She didn’t think Jake would be long in the kitchen and had no desire to be caught in a state of undress. Pushing herself off the bed, she quickly stripped off her skirt and pantyhose. Her blouse and bra quickly followed. She reached for her nightgown, which hung from an antique brass hook on the back of her closet door, and quickly drew it on. She kept her panties on, not wanting to feel quite so undressed in front of Jake. To be on the safe side, she drew her dressing gown on over the nightie.
A low knock sounded on the door. Before she could answer, Jake pushed the door open and walked in. He’d removed his jacket and boots and rolled back the sleeves of his black linen shirt, displaying muscled forearms dusted with a light covering of dark-blond hair. She frowned at him. “You should have waited until I told you to come in.”
His stride slowed and an odd expression crossed his face as though such a thing had never occurred to him. “Next time,” he promised. He had a towel filled with ice in his left hand and motioned toward the bed with his right one. “Get in bed.”
“I’d planned to,” she muttered. Honestly, the man gave new meaning to the word bossy. She pulled down the comforter and sheet and slid into bed. When she was settled, she glanced at him and was surprised to find a sheepish expression on his face.
“I don’t mean to be so pushy,” he began. He raked his free hand through the silky strands of his blond hair, something he did whenever he was upset. She’d spent enough time with him to know some of his habits. His normally cool-blue eyes darkened and warmed. “I’m just worried about you.”
Sapphire found herself softening toward him in spite of her resolve to stay strong. An apology from a man like Jake didn’t happen every day and she relished it, even as she took pleasure in his concern. “No need. It’s only a few bruises.”
All softness disappeared from his expression and was replaced with hard, implacable lines she knew so well. “It’s enough.”
Jake sat on the side of the bed, set the towel aside and tugged at the opening of her dressing gown. Giving into the inevitable, she helped him remove it and tug it out from under her. He folded it and laid it over the end of the bed. Thankfully her nightie had spaghetti straps so there was no need to pull them down to get at the bruises.
“I put the ice in a baggie and wrapped it in a towel so you don’t have to worry about it melting and making a mess.” He gingerly set the towel with the ice on one shoulder.
She flinched and he swore. She was surprised by how much he’d cursed this evening. He normally watched his language around her.
“I know it’s cold, but it will help,” he promised. He tugged the covers around her and brushed back a lock of hair that had escaped from its clip.
Sapphire studied him as he moved the cold compress to her other shoulder. She’d never admit it to him, but he was right. The ice was numbing the pain and easing some of the ache from her bruises.
Jake continued to shift the ice pack from shoulder to shoulder until almost all of the ice had melted. He removed the compress and studied the bruises. “I don’t think they’re too bad, but it will take a while for them to fade.” He tossed the towel onto the nightstand and then leaned over her, bracing his hands on either side of her.
A million butterflies danced in her stomach and her skin felt hot in spite of the ice he’d used on her bruises. She swallowed hard and stared at him.
“I’ve missed you.”
She’d missed him too. So much. But she couldn’t get the words past her lips, wasn’t sure she would even if she could. The pain of his leaving was still too fresh. “What happened? Tell me why you left that night. You said it was because of the darkness inside you. What did you mean by that?”
If they were going to have any kind of chance at all of making this relationship work, then he was going to have to be honest with her from here on out. No more making her decisions for her. She needed to understand what demons he was fighting, what was driving him to act as he did.
He lowered his head and for a second she thought he might kiss her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that, not yet, not with her emotional barrier so unsteady. Instead, he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. His warm breath fanned over her skin.
“You know what I’ve done for a living.” His voice was so low she had to listen hard to hear him. She sensed that whatever he was about to say wasn’t easy for him, but it was necessary if they were going to start over.
“I do.”
He sat upright and studied her, his gaze probing and intense. “You think you do, but you don’t.”
She shook her head in protest. She wasn’t stupid, nor was she as innocent as he seemed to think she was. “Jake, I know you were a soldier for twenty years. I know that you were a sniper. I can do the math.”
He nodded stiffly and she reached out to him, resting a hand on his forearm. The muscle was taut and hard beneath her palm.
“I know you’ve had to make some hard choices, do some hard things in your career.” She knew he’d killed people. The country had been at war and it was his job to deal with the threat.
His entire body stilled, but there was no mistaking the coiled energy just waiting to explode. “When we got out, John and I started our business.”
And in a short time, Knight Security was gaining a name for itself in certain circles. She was so glad her father had found them when she and Topaz had needed bodyguards.
“But what does that have to do with what happened between us in the bedroom, Jake?” That was what she really needed the answer to. The man sitting next to her was a deeply complex and layered one, with depths she hadn’t truly seen until tonight.
He met her gaze, his blue eyes unflinching. “I don’t like being out of control. Maybe it comes from doing the job I did for such a long time, maybe it’s part of my basic DNA and was strengthened by my career choice. I really don’t know.”
Sapphire stayed quiet, willing him to continue. Only the distant hum of the refrigerator and their light breathing broke the silence for the longest time. She began to wonder if he was going to tell her anything more when he finally began to speak again.
“Do you know what I’m saying to you? Do you understand?” He cupped her face between his hands, rubbing his thumbs over her cheekbones. “I like being in charge of sex. I have to be in charge.”
He’d been intense and demanding the night they’d spent together, but she’d found it oddly exciting. And for sure, she’d never orgasmed with the intensity that she had that night. But what exactly did he mean by being in charge?
“There are things I want to do to you. Things I want you to do to me, for me. I want to strip you naked and fuck you all night long until you won’t ever question who you belong to.”
His words snaked through her blood like molten lava, setting her body on fire for him. But a part of her took a step back. Was this what she wanted? Could she live with his demands, satisfy his needs?
She licked her suddenly dry lips. “What else?”
His chest expanded and contracted on a huge breath. “What else? Anything. Everything. Whatever I want, whenever I want it.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers, the touch barely there, more of a breath than a kiss. “But I’ll never hurt you again, babe. I promise you that. I’m sorry for the bruises I left on your skin that night.” He rested his hand on the comforter over her hips and pressed.
“Bruises?” Did he think he’d physically hurt her?
He frowned. “Don’t deny them. I saw them on your hips where I held you too tight. I also left a beard burn on your breasts.” He shook his head. “Not to mention you flinched every time you moved.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying, the misconceptions he had of their night together. “Jake, the light rash on my breasts was gone by the time you left. I never even noticed it. As for the bruises, they were light and I honestly can’t remember you holding me too tight.”