The hand that had been in me left as he laid himself on top of me. He pushed my thighs apart and thrust in with a force that contradicted his earlier shyness. In fact, his face showed no nervousness whatsoever anymore. He was all eagerness and desire, emitting small grunts each time he shoved himself into me.
“Harder,” I told him, giving him big, passionate eyes. “I want it harder.”
He obliged, increasing the speed and force. After about a minute of this, he shifted up so that he was kneeling. Holding my thighs just below my knees, he spread my legs far apart and leaned in. The new position allowed him to get deeper, and I exclaimed my approval, urging him again to do it harder and harder.
Steadily, I felt his life energy begin to flow into me. It was a decent amount, and it felt glorious, spreading through my being and reinvigorating me. With it came his thoughts and feelings, at which point I learned he never had actually cheated on his girlfriend before—but, oh, he’d wanted to plenty of times. She barely crossed his mind at the moment. He was too consumed by me to feel much guilt. The only brief concern he had was that he should have used a condom. That was a regret, but it wasn’t strong enough for him to stop, not when I felt this good.
I let my cries escalate into small screams and felt him grow closer and closer to coming. My head was getting dangerously close to the headboard, but the roughness of it all was really turning him on. He’d never had the opportunity to just go so wild. Harder and harder he went, thrusting himself in all the way each time. The energy increased by leaps and bounds, and just before the big moment came, I decided to drive home the guilt a little. It made me feel some guilt in return, but at the end of the day, guilt marked the soul, and that was what Hell employed me for.
“Can she do this?” I panted. He was half a second from coming. “Can your girlfriend take it like this?”
The orgasm exploded—and so did he. He pulled out at the last second, not because of what I’d said but because this was his solution to the condom problem. Withdrawal was a horrible safe sex method, but whatever. His body spasmed and he came on my stomach. It was warm against my flesh, and he watched with a perverse fascination.
Yet, just before it had happened, I’d felt my dagger hit. He’d been so consumed by lust that he’d been able to block his girlfriend out earlier. My comment had pushed her to the fore-front, but there had been no way he could stop what he was doing by that point. I’d felt the spike of guilt, just as the last burst of life energy sparkled through me.
He fell back against the covers, gasping and exhausted. Losing some of your life will do that to you. Whatever thoughts of guilt or satisfaction he felt now were his alone. The towel was still conveniently on the bed, and I used it to clean myself up. I stood up and walked over to the window while he still tried to catch his breath. He’d probably fall asleep in a few minutes.
“Oh, hey,” I said cheerfully. “My friend’s out there with the key.” I picked up the sodden dress and headed for the door. “Thanks for letting me hang out.”
Chapter 7
“You’re right,” said Roman the next morning, ruminating over what had happened with Gavin. “I didn’t like that.”
I was standing in the bathroom, going over my hair with a flat iron. It was a pain in the ass compared to shape-shifting, but I liked the challenge. Plus, I could always fine-tune the frizziness away afterward.
“Not like it’s the first time it’s happened,” I pointed out, my eyes on the mirror rather than where he leaned in the doorway. “You used to never mind.”
“Didn’t I?” he asked dryly.
“Well, being with him distracted me from wallowing in self-pity. Not that it made me feel that great either,” I admitted. “But it kept my…whatever…away. And hey, it couldn’t have been as nasty as what you saw Simone do.”
“True, but now that guy’s just going to come trolling around all the time. He’ll be showing up to borrow cups of sugar in the hopes he can score some more action.”
“I’ll deal with him. I’ve got a little practice in pushing guys away.”
“Don’t I know it.”
I paused to shoot him a glare. “Will you lay off the attitude this morning? You’re starting to sound like you’re jealous or something.”
Roman snorted. “Hardly. Why in God’s name would I be jealous over the woman who got my sister killed and tried to unleash the forces of Heaven and Hell to destroy me?”
Fair point. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Oh, yes, I’m sure.” He crossed his arms and stared down at the floor. “But maybe the next time you’re looking for distraction, we could rent a movie and microwave some popcorn instead of fucking the neighbors.”
“You have horrible taste in movies,” I mumbled. But that closed the conversation, and Roman wandered off. A few moments later, I heard the TV turn on.
I had to work today, but it was an afternoon shift. I was up and ready to go early because I wanted to visit Erik. I should have felt secure in Jerome’s ability to figure out what was going on, as well as Roman’s protection. But I’d had too much shit happen to me in the past to ever fully trust anyone. Erik had always proven a valuable resource.
Roman went with me, covertly, but it took a while for me to actually get some quality time with Erik. He had customers in the store—which was great for him, but I could hardly discuss immortal affairs with others around. When the people finally thinned out, Erik turned his attention to me, ready with his typical friendly smile. His color looked better, and his movements weren’t as jerky. He was still weak, just not as weak.
“Your cold’s cleared up,” I said.
His smile grew. “Yes, I told you it was nothing. A mere cold isn’t going to kill me off.”
His voice was light, but I couldn’t help a small frown. There had been something in his words—something I couldn’t quite put my finger on—that made it sound like he did know what was going to kill him. A chill ran down my spine. I didn’t like to think of those sorts of things.
I sat down at his little table with him but declined tea. “I just wanted to see if you’d learned anything else.” It was a nervous impulse on my part. I knew he would have contacted me if he had discovered something.
“No, but as I said, the information we have is vague enough for it to be any number of things.”
“That’s what Jerome said.”
Erik looked pleased. “I’m glad he knows. I’ve always said that your own people are more likely to know better than me.”
I couldn’t help a small laugh. “Debatable. I might have something to make it a little less vague.” Briefly, I explained my recent encounter and how it had occurred to me that this force only visited when I was troubled and depressed. “It’s like…it’s like it’s preying on my weakness. Trying to lure me in with promises of comfort.”
“Then you must be careful not to give in.”
If Roman had said that, I would have snapped at him for stating the obvious. “It’s easy to say that now, in the cold light of logic, but when it happens…I don’t know. I lose my grip on the world. Reason’s gone. Hell, half the time I don’t even know what’s happening until afterward. It’s like…sleeping. Sleepwalking. Whatever.”
“And it always appears as a type of doorway?”
I pondered this for several seconds. “I don’t know…kind of. I don’t know how to describe it—and I know I keep saying that. And how useless it sounds. I’m not sure if it’s a door, exactly, but it’s definitely trying to pull me into something.”
Erik had made himself tea and sat for almost a minute sipping it, his brow knit in thought. “I’ll think about all of this. In the meantime, I’d just advise…” He hesitated. “Well, let me put it this way. You are a delight, Miss Kincaid, and I always enjoy my time with you. However, you are also—how can I say this—someone frequently given to darker moods.”