As soon as he thought it, he knew he’d do the same. He really had no choice. Sapphire had become essential to his life. Somehow, this quiet, artistic soul had made a place for herself in his heart, even though he’d barricaded and closed that organ off for years.
He helped her on with her coat and took her hand after she locked her apartment door behind them. “What would you like to eat? We can order and pick it up on the way to my place.”
Sapphire’s eyes widened when she got her first look at Jake’s home. The brownstone was old but well tended, and it certainly had character. Broad steps led up to a hunter-green door with a brass handle and trim. A tall, thin window flanked either side of the door. It was lovely.
“Come on.” Jake ushered her toward the door, one hand on her back and the other one balancing their dinner. They’d decided on pizza, half vegetarian and half meat-lovers special. “Hold this.” He gave her the box and unlocked the door, holding it as she stepped into the foyer.
“There are two apartments on this floor that we rent.” He let her keep the pizza and urged her toward the stairs. “I have the entire second floor and John has the third. I suppose John and Topaz have the third now.”
“Are they home?” She couldn’t quite contain the worry in her voice.
“I have no idea. Why?”
She shrugged, not wanting to talk about her sister and his brother and how much either of them might know about the situation.
He frowned as he unlocked his door and held it open for her. “You haven’t told her about us, have you?”
She sailed inside, pizza clutched tight in her hands. “No. I didn’t see the need.”
“I see.” Jake closed the door and locked it.
She wasn’t quite certain what it was he saw. She also wasn’t sure why she hadn’t told her sister about them, only that it seemed too personal to share. Of course, there was always the worry that Topaz would confront Jake and make their situation worse. Topaz took her role of older sister very seriously.
She set the pizza down on a table just inside the door and got her first good look at Jake’s home. It was a masculine space with the flat-screen television dominating the living room. His sofa was dark-brown leather, large and looked comfortable. A slightly battered, well-used chair sat off to the side. The floor was hardwood without a rug to soften it. There were no throw pillows and only wood blinds covered the windows.
Jake grabbed the pizza box and carried it into the dining area. Sapphire followed, wanting to see more of his home. His dining area was just as sparse as his living room. A wooden table sat in the center surrounded by four chairs. There was no art on the walls and the table was bare. He dropped the pizza on the table and continued on into the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room by only a countertop.
Jake collected two plates and two pieces of paper towel to use as napkins and came back to the table. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got red wine, beer, water or ginger ale.”
“I’ll have a glass of wine.” She needed something to steady her nerves. Being here with Jake, seeing his home, was giving her a whole new insight into the man. He and his brother had owned this building for several years, but Jake’s space looked as though he’d just moved in. It was stark, with nothing personal at all to say anything about the man who lived here. She’d only lived in her own space a few short weeks and it already felt much homier than his place.
It was as though his need to protect his privacy spilled over into his own home. What must it be like to live that way? So guarded and alone.
It made her heart hurt to think of him sitting in that large living room chair all by himself with little to comfort him. She could easily imagine him kicking back by himself to watch some sports event on his rather large television. Jake liked all sports and would watch just about anything. She favored hockey and baseball and wasn’t all that fond of football.
Jake placed a glass of wine in front of her and set a beer down by his plate. “You okay?” His deep voice broke into her contemplations and she smiled at him.
“I’m fine.” He was so handsome it made her ache to touch him, to reassure him he was no longer alone. But that wasn’t altogether true. It was up to him to let her into his life. She couldn’t force her way in. He had to really want her to be a part of it.
“You sure?” He pulled out the chair next to her and sat, his gaze still on her.
She nodded and reached for a piece of pizza—the vegetarian side. Jake grabbed a slice from the other side and took a big bite. She watched his strong jaw chew and his throat ripple when he swallowed.
Heat crept up her cheeks and she lowered her head and took a bite of pizza. Honestly, she had to stop looking at him as though she wanted to nibble on his jawline, to lick his stellar chest and washboard abs. Her nipples tightened and she bit back a sigh.
She had a lot of questions to ask, but was reluctant to break the companionable silence that existed between them. Still, she’d never been a coward and wasn’t about to start now. “I did some research online today.” After she’d gotten home from her meeting with Topaz, she’d done some digging around on the internet, trying to come to grips with what Jake had told her. She’d seen some strange and slightly disturbing things while researching BDSM websites.
“About what?” He finished his first slice and started another. His gaze was steady as he watched her. Sapphire picked up her wine and had a sip, letting the fruity flavor tickle her taste buds before sliding down her throat.
“About the whole control in the bedroom thing.” She took a deep breath and blurted out her question. “Are you into the whole BDSM thing? You know, with leather and whips and stuff?” Because she wasn’t sure she could handle anything that hardcore.
He set down the slice of pizza he was holding. “What gave you that idea?”
She frowned at him. “I suppose it was your whole lecture on needing control in the bedroom and me not being able to handle it.” What else was she supposed to think?
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Hell no. Not that there’s anything wrong with it if it’s what people want, but I don’t understand the attraction and, frankly, I wouldn’t get any joy out of it.”
Sapphire was totally confused. “Then what did you mean?”
Jake’s chair scraped back and he stood. He held out his hand and said nothing. Slowly, she got to her feet and slid her hand into his. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the living room, bypassing the sofa and heading straight to the disreputable looking chair. From the sad state of this particular piece of furniture, she could tell it was his favorite.
He sat and settled her comfortably in his lap. His jaw was dark with beard stubble and she reached out and ran her fingers over it, unable to resist. The rasp was an erotic caress against her skin. He captured her hand and kissed her knuckles before setting it against his heart. The beat was steady and strong. Comforting.
“I’m not into the whole BDSM scene,” he began, and she found herself relaxing against him, releasing a low sigh of relief.
“Then what is it you want?” She truly wanted to understand him and what made him walk away from her the first time. She had to know if she was going to be able to give him another chance.
They might have been intimate the other night, but it took more than sex to have a relationship. It took understanding, respect and liking as well.
He ran his free hand up and down her thigh, momentarily distracting her. Sapphire was glad she’d worn pants and not a skirt or she’d probably be in danger of forgetting about this entire conversation. His hand on her bare skin always felt so good.