She dropped the counselor as soon as she managed to get through high school. She got a job in Cedar Rapids as a clerk in a Target store. She lasted three weeks. She took her pay-check and bought a very sexy dress and then she started hanging out in the lawyer bars downtown. Her first couple of months, things went pretty good. She hadn’t found a guy who’d make her an official kept woman, but she’d found several guys who’d give her a little money now and then, enough money for a nice little apartment and a six-year-old Oldsmobile.
But things did not go well after a time. She caught the clap and profoundly displeased a couple of the men who gave her money. Then she ran into two men who were long of tongue but short of wallet, a car salesman who drove them around in sleek new Caddies, and a supper club owner who wore her like a pinkie ring. They were full of promises but had no real money. The Caddie man had two wives and two alimonies; and the supper club man owed the IRS boys so much in back taxes, he could barely afford a pack of gum. He’d had a supper club over in Rock Island several years back, and he’d been charged with tax evasion, later dropped to a simple (if overwhelming) tax debt.
Then, the worst thing of all happened. On the night of her twenty-sixth birthday, Angie got busted for prostitution. She was in a downtown bar sitting with a couple of hookers she knew getting birthday party drunk, when one of the lawyers suggested they all go out to his houseboat. Well, they did, and the cops followed them. Angie insisted that she accepted gifts but never cash for sex per se but it was a distinction apparently too subtle for the minds of the gendarmes. They hated these two particular lawyers and were gleeful about arresting them. Cedar Rapids had a new police station and Angie was impressed with it. She saw a couple of cute young cops, too, and thought she wouldn’t mind dating a cop. It was probably fun. She was booked and fingerprinted and charged. It all, like much of Angie’s life, had a dream-like quality. She was just walking through it — as if her life was a TV show and she was simply watching it — the reality of her trouble not hitting her until the next day when her name appeared in the paper. The Cedar Rapids paper was read by everybody in her hometown. Angie called home and tried to explain. Her mother was in tears, her father enraged. They told her not, definitely not, to attend the family reunion two weekends hence.
Now it was two years later and Angie was living with Roy, who robbed banks and killed people when he thought it was necessary. She saw plainly now that he was never going to have the kind of money it took to make her a kept woman. Hell, he’d even hinted a few times that she should get another waitress job to help out with the rent and the food. Plus, there were the people he’d killed, three that she knew of for sure. The only one that really bothered her was his wife. Killing his wife was a real personal thing, and it scared Angie. Killing his own son scared her even more.
She spent the afternoon getting depressed about her bikinis. School would be out in a week. Swimming pools would be opening up. Time to flaunt her body. But this year there was too much of her body to flaunt. She’d put on twenty pounds. Ripples of cellulite could be seen on the back of her thighs. She wished now Roy hadn’t talked her into getting his name tattooed on both her boobs.
At three-thirty, Jason came home. He was a skinny, sandy-haired kid with a lot of freckles and eyeglasses so thick they made you feel sorry for him. Kids like Jason always got picked on by other kids.
Something was wrong. He usually went to the refrigerator and got himself some milk and a piece of the pie Angie always kept on hand for both of them. Roy had a whiskey tooth, not a sweet tooth. Then Jason usually sat at the dining room table and watched Batman. But not today. He just muttered a greeting and went back to his little room and closed the door. Something really was wrong and she figured she knew what it was. She slipped a robe on over her bikini — you shouldn’t be around him, your tits hangin’ out that way, Roy said whenever she wore a bikini around the trailer — and went back to his room and knocked gently. She could never figure out what he thought of her. He was almost always polite but never more than that.
“I’m asleep,” he said.
She giggled. “If you were asleep, you couldn’t say ‘I’m asleep.’ ”
“I just don’t feel like talkin’, Angie.”
She decided to risk it. “You heard us talkin’ last night, didn’t you, Jason?”
There was a long silence. “No.”
“About your mom.” No.
“About what happened to her.”
There was another long silence. “He killed her. I heard him say so.”
So Roy was right. The kid had heard.
She opened the door and went in. He lay on the bed. He still had his sneakers on. A Spawn comic book lay across his chest. Sunlight angled in through the dirty window on the west wall and picked out the blond highlights in his hair.
She went over and sat down next to him. The springs made a noise. She tried not to think about her weight, or how her bikinis fit her. She was definitely going on a diet. She was going to be a kept woman, and one thing a kept woman had to do was keep her body good.
She said, “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t have nothin’ to do with it, what he did, I mean.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”
“And I also wanted you to know that your daddy isn’t a bad man.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Sometimes he is. But not all the time.”
“He broke your rib, didn’t he?”
“He didn’t mean to hit me that hard. He was just drunk was all. If he’d been sober, he wouldn’t have hit me that hard.”
“They say in school that a man shouldn’t hit a woman at all.”
“Well,” she said, “you know what your daddy says about schools. That they’re run by Jews and gays and colored people.”
He stared at her. “I’m gonna turn him in.”
She got scared. “Oh, honey, don’t you ever say that to your daddy.” She knew that Roy was looking for an excuse, any excuse, to kill Jason. “Promise me you won’t. He’d get so mad he’d—”
She didn’t need to finish her sentence. She sensed that the kid knew what she was talking about.
She said, “Is that a good comic book?”
“Not as good as Batman.”
“Then how come you don’t get Batman?”
“I already read it for this month.”
“Oh.”
She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. She’d never done that before. He was a nice kid. “You remember what I said now. You never say anything in front of your daddy about turnin’ him in. You hear me?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“You take a nap now.”
She stood up.
Her mother had once said, “You give a man plenty of starch and a good piece of meat, he’ll never complain about you or your cookin’.” Angie had told this to Roy once and he’d grinned at her and pawed one of her breasts and said, “All depends on what kind of meat you’re talkin’ about.” At the time, Angie had found his remark hilarious.