“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. She also figured if she told Nik she was pregnant, it would help him get a ring on her finger that much faster. And that’s where it all went to hell.”
“Because you didn’t know whose baby it was.”
He sneered. “Because she wasn’t pregnant. And when I found out and told Nik, he told me I was full of shit. Then he found out I was right. Doesn’t sound like enough to push someone over the edge, does it?”
“How can anyone who’s not living in your head say that?”
He laughed but the sound held no amusement. “Be nice if the world worked like that, wouldn’t it? If everything had a reasonable conclusion.”
“But we all know that doesn’t happen. And I’m sure that’s not the entire story.”
“You’re sure, huh? Yeah, well, you’d be right.”
She wondered if he was going to share the rest. She wanted him to share the rest, to open up to her.
“On tour, the one person I could always count on to be there for me was Nik. We were each other’s rock. And when that went to shit, I lost it. We’d been on the road so long and it seemed like it would never end. We were all strung out. Nik and I were barely talking, and I honestly thought we were through. Turns out I’m the only one who thought that. Nik was pissed and hurt but he got past it. I was the one who couldn’t.
“I started to drink a little more, medicate a little more. But I wasn’t out of control. And yeah, I know that’s exactly what an addict would say, but even my doctor at rehab admitted I don’t have a chemical-abuse problem. Yeah, I took too many pills one night and nearly killed myself, but that’s why they’re called accidental overdoses. I had no desire to kill myself. I just wanted to make that little voice in my head shut the fuck up for one fucking night. But I drank too much alcohol, didn’t have enough food or water, and lost track of the pills.”
The guilt written so plainly on his face made her long to pull him down for a kiss. Even after last night, she still didn’t think she had the right. And she wasn’t sure he’d want her to.
“And this is where I become the biggest fucking coward on earth. I went through rehab because I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone for a month. And when I got out, it was just still easier not to deal with anyone.”
“So what happened to change that? How’d you wind up here, at Haven?”
“My dad. He’s friends with Tyler through a music program they both support. One for classical pianists. That’s what I was supposed to be. A classical pianist. At least, that’s what my parents thought I should be.”
“I understand you were something of a prodigy.”
He nodded, grimacing. “My parents are both academics. Mom teaches high school, and Dad teaches college. He’s pretty damn far up the tenure track at Wilkes-Barre University. My mom teaches AP math, physics, and chemistry. And they had this musically inclined son, who they figured was going to go to a renowned music school and make them proud. And they wound up with a kid who wanted to play loud, filthy music with a group of guys who barely finished high school.”
Yep, this had all the makings of a Shakespearean tragedy. Or a John Hughes movie.
“We can’t help what we love.”
He shook his head, breaking their stare to look down at her hand on his. “Sure we can. At least, we can choose not to pursue it. To throw away all the scholarships and the competitions and the hours of practice and the thousands of dollars on private tutors and music lessons.”
“But your parents support you now.”
“They came around, yeah. But that doesn’t mean they don’t still wish I was holed up in some conservatory auditorium having champagne after a concert instead of drinking beer and Jack Daniels in the green room of a stadium they’ve never heard of, where fifteen thousand people screamed for an hour and a half holding their middle finger in the air and left the pit bleeding.”
The image made her smile for some reason because she could see Sebastian onstage, playing, riling the crowd into even more of a frenzy.
His expression changed in a heartbeat, from self-mocking to that intense concentration she’d come to recognize.
She wanted him to kiss her. Wanted him to focus that concentration on kissing her. And possibly on throwing her up against the nearest wall and—
“What just went through your head?”
His low tone made her swallow and try to draw in a deep breath because, once again, she couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen.
And those blue-green eyes saw exactly what she didn’t want him to see.
“I’m gonna give you an out tonight, Tru.” He sounded so reasonable right now. Steady and calm. “One I didn’t give you last night. I’m not sorry about that because I wanted to kiss you. Hell, I wanted to do a hell of a lot more but I’d never force you into anything.”
And he hadn’t forced her last night. Not at all.
“But you’re gonna have to say it, Tru. Last night,” he paused and shook his head, as if searching for the right words, “was fucking amazing. But I should’ve asked.”
She shook her head. “If you’d asked, I would’ve told you no. And that would’ve been a lie.”
His fist relaxed and his hand twisted in hers, lacing their fingers together. His other hand lifted to cup her cheek, fingers brushing along her skin just as she’d imagined him doing earlier.
“Then, what do you say now?”
She swallowed hard. “I want you to kiss me.”
She could barely hear her own words, and she hoped like hell he had because she wasn’t sure she could get them past the dryness of her throat again.
When his mouth quirked into one of those smiles she was beginning to crave, the ones she’d only seen him give her, she knew he was going to do exactly what she’d asked for. And more.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
He leaned down, so slowly she couldn’t wait. Instead, she lifted up onto her toes and sealed their lips together, as if another millisecond would be too long to wait.
But where she would’ve rushed, he refused to allow it.
The hand cupping her cheek slid back into her hair, cupping her head and tilting her so he could get a better angle on her mouth, controlling the pace of the kiss. When he had her where he wanted her, he slipped his tongue between her lips and proceeded to dominate her.
It wasn’t like she didn’t know he was going to do it. Hell, she was looking forward to it.
All that control she exercised all day melted into submission when he had his hands on her. And he knew exactly how to make her beg for it.
He kissed her even more expertly this time, as if he was learning exactly what she liked, what made her sigh and squirm. Which was anything he did to her.
She craved it all. The way his hand cupped her head, then moved to wrap her hair around his fingers. The way he tugged back her head, making her scalp sting and her skin flush with heat. The way her body felt electrified at every point of contact.
Moaning into his mouth, her arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer, until the ridge behind his zipper pressed against her lower stomach. Already hard and throbbing, his cock encouraged her to rub her pelvis against his, making him groan and kiss her hard enough that their teeth clacked together.
He seemed to lose a little more of his control with each pass of his tongue against hers and she liked that, too.
His free hand roamed the expanse of her back, stroking along her spine until she wished like hell that he’d stick that hand under her shirt and touch her bare skin. Or better yet, strip off her shirt and her bra and put his hands all over her.
She shuddered just thinking about it. Which made him tug her closer.
Not bad, but not what she wanted.
She’d need to show him. No problem there.
Her hands slid to his waist, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up until she had her hands on his skin. Warm flesh that she knew was covered with ink. An allure all its own.
Later, she wanted to explore that ink with her hands and her tongue but right now she wanted to feel his naked skin pressed against hers.