"I don't know... I don't think I could go back to them then. Even if they didn't remember, I still would. I couldn't face Kyriakos like that. Unless..." I hesitated, wondering if it might not be better never to come in contact with them again. "Can you make them forget me altogether? Make it like I've never been born?"
Niphondrew a sharp, excited breath. "Yes, oh yes. But a favor like that... a favor like that carries an even higher price..."
He'd explained it to me then, what I'd have to give in return to completely blot me from the minds of those I'd known. My soul was a given. I'd carry it as long as I walked the earth, but it would have a lease on it, so to speak. That was the standard price for any hellish deal. But hell wanted more of me: my eternal service in the corruption of souls. I would spend the rest of my days seducing men, fulfilling their fantasies for my own gain and for those whom I served. It was an ironic fate, considering what had brought me to this point.
To aid me, I'd gain the ability to take any form I chose, as well as the power to enhance my own charm. And of course, I'd have eternal life. Immortality and invulnerability. For some, that might have been benefit alone.
"You'd be good. One of the best. I can sense it within you." Imps had the ability to look into a person's soul and nature. "Most people think desire is only in the body, but it's here too." He touched my forehead. "And you would never die. You would stay young and beautiful forever, until the earth perishes."
"And after that?"
He smiled. "That's a long way off, Letha, whereas your husband's life is at stake now."
That had been what sold me. The knowledge that I could save Kyriakos and give him a new life, a life free of me where he would have a chance to be happy once more. A life where I could slink away from my disgrace and maybe even be rightfully punished. My soul—which I barely understood anyway—seemed a small price. I'd agreed to the bargain, first shaking on it, then putting my mark on paperwork I couldn't read. Niphon left me, and I returned to town. It was eerily simple.
When I returned, it was exactly as he had promised. The wish had already been carried out. No one knew me. Passing people—people I'd known my entire life—gave me the glances reserved for strangers. My own sisters walked by me without recognition. I wanted to find Kyriakos, to see if it was the same for him, but I couldn't muster the courage. I didn't want him to see my face, not ever again, even if he didn't recognize it. So I spent the day wandering, trying to accept the fact that I was gone to these people. It was harder than I thought it would be. And sadder.
When nightfall came, I retreated again to the outskirts of town. I had nowhere to stay, after all. No family or friends. Instead, I sat in the dark, watching the moon and stars, wondering what I was supposed to do now. The answer came quickly.
She rose almost from the ground, at first appearing as nothing more than a shadow, then gradually coalescing into the shape of a woman. The air vibrated with power around her, and suddenly I felt suffocated. I backed up, terror filling every part of me, my lungs unable to take in air. Wind rose from nowhere, whipping my hair and flattening the grass around me.
Then, she stood before me, and the night was still again. Lilith. Queen of the Succubi. Lady of the Night. The First Woman.
Fear like I had never known swept over me—and lust. I had never been attracted to a woman before, but Lilith has that effect on everyone. It is fixed in her being. No one can resist her.
She wore a tall, slim shape that night, willowy and lovely. Her skin was the pale white of the aristocracy of that time— a white never achieved by those of us who worked outside regularly. Her hair was a raven's wing of black, falling in gleaming waves to her ankles. And her eyes... well, let me just say there's a reason the old myths call succubi "flame-eyed." Her eyes were beautiful and deadly, promising anything you could ever want or desire if only you would let her help you. I still can't remember what color they were, but I could not look away from them that night.
"Letha," she crooned, approaching me. The air shimmered around her, and I actually trembled now from my desire. I wanted to run but instead sank to my knees, both from respect and the inability to stand. She came to me and tipped my chin so that I had to look in those eyes again. Sharp, black nails dug painfully into my skin, and it felt wonderful. "You will be my own daughter now, spreading discord and passion for the rest of your days. You will be both punisher and tester, a creature of both dreams and nightmares. Mortals will do anything for you, just for a touch. You will be loved and desired until the earth is dust."
I whimpered at her proximity, and then she moved closer still, lifting me up so I stood before her. Those glorious lips came to mine, and that kiss shot orgasmic pleasure through my body. My cries were lost, smothered in that kiss. I closed my eyes, unable to look at her and unable to break away. I soaked into that ecstasy pulsing over and over in my body. And yet, as I let that bliss consume me, something else happened too.
My mortality was being stripped away.
It felt like disintegrating, like I had become ashes in the wind. I wondered if that was how death felt. Like you were nothing. Gone. Then, just as quickly, I was put back together, myself once more. But I could feel the power burning through me now, different from the life that filled humans. My immortality shone like a star in the night, cold and pure. No longer would old age threaten. No longer would sickness haunt me. No longer would my flesh be passionately driven by the knowledge that time was short, that I had to leave my mark on the world. That I had to pass on my blood.
I opened my eyes, and the onslaught of pleasure disappeared. So did Lilith. I stood alone in the darkness, quivering with my newfound power. And with that power, I could feel something more: an itch in my flesh. An itch that told me my skin could become anything I wanted it to be with only a thought. I was reborn. I was empowered.
And I was hungry...
"What's wrong?"
Blinking back tears, I looked up at Carter. He stood in the doorway to my bedroom, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes, face concerned.
"Nothing," I muttered, burying my face in my pillow. "No nephilim ?"
"No nephilim." An awkward pause followed. "Look... are you sure you're okay? Because you don't look okay."
"I'm fine. Didn't you hear me?"
He still wouldn't give up, though. "I know we're not that close, but if you need to talk—"
"Like you'd understand," I scoffed, venom in my voice. "You've never had a heart. You don't know what it's like, so don't even pretend like you do."
"Georgina."
"Go. Away. Please."
I turned back toward my pillow, waiting for another protest, but none came. When I dared a peek, the angel was gone.
CHAPTER 19
Carter brought me daffodils the next morning. I had no idea where he could have found them this time of year. He'd probably teleported to another continent.
"What are these?" I demanded. "You aren't coming on to me after all, are you?"
"I'd bring roses for that." For the first time since I'd known him, the angel looked embarrassed. "I don't know. You seemed upset last night. I thought... I thought these might cheer you up."
"Thanks... that's nice, I guess. About last night... when I snapped at you..."
He shook it off. "Don't worry about it. We all have moments of weakness. It's how we recover from them that really counts."
I put the daffodils in a vase, considered putting them on the counter. Roman's bouquet, now wilting, was already there, and the red carnations I'd bought the night Duane had died had long since been thrown away. It seemed unfair to give Roman's flowers competition, so I put Carter's on the windowsill in my bedroom.
After that, the days fell into a comfortable routine. Carter and I never became best friends, but we managed a sort of pleasant equilibrium. We hung out together, watched movies together, and even on occasion cooked together. The angel turned out to be pretty dapper in the kitchen; I was still inept.