I feel so goddamned trapped.
That feeling lingered with him for the rest of his shift.
After his shift, he drove home, walked Arizona and wolfed down a roast beef sandwich with horseradish mayonnaise. Then he walked Arizona again and polished off Andrew Gross’s latest thriller. Finally, he climbed into bed and tried to sleep.
He kept thinking about the wooden box with the medical insignia on it. The one with the hypodermic needle inside and a small vial of clear liquid. Why the hell had he kept them?
Fight it, Marcus.
He focused on his breath. In… out… in… out.
“Daddy…”
Ryan stood at the foot of his bed.
Marcus swallowed. “Don’t leave me.”
“Daddy?” Ryan held out a small hand, but as Marcus reached for it, his son began to fade. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Love—”
But Ryan was already gone.
Marcus got up, walked Arizona for the third time that evening, then settled on the couch for a long night of television.
“Insomnia’s a bitch,” he muttered. He glanced at Arizona, who was already half asleep. “But what do you know about it, you lucky dog?”
Chapter Eight
Friday morning, Rebecca dropped the kids off at school. They were hyped up on thoughts of their trip to Auntie Kelly’s and already fighting over what they’d be doing. All Colton wanted to do was go swimming in the pool, while Ella wanted to pick wildflowers and play with the “Trips,” as everyone called the triplets.
Rebecca let out a happy sigh. “Vacation, here I come!”
She’d taken the day off to get ready for the trip. She planned to drop the kids off at Kelly and Steve’s after dinner and pick them up Monday afternoon. Then she’d have three nights in a B&B in Cadomin and two full days of relaxation.
The thought of leaving the kids made her stomach churn, but she pushed aside her fear. Her sister and brother-in-law could handle anything that came up. Besides, she really needed some alone time.
She glanced down at the checklist in her lap. Snacks for the drive. Coloring book and crayons for Ella. Gas for car. Laundry. Pack the kids’ bags. Clean kitchen and house. Charge cell phones (pack charger). House key to Heidi next door, in case of emergency. Water the plants.
She drove to the Save-On and picked up two bags of salt-and-vinegar chips, and two bottles each of green iced tea and cola. The drive to Cadomin was long, and she’d need the distractions of snacks.
Next, she stopped off at Wal-Mart and picked out a Sleeping Beauty coloring book and a large box of glitter crayons. They would keep Ella well occupied and out of Kelly’s hair, especially while the Trips were napping. It would help keep her calm too—less chance of an asthma attack.
Rebecca gasped, then scribbled PUFF! on her list. How could she forget?
The last time they’d driven a long distance and forgotten Puff, it had almost ended in tragedy. Since Wesley refused to go, she’d driven to Calgary with the kids to see her father, who was in the hospital, recuperating from a triple bypass. The surgery hadn’t gone well. The doctor stated that there were a multitude of complications. For a while it looked like her father might not make it. That thought had eaten at Rebecca for days. She and her father had unresolved issues. Being an adult child of divorce didn’t make it hurt any less.
The drive back from Calgary had started off uneventful. They were about forty minutes away when Ella started coughing in the back seat.
“Can you take care of it, Colton?”
Like usual, her son balked at the extra responsibility. “Ella knows what to do, Mom.”
“Help her.”
With an exaggerated sigh, Colton dug around in Ella’s backpack. “Puff’s not here, Mom.”
“What do you mean, Puff’s not there?”
Colton dumped the contents of the bag on the seat.
“Mommy, I can’t breathe,” Ella cried.
Rebecca’s heart raced as she signaled to pull off the busy highway. “Try to take a slow, deep breath.”
The coughing from the back seat grew hoarse. Then the wheezing started.
“Mom?” Colton said, his voice scared. “It’s not in her bag.”
Rebecca eased onto the shoulder, parked the car and jumped out. When she opened the back door, she nearly fainted at the sight of Ella’s gray face and hollow eyes.
“Oh, Jesus.” She shoved aside the assortment of barrettes and markers from Ella’s open backpack. Then she checked the floor of the car. Nothing.
Ella gasped. “I… can’t… breathe.”
Rebecca ripped off her daughter’s seat belt and gathered her in her arms.
“Found it!” Colton shouted. He held up the inhaler.
“Thank God.” Rebecca released a panicked breath.
Minutes later, Ella’s asthma attack receded, and the color returned to her cheeks. “I was sitting on Puff,” she said, oblivious to Rebecca’s fear.
Rebecca had kept her eye on Ella all the way home. It had been a long drive.
“We don’t want a repeat of that,” she muttered now as she took a detour to the pharmacy.
Get refill of Puff, she mentally added to her list.
A half hour later, with the extra inhaler safely tucked in the glove compartment of the car, Rebecca drove home and unpacked the travel supplies. She threw a load of laundry into the washing machine. In Ella’s room, she stacked folded socks and underwear on the Barbie comforter. Ella would want to pick out her own outfits.
Rebecca meandered down to the basement. It was her least favorite place in the old home, and she made a point of avoiding it when she could. With its stale air and unfinished walls and ceiling, the dingy basement was the catch-all for everything they couldn’t fit elsewhere.
She wove through the piles of boxes and bins until she found the luggage set her mother had given her when she’d married Wes. Had this been her mother’s subtle way of saying Rebecca’s marriage wouldn’t last?
She heaved the luggage up the stairs, then inhaled deeply. “I want a new house. With a finished basement.”
Wesley always said she was a dreamer.
The phone rang, and she picked it up. “Hello?”
“I’m glad I caught you,” Kelly said, panting as if she’d run a marathon.
Rebecca’s heart sank. “Uh-oh. What’s wrong?”
“Measles.”
“Which one?”
“All of them. The Trips.”
“Oh God, Kelly.”
Her sister tried to laugh. “I know. It doesn’t rain here. It pours.”
Rebecca glanced at the clock above the kitchen sink. “I have to pick up the kids soon.”
“That’s why I’m calling. I really hate to do this, but with three kids with the measles―”
“Kel, don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t expect you to take Ella and Colton now. Besides, Ella hasn’t had the measles.”
“I remembered that. That’s why I wanted you to know.” Kelly paused. “So what’ll you do? Mom can’t take them. She’s in Yuma.”
Rebecca groaned. “I’ll think of something.”
“I’m so sorry, Sis.”
“No worries. If worse comes to worst, I’ll take them with me.”
She sure as hell wasn’t leaving them with Wesley.
“That’s what I thought you might do,” Kelly said. “I know Wesley is a no-go.”
Kelly always could read her mind. They might as well have been twins for the connection they shared.
“You worry about the Trips,” Rebecca said. “I’ll have no problems adjusting my plans. The hotel can always add a cot.”