As I glanced up to gaze at my broken self in the mirror, I knew I had no other choice. I had to escape the torment. I had to get away from Rhys.
I was leaving.
Chapter Sixteen
Rhys
When I had finally gotten back to the hotel, Allison had already left for the arena with Jake and Abby. I didn’t wait for the car to take me. After hailing a cab, I headed for the arena. When I got there, I searched everywhere inside for her, but I couldn’t find her. With a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the Runaway Train dressing room, I imagined she was inside with the twins.
With a defeated sigh, I made my way to the stage. I found Gabe and Eli sitting around on the stage while Jake stood at the piano. Then my stomach did a pansy little flip-flop at the sight of Allison seated at the piano bench. Trying not to let my emotions show in front of everyone, I quickly asked about when we were rehearsing. It wasn’t too surprising that rehearsal had been delayed for the twins’ naptime. But instead of having the opportunity to talk to Allison like I wanted, it was fucking frustrating that Jake had her working with him on some duet.
From the moment her fingers started floating over the black and white keys, her talent once again transfixed me. But once I realized what the song was, I felt an ache burning itself through my chest. I wasn’t too emotionally dense to realize the significance of the lyrics. If there was one song that epitomized our relationship, it was this song.
When Allison began to sing with Jake, the wildfire raged stronger in my chest. I desperately needed to see her face, so I began to slowly walk around the edges of the baby grand piano. When her face came into my line of sight, I closed my eyes in pain. Her expression read the agony she was feeling. It appeared she was trying to keep her emotions in check with every fiber of her being. Silently, I willed her to look up from the keys—to look into my eyes and see that all was not lost between us.
But when she did, it drove the knife even deeper into my chest. Staring straight at me, she sang, “You’re the one that I love, and I’m saying goodbye.”
When I started around the piano for her, the keys banged as she bolted from the bench, sending it crashing onto the stage floor. The next thing I knew she was sprinting away into the wings.
“Allison, wait!” Jake called, at the same time I shouted, “Allison!” When she continued running, he whirled around and pinned Eli with a death glare. “What the fuck have you done?” he demanded, his fists clenched at his sides.
Eli’s eyes widened as his face paled considerably. “Nothing, Jake. I swear.”
“Then why the hell did she just run out of here like that?”
Glancing from Jake to me, Eli shrugged. “I sure as hell don’t know, but I do know everything is good between us.”
With a gutted feeling, I turned and ran off stage. I started peeking in each and every one of the empty rooms. All the doors were open except two. I paused only momentarily at the Runaway Train dressing room before I flung open the door. Allison was bent over the makeup table across the room from me.
At the sound of someone behind her, Allison jerked her head up. An odd sense of déjà vu came over me as I met her gaze in the mirror, like a sickening repeat of last night. “Please leave me alone.”
I remained standing exactly where I was, my chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. Allison smacked her hands on the table. “If you have any decency left, you’ll walk out of here right now.”
My head jerked back like she had slapped me. I don’t think I had ever seen her so visibly angry. While extremely passionate, she was usually able to keep her emotions in check. Fuck, I had so screwed up. Unable to form the right words, I mumbled a weak, “I’m sorry.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “I’m so fucking tired of you saying that.” Shaking her head at me, she said, “I can’t do this anymore. Tonight after the show, I’m leaving on the first flight out of here.”
Her words had the same effect as if she had punched me in the gut. Gut-wrenching pain caused me momentarily to double at the waist. I struggled to breathe so that I could find the words necessary to make her stay. “No, you can’t do that,” I argued. I closed my eyes as the agony washed over me. “Please.”
“If I stay here one minute longer with you with the way things are between us, I’m going to go crazy.”
Extreme panic crept along my spine. This was sure as hell not what I had envisioned happening when it came time to beg for Allison’s forgiveness. I started grasping at straws—anything to earn Allison’s forgiveness. “What about the internship? You can’t just walk away from the opportunity—it means too much.”
“I’ve completed most of the field work, and I can finish the designs and clothes at home. I’m sure Miriam would work with me over Skype.”
I felt myself drowning even more in the quicksand of panic about her leaving. “But what about the twins? As much as you love them, you’re just going to leave?”
Tears streaked down Allison’s face. “I love them more than anything in the world, but right now, I have to love myself more.”
I shook my head back and forth. “No, you can’t do this. I won’t let you.”
Her dark eyes narrowed at me. “Here’s a newsflash, Rhys. You don’t get to tell me what to do. Since you’re not my boyfriend, let alone a true friend, you don’t even get to suggest anything for me to do. In the vast scheme of things, you don’t matter at all. You’re just the heartless bastard who broke my heart.”
Her words cut through my chest to pierce my soul. “Allison, please believe me when I say that I’m so fucking sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.”
“No, you’re not. You say those words because they’re easy, but your actions? They’ll just keep on torturing me.”
When she started to brush past me to make it to the door, I reached out for her. “Please, Allison, let me make it right,” I said.
“Don’t touch me!” she cried, slapping my hands away.
I hung my head in shame. “I did this to you. I caused you this pain, and I have to make it right. I’m sorry. Please, please, let me make it up to you. Please…don’t go.”
Burying her face in her hands, Allison said, “Rhys, I meant it. Leave. Now!”
“I can’t. Not until you hear me out. I owe you at least that much.”
Allison jerked her head up and glared icily at me. “Here, let me help you then.” With all the strength she had in her, she shoved me toward the door. “Get out!”
“Why won’t you listen to me? I can’t leave you right now because I need you too much. And I can’t let you leave me.”
Her eyelids fluttered as she blinked rapidly. “What?”
“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry that I lied when I said I didn’t care about you. Most of all, I’m sorry for ever causing you so much pain.” I ran my hand nervously through my hair. “This afternoon after I left you in Jake and Abby’s suite, I did some serious soul-searching.” I thought it was best to leave out the part with Sierra at the moment. “Finally, it hit me like a fucking epiphany, and it was like I saw everything clearly for the first time.” Reaching for her hand, I took it in mine and squeezed. “I’ve been lying to you about my feelings, but most of all, I’ve been lying to myself.”
“Rhys, I—” she began.
I shook my head. “Please. Just listen.” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. “Hear me when I say that I’ve fallen for you, Allison Slater—heart, soul, and body. That I probably first felt something for you when you were just sixteen—the night I kissed you for the first time. Something changed within me that night—like fate was giving me a preview of things to come. But like everything else with you, I chose to ignore it. Then I came to see you in Savannah, and while I just wanted to believe we were having fun like friends would, the truth was there all along, just waiting beneath the surface to be revealed. And then when the truth was revealed, I got scared, and like a fucking coward, I drove you away and then I ran. That was an asshole move, and I’m sorry. All the while I knew that I cared very deeply for you. I always have. When it came time to see you again for the tour, I, again, convinced myself it would be better off to be friends, to forget that wonderful night of mind blowing sex had ever happened.”