Ella blinked hard. “What do you mean, still?”
“I kept it a secret. If I would have said something to you, maybe you could have . . .”
Aria’s mother sank further into the chair cushion. “Honey, your father put you in a horrible position. You should have never had to make the decision to tell or not to tell. Even if you had told me sooner, it wouldn’t have changed anything in the end. It’s not your fault.” She laid a hand on Aria’s thigh.
“I know, but you got so mad at me for not saying anything,” Aria mumbled. Ella had kicked her out of the house, and she’d had to live with Sean Ackard, her then-boyfriend.
Ella cradled a knitted throw pillow between her hands. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I was just so blindsided, and I had to lash out at someone.” She looked up. “I’m sorry, too, honey. You shouldn’t dwell over this. Things happen. And we’re all happier and healthier now, right?”
Aria nodded, feeling a knot in her stomach. “But if we were to do it all over again, would you rather I told you sooner?”
Ella thought about this for a moment, running her finger over her bottom lip. “Maybe not,” she said. “I think I needed to be in the dark, at least for a little while longer. I needed to get strong enough to know what I wanted and realize that I was capable of living on my own. Moving to Iceland, figuring out a new country, that really helped me, but it was because of your father that we went there. So, actually, Aria, if I had known earlier, I never would have gotten that experience. In a weird way, I’m glad I found out when I did.”
Aria nodded, working this over in her mind. “So you’re saying that if you know a secret about someone, but you also know that someone else isn’t ready to hear it, you should keep it to yourself?”
“I guess it depends.” Ella wrinkled her brow, looking suspicious. “Why? Do you know a secret about someone?”
“No,” Aria said quickly. “I was just speaking hypothetically.”
Her mom’s cell phone rang, saving Aria from having to explain further. But then she peered out the window and saw Noel’s Escalade parked at the curb, and her stomach clenched. Ella’s advice made perfect sense, but that meant she had to break up with Noel.
Swallowing hard, she waved good-bye to Ella, zipped up her denim jacket, and stepped out the door. Her heart broke when she saw Noel’s smiling face through the window. “You look gorgeous, as usual,” he crooned when she opened the door.
“Thanks,” Aria mumbled, even though she’d worn her ugliest jeans and a big, bulky sweater that was one of her first knitting projects. She wanted to seem as unattractive as possible to soften the blow.
“So where do you want to go?” Noel shifted into drive and pulled away from the curb. “Williams-Sonoma for cooking supplies? I hear next week we’re making popovers.”
Aria stared at the passing streetlamps until her vision blurred, keeping her mouth shut. She was afraid that if she said anything, she’d burst into tears.
“Okay, not in a Williams-Sonoma mood,” Noel said slowly, turning the steering wheel. “What about that cool coffee bar we found in Yarmouth? Or hey, we could go back to that psychic shop by the train station. Where it all began.” He nudged Aria playfully. He was referring to how they’d bonded at a séance at the shop last year.
Aria fiddled with the zipper on her jacket, wishing Noel would just be quiet.
“Last-ditch effort,” Noel said cheerfully. “How about we go to Hollis and just get really drunk? Play some darts and beer pong, act like idiots . . .”
“Noel, I can’t,” Aria blurted.
Noel came to a stop at a light adjacent to a big strip mall. “Can’t what? Drink?” He grinned. “C’mon. I saw you drink plenty in Iceland.”
She winced. Iceland just twisted the knife more painfully—it was yet another secret she was keeping. “No, I can’t do . . . this.” Her voice cracked. “Me and you. It’s not working.”
A frozen smile appeared on Noel’s face. “Wait. What?”
“I’m serious.” She stared at the glowing red clock numbers on the dashboard. “I want to break up.”
The light turned green, and Noel wordlessly swerved into the other lane and turned into the strip mall. It was one of those monstrous shopping plazas that contained a Barnes & Noble superstore, a Target, a warehouse-size wine shop, and a bunch of upscale salons and jewelry boutiques.
Noel pulled into a parking space, shut off the engine, and looked at her. “Why?”
Aria kept her head down. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve got to have some reason. It’s not Klaudia, is it? Because I can’t stand that girl, I swear.”
“It’s not Klaudia.”
Noel ran his hands over his forehead. “Are you into someone else? That Ezra guy?”
Aria shook her head vigorously. “Of course not.”
“Then what? Tell me!”
There was an imploring, desperate expression on his face. It took everything in Aria’s power not to throw her arms around Noel and tell him she didn’t mean it, but A’s note was branded in her mind. She wouldn’t be responsible for wrecking his family. She needed to get as far away from Noel as possible. She was poison to him.
“I’m sorry, but it’s just something I have to do,” she whispered. “I’ll come by tomorrow and get the stuff I left at your house.” Then she reached for the door handle and swung her legs to the pavement. The cold air assaulted her senses. The aroma of brick-oven pizza wafted into her nostrils, turning her stomach.
“Aria.” Noel leaned over and caught her arm. “Please. Don’t go.” Aria bit back tears, staring blankly at the shopping cart corral. “There’s nothing more to say,” she said in a dead voice. Then she jumped out of the car, slammed the door hard, and started walking blindly toward the closest store, a Babies “R” Us. Noel called her name again and again, but she kept walking, staring at her boots, breathing in and out, and making sure no cars ran her over. Finally, the Escalade’s engine revved, and the SUV backed up and gunned toward the exit.
Beep.
Aria’s phone sounded from the bottom of her bag. The screen was lit up as she pulled it out. A new text had come in.
Kudos, Aria. No pain, no gain, right? Mwah! —A
Aria threw her phone back in her bag, hard. You win, A, she thought, blinking through tears. You win every goddamn time.
She was at the curb of the Babies “R” Us by now. A stroller display took up the whole window, and banners of happy, giggling babies decorated the store. Pregnant women cruised the aisles, buying baby bottles, onesies, and diapers. All the happiness she saw felt like a kick in the stomach. She felt the urge to ram a shopping cart into the window and watch the glass shatter around the blissful scene.
The automatic doors swished open, and a woman in an expensive-looking black wool coat pushed a cart full of shopping bags down the ramp. She looked just as joyful as the others, though there was something about her expression that looked a little strained. Aria squinted hard, her pulse racing.
It was Gayle. But what was she doing here? Stocking up on stuff for when she kidnapped Emily’s baby?
Without breaking her stride, Gayle met Aria’s gaze. Her eyebrows shot up, and she winked, seeming pleased with herself. Probably because she’d been the one who’d written the note demanding that Aria and Noel break up. Probably because she saw Aria’s tear-streaked face now and understood that Aria had gone through with it.
Because she was A, and she was pulling all the strings.
23
LADIES WHO LUNCHEON
Spencer rang the bell at the Ivy House, then stepped back and examined her reflection in the glass next to the door. It was Sunday afternoon, a few minutes after Harper had told her to arrive for the potluck, and she was ready. She’d managed to blow-dry her hair with the shoddy hair dryer at the motel and had done her makeup in the cracked mirror. The iron had worked to press the wrinkles out of the dress she’d brought, and, most importantly, she was holding three pans of gooey, chocolatey pot brownies in her hands.