it back. The only good thing I can say about that situation is that it’s been a decade now. That stupid fucking Triple X name stuck, but almost no one posts screenshots or shit from the video anymore. You know the real me, Arden. Not Triple X. Not the fucking asshole who fucked off and made mistakes that can never be erased—but you won’t admit that to yourself and I’m done letting you pretend that this isn’t fucking real.”
Seeing the pain on his face as he talks about the tape slices at my heart. I know how it feels to have someone play me for a fool in a way that can never be smoothed over. I will always carry the weight of what happened with Ricky, and I will always hate myself for being stupid enough to fall for his lies.