I told her that I could offer her a nice lunch, with lots of love and nothing else, but she could come out on a Friday, which was a day of mortification, and then all would be well. That I often thought of her in London, and imagined her running about with her madcap, lustful friend, Charlotte, to all the fashionable massage shops. I said that I did not expect an answer, as I knew the fate reserved by women for men who were “stone-broke.” I added that she could understand my letters much better now, as her mind was more developed and she was more open in every way. Also, that I had focused the X-rays upon her and now saw through her plainly. I said I was off again, back to Paris on the ninth.
ERIC ARVEL TO JACKY.
Sonis-sur-Marne. February 11, 1899.
My dear Jacky,
I have been endowed with a fair share of laziness. Of this you must be convinced, since I have not written to you. I have been “going to" every day, but the sun in the South is so intimately connected with
dolce far niente,
that my good intentions have only added to the paved surface of another place. I must thank you very much indeed for your weekly installment of papers, the last of which enabled me to return home without experiencing the tedium of the journey. I must confess a weakness in favor of
Pearson's, Tit-Bits,
and
Answers.
The pups are in splendid condition, and Lilian is anxious to receive her first installment as a breeder.
When will you come down and see the dogs, so as to advise about the advertisement, putting us on a par with the dukes and princes who ask the public if they want to “buy a dawg.” How would Monday do for you? Lilian takes a holiday and would be free. With kindest regards to all at home, believe me to remain,
Yours very truly,
ERIC ARVEL.
Monday, February 13, 1899.
I was very pleased to visit the Arvel family again, but had I not still had some lingering lust for the daughter-mistress of the house, I ought to have broken off the connection there and then. The girl told me plainly enough that she wanted to be paid to come out to lunch, and when I coolly replied that I had no money for her, does not take the trouble to answer my letter, but gets me invited instead to come and see her at her house, and makes Papa write the letter and mention her name twice in it.
I arrived with all my little presents, as usual, and was cordially received, especially by Mamma, who was delighted with her tea, and was not surprised to find that I should bring her from London just the very thing she wanted!
Lilian was very gay and sprightly. She was dressed more coquettishly and with greater care than formerly, and her lips were artificially reddened, without counting a new beauty-spot on her cheek, made with a careful application of a caustic pencil. Liberal use had been made of her special musky mixture, and she perfumed the whole house with the delirious odor that now evaporated slowly from her redolent skin, puffing up mixed with her natural armpit scent. In fact, all her maiden grace had departed and she looked like a brazen strumpet. She spoke up boldly, and her mother seemed quite subdued now, albeit on good terms with her, but I may say at once, to save me alluding to it too often, that her behavior with her Papa was perfectly free and outrageous, and she never left him a moment's peace. I could see he greatly enjoyed what appeared to me to be her complete seduction of him, and I, to my shame, am obliged to confess that her coquetry with the old man had a most libidinous effect upon me, and I was in a fever of lust every time she mauled and patted and petted him in my presence. I think he liked to be cajoled in front of me. Very likely it excited him to think I was jealous, and no doubt Lilian had not yet told him that Jacky positively liked her to have as many men as it might suit her to enjoy.
Raoul was there, and he seemed to be getting on very well at Belfort, never having been punished yet. Papa was just as furious against him. They were at daggers drawn, and I was perfectly certain that if the elder man so hated him, there were some reasons connected with jealousy of the sister, for I could find no other cause for this bitter feeling against the lad.
Lilian had got into her head that she should go up to Paris with her brother the next day, and join in the riotous fun of the boulevards, watching the maskers, and reveling in confetti-throwing. She made out that her parents would not let her go alone with Raoul, and so she asked me at table if I would take care of her, and meet her and her brother in Paris, to spend the afternoon with them. Of course, I accepted, and after strong opposition by both Papa and Mamma, the motion was carried.
I did not get to speak privately with Lilian until after lunch, when she was in her workshop. Before I had hardly time to open my mouth, she explained that all was false that I had written from London. I suppose she meant that I was wrong to throw doubts on her virginity, or dare to imagine that she knocked about London “on the loose,” with Charlotte. And then she made herself so agreeable to me that I fell under the charm once more, as she informed me that she had been earnestly endeavoring to force her father to invite me often and to be great friends with me, so that we could meet more often. She also told me how I was to behave with her Mamma; how I was to praise all her cooking and above all interest myself in the welfare of her son, who the old lady adored. Lilian was so good and kind and earnest that I forgot all my grievances, and gaily accepted the situation, which seemed as if I was to be the accomplice of Papa and Lilian. This crapulous alliance suited my debauched nature, and I took the liberty to add:
“I am a virgin as far as my own sex is concerned, but if your Papa likes to violate me, he can do so. Anything to be near you!” To my surprise, Lilian took this vile proposal as a matter of course, and coolly replied with a little laugh:
“No! No! I know he would not like that, and I should not care about it either!”
We then went for a walk in the garden, accompanied by her brother, and as ever, she began to tease me. What it was about I cannot now remember, but I told her that I could not put up with wickedness from her. Then, suddenly changing her tone, she swore she was not going to alter her nature for love of me. I replied that even in that case, I should find consolation, as if she was very bad to me, I should have less regrets when the end should come, as it surely would if she did not amend her ways with Jacky. At this, as whenever I spoke of leaving her, she came round again, and in the sweetest way in the world, promised that in future she would always be good to me. I was infinitely delighted at this kind word from her, and running to the new white wall near us, I took out a pencil and wrote up the date: February 13, 1899.
We had no more words that day, with the exception that I had occasion to tell her that I knew she sometimes said she had not received letters when she had, and that the trick of
billets doux
going astray was a very old one and quite worn out. She only laughed slyly at this, and did not mind it at all. And we were all very happy together. I had never been treated so kindly by them. Papa called me his dear Jacky, and affectionately tapped me on the shoulders, asking my advice on photography, with which he was very much taken up just then, and Lilian came and praised me as much as she could in front of him, saying how useful I should be to her fond Papa, and he proposed that I should become an effectual aid. He suggested that when there were great
fêtes
in Paris-reviews, state funerals and so on-he and I should go together with his fine detective camera. After taking as many views as possible, I was to start away to Sonis with the plates, and develop them rapidly, while he stopped in Paris to write the letterpress. As soon as I could manage, I was to return to Paris with the negatives finished, and manuscript and photographs could thus be sent off to London by the night mail, and in case of need I would take everything over myself. To do all this, it was necessary that I should learn the management of all his apparatus, and the recipes of his developers, etc., and so it was agreed that I was to come to the house much more often. I was swimming in an ocean of delight, and at each project for my collaboration with Papa, my Lilian appeared with a cunning smile on her rose-pomaded lips, and a side-glance at me, as if to say: “See what I am doing for you!” In the evening, she told me plainly that she was working her Papa in an underhand way for me, and in time I should be his secretary, if I liked. Even the mother took me on one side while I was busy at the south side of the garden with some printing frames, for we were hard at work already on some views of Sonis and the house and garden, and told me that her husband had too much to do and that he ought to have somebody to help him in his writing. I replied that I had some small amount of literary talent, and should be glad to do anything he wished, and she gravely said that I should have to work with him. Can it now be wondered that I fully believed all this, and felt grateful to Lilian, as this was her doing, and all for love of me? Disinterested love, too, for she knew by this time how poor I was.