Nik had a smile on his face that made something loosen in Baz’s chest and he smiled back while giving Nik the finger.
“Don’t worry. When I have to, I’ll get it right.”
“Boys, boys, no fucking around now. We’ve got two more songs to rehearse. Then we can call it a night and take a few days off.” Trev shook out his hands and rotated his neck before grabbing his bass and curving his fingers around it again. “And then I’m not gonna look at your ugly faces for at least twenty-four hours.”
“Jesus, what are you? Eighty? You sound like my fucking grandmother.” Jase threw a pick at Trev, who responded by tossing a nearby water bottle at his head. “But even she doesn’t bitch as much as you guys do.”
As they continued to toss insults back and forth, Baz soaked up the atmosphere.
Jesus, he’d missed this. He’d missed the guys. He hadn’t realized how much until they’d all been together in a confined space for weeks on end. First in the studio and now here. This rehearsal space was state-of-the-art amazing and they’d nailed down most of their set list in the past week.
They meshed liked they hadn’t been apart for almost a year.
But he couldn’t wait to get back to Tru. They still hadn’t talked about their relationship and what happened when he went on tour. He’d bailed on that conversation a week ago and had practically fucked them both comatose instead.
He’d decided to drive back to Philly tonight to see her. They’d talked a couple of times since he’d been up here. All calls he’d initiated. And every time they talked, he heard the distance between them grow. But there was nothing he could do about that.
He’d made a commitment to his band members, that he’d be here and he’d be better than he’d been before. That he’d fix what he’d broken.
But he didn’t want to lose Tru in the process.
“Baz, you still with us?”
He turned to give Zach the finger, who grinned back and picked up his sticks again.
“Alright, assholes,” Nik stood at the mic and grinned at him. “Let’s get this done.”
* * *
“Hey, babe. How’s it going?”
Tru turned with a gasp, her bag falling to the ground as she lost her grip on it. “Sebastian. What are you doing here?”
His mouth quirked in a rueful smile. “I kinda figured that’d be obvious, since I’m standing in your doorway.”
She admitted it’d been a stupid question, but she hadn’t seen him in six days. Six long days during which she’d convinced herself they were over.
“I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Yeah, I guess I deserve that. I should’ve called. Sorry. So, are you leaving? Want to get some dinner?”
Yes, she wanted to get dinner. It’d been a long week. She’d been busy with last-minute details for the release of Greg’s film all day and she’d missed lunch, so now she was starving. She’d had plans to head home, grab something to eat, then take a hot bath and relax with a glass of wine.
She’d much rather take Sebastian home with her, pick up a pizza, and spend the rest of the night having sex.
But she knew that was only prolonging her misery. She’d had a lot of time to think this past week and she knew what she needed to do.
Didn’t make it any less painful.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He didn’t look surprised by her response. He almost looked like he’d been expecting it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned back against the doorjamb.
“And why’s that?”
Oh, hell. Her heart beat like one of Zach’s drum fills as she tried to catch her breath. She wanted to cave and go to dinner with him, spend the night with him.
Then she stiffened her backbone. “The tour starts in a few weeks. Are you excited to be going back on the road?”
His gaze narrowed, trying to figure out where she was going with this. “Yeah. I love performing. The rush is like nothing else in the world. The sound of the crowd singing along to a song you wrote.” He paused. “But it’s different now. I never had someone I didn’t want to leave behind.”
Amazing how such a simple sentence could make her breath catch in her lungs and her stomach drop to her feet.
God, he wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? And she wasn’t sure she could do hard without breaking under the pressure.
But she knew if she didn’t keep her heart disengaged, she wouldn’t be able to move on when he left and didn’t come back.
And she refused to be an overused movie cliché.
Life wasn’t like the movies. A guy like Sebastian never returned with his head sticking out of a limo to take you away from your life as a prostitute. Or the managing director of a production company.
And he didn’t show up at your door with flashcards and a boom box to profess his undying love.
She might work on films but she wasn’t foolish enough to believe in a storybook happily-every-after. Real life definitely didn’t deliver the feel-good ending. Life continued to roll on after the wedding and it took a damn lot of hard, hands-on work to make it last.
And if you were apart more than you were together, well, the temptation to stray could be overwhelming.
“I think we both know this relationship has run its course.”
“Both of us, huh? So now you know what I’m thinking?”
She’d thought he wouldn’t put up a fight. She’d almost convinced herself he’d be happy she was breaking it off, that he’d be relieved.
“No, I don’t know what you’re thinking. But we don’t have a relationship, Sebastian. We had a few great sessions of sex and now it’s time to move on. You’re going out on tour and I’m staying here.”
His gaze narrowed. “And you don’t trust me?”
“This has nothing to do with trust. This has everything to do with wanting a man who’s actually going to be here.”
The pain in her chest leaked into her voice more than she’d wanted. And she knew he heard it.
Damn it, she’d wanted to be rational. Steady. Not an emotional wreck. But now, here he was, right in front of her and she had to stifle every emotional response rioting through her body.
Tears threatened, pricking at the corners of her eyes but she willed them away. She refused to cry. He didn’t need to be subjected to that and neither did she. Especially since she was the one breaking things off.
She expected him to fight her, expected him to at least offer some resistance. His arms crossed over his chest. “I never expected you to be a coward, Tru.”
“I’m not being a coward. This makes the most sense—”
“And you’re all about making sense of things, are you, Tru?”
Yes, she was.
“That’s who I am. You knew that. Or you should have.”
Pushing away from the doorjamb, he walked over to her. She held her ground but couldn’t help the way her blood fizzed in her veins at his proximity.
“What I know is I’ve missed you. I also know I’ve been busy and yeah, I’ve been preoccupied. But damn it, Tru, I thought you were braver than this.”
He kept coming until she had to tilt her head back to look up at him, getting lost in the masculine beauty of his face. So damn handsome. She wanted to sigh.
And when he lifted his hand to cup her cheek, she wanted to lean into his palm. Instead, she froze, unable to look away.
His eyes were a sharp blue tonight and they raked over her expression, as if trying to see inside her. When his hand moved, she almost grabbed him to keep him there. But he didn’t move away. His hand drifted back to wrap around her ponytail. He didn’t tug. He stroked his thumb along the strands for several seconds before releasing her, cupping her jaw again before letting his thumb brush against her lips.
Trying to contain her shiver, she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. His gaze dropped to watch and heat began to bloom low in her body.
“I honestly thought— Yeah, well, I guess I thought wrong, huh?”
Stiffening her back, she tried to drag her composure around her. And thought she might be failing miserably.
“We had a good time. But you’re going out on tour and I don’t want to be an anchor—”