Now came Papa to interrupt us, and he carefully installed his portly figure on an armchair, while Lilian, as if obeying a sudden impulse, left the piano abruptly and took a footstool, which she placed at Papa's feet and then sat on it, pushing herself hard against his legs, as I could plainly see. Papa always maintained a dignified silence when Lilian approached him in loving style before me. Mamma joined us and there was no peace until I had promised to come and spend the day on Monday, twenty-seventh of February, as Raoul was to be there, having a holiday on account of the funeral of the illustrious personage I have referred to, and there was also to be present a German friend of Mr. Arvel, of the Berlin financial papers.
February 27, 1899.
I started from Paris with a novel for Lilian, called L'Anneau, as the subject treated of a young girl who falls in love, but her sweetheart fights shy of her because she is a virgin. So she throws herself in the arms of a cool, debauched rake, who is quite surprised to find she is a maid, but he violates her speedily and, fearful of the responsibility, never sees her again, but the man for whom she has done this also discards her. Another lover now comes after her, but he is sentimental and proposes marriage. She accepts, hiding from him the fact that she is no longer intact. Through the boasting indiscretion of her seducer, as I call him out of politeness, the would-be bridegroom finds out her deceit and reproaches her bitterly. The curiosity of the novel is in the up-to date manner in which it concludes. In the old sentimental days of my youth, the author would have rushed to suicide as a wind-up; here the young man takes the heroine to be his mistress and we leave him buttoning the girl's boots after a scene of sensuality in the middle of the day. I also kept Lilian supplied with the volumes of Justine, and Papa and lynx-eyed Mamma must surely have seen the volumes sticking out of my pockets.
And another peculiar circumstance took place that very day. The advertisement about the dogs brought a number of answers and I may say at once that two were eventually sold for fifty francs each, out of the five that formed the litter; and all kinds of applicants wrote to ask about the pups. Mamma showed a post-card where most peculiar details were asked, the writer thinking that these were pedigree dogs, whose sire had won prizes at shows, etc. I told her to answer and say she did not know anything about pedigrees, but the dogs could be seen at any time.
“Sign your letter with a woman's name, and then you need not bother to give particulars. Any name will do, — Marguerite, Antoinette-”
“Or Justine!” exclaimed Mamma, interrupting me, while her beautiful black eyes pierced me through and through, as she tried to see what effect her bold mention of that name would have upon me. I was taken aback and staggered for a second, but I made no sign. Mamma and I were alone at the time, or else she would not have been so bold. I debated with myself whether I should tell Lilian or not, and after reflection decided to keep this queer answer of Mamma to myself for the nonce. It was a useful bit of information anyhow, as it enabled me to see that the mother was an accomplice to Lilian's goings-on, and as the afternoon grew towards a close, another incident confirmed my theory and this time it was of much greater importance.
We were all in the dining-room. I think the five o'clock tea was being drunk, or had been served, when a ring was heard at the gate of the villa. It was a gentleman who had come to see the puppies, from the advertisement in the newspaper. Whenever anybody called, Lilian always rushed to the garden to see who it was, and evinced great curiosity and a wish to show herself, and Arvel generally followed suit, as he also liked to know what was going on. But this time the couple never moved, and Papa told me to go after his wife, who was already in the garden, and explain about the dogs to the gentleman. I went, wondering at the attitude of Lilian and her Papa, who were standing up side by side, their backs to the buffet, and both looking embarrassed and uneasy. Lilian held her head down, and Papa looked quite shame-faced and also seemed to be studying the pattern of the carpet. The visitor was an officer in the French army, and he gave his name and address, which I carefully noted, and he also mentioned that of another officer, his friend, an amateur of the canine race, who I knew by reputation as an habitué of the Café de la Guerre, where he used to have his letters addressed. The visitor was a fine, tall, gentlemanly, handsome fellow, about thirty-five years of age, with blue eyes and a large fair moustache, but with no beard. I was very glad to note this little detail, as I knew Lilian liked shaven chins, and I wore all my beard, as I have already stated. He seemed very quiet and subdued in his manner, and was visibly either ill at ease, or very shy and nervous by nature. He asked a few unimportant questions about the little dogs and Mamma drew him away to see the rest of them and their father and mother, in another part of the garden. I turned back to the house out of discretion. As I went strolling along, I saw the officer striding towards the gate, followed by Mamma, who had to trot to keep up with him. He was very tall, and little paunchy Mamma was running by his side, talking earnestly and looking up at him, like a street-walker soliciting an unwilling stranger. She followed him out of the gate, and I went back into the dining-room, where I found Lilian and her Papa, who had not moved from their straitened position against the buffet.
Raoul, who was at home that day on a special holiday on account of the funeral I have mentioned, now came running in to the dining-room and announced that Mamma had made a present of a pup to the officer, although he had not seemed surprised at first being asked sixty francs for the one he had chosen. Everybody seemed astonished except Lilian, who asked me what I thought. I answered that I could not understand it at all. I could not tell Lilian that I fancied he was her adorer, and that she was giving each of her lovers a pup, as I was to have had one. Papa, coarsely, as was his wont, said that if he had been a man and such a thing had happened to him, he would have thought that the woman who gave the animal, to him a perfect stranger, wanted him to sleep with her. Mamma took me on one side and in a greatly excited state, her voice quite hoarse and her lips white and trembling, excused herself to me, saying that she had done this to curry favor for her son. This was laughed at later by Raoul, who explained that he was in another part of France, and naturally this officer could do nothing for him. Altogether each one acted his or her part splendidly, including myself, who listened and looked at each and every one, saying never a word, nor betraying myself in any way. This is the man who took her virginity in November, I expect, and accounts for the story of the lieutenant, the silver chatelaine, and the late newly-developed love for officers in general. I kept my own counsel.
The German friend arrived after breakfast, but left before the officer came, I think, although he has but the place of a lay-figure in this story.
Papa had fainted away as from giddiness on Saturday and Sunday and was far from well.
After lunch he had a slight fit of vertigo and it was all he could do to keep on his legs. I offered to stop with him, but he refused and went to lie down, while Lilian, who I watched narrowly, never turned a hair. She seemed very hard-hearted, for although he was nothing to me, I suffered to see my big, strong friend grow white, and stagger like a drunken man, but the boy and girl were unmoved, and as it had been decided that Raoul, Lilian, and I were to go out on bicycles, we did so, leaving Papa with his wife and Granny.
I must not forget that I had borrowed a Kodak and took everybody's portrait, but most of my films were monopolized by Lilian, and I got her in all sorts of positions, with her dogs and without, and I experienced sweet lustful emotion in ordering her to turn and twist in front of the lens, and make her pose in a variety of attitudes, merely so as to have the pleasure of commanding her to stand in such and such a way. She obeyed me with docility and was kind, loving, and tender to me all day, looking very bewitching both in front of my camera with her big red burning lips, and afterwards during our pleasant ride, in a bicycle costume with a divided skirt.