Debbie excused herself from her agent, her manager, the reporters, the guides, and the Indian constabulary to walk down the muddy street toward the two men who hadn't even glanced over at her.
The Oriental, in a gold kimono, was talking in the native language to two old men who were describing something with their hands. The younger white man, the attractive one with a sense of being able to do anything a woman might want, or perhaps anything he wanted for a woman, was listening. Debbie shook the multitude of bangles around her neck to make some noise. She also shook a large part of her amply endowed body. She did not believe in bras or panties.
Neither the Oriental nor the white looked up. The white man had found two Indian children to whom he gave money.
"I'm for charity too," said Debbie.
"Good," said the white man. "Why don't you buy yourself some decent clothes then?"
"Hey, you know who I am, wise guy?"
"Somebody who needs a good wash and possibly a simonize. Where did you get that color hair?"
"Does the Chinaman know who I am?"
"He's Korean, and I don't think so."
"If this wasn't so insulting I'd laugh. It's really funny, you know? Really funny. Do you know who you're ignoring, Mr. Nobody? I ain't never heard of you. "
"What's bothering you?" said Remo.
"You, wise guy. You," said Debbie, poking him in the chest. The chest muscles seemed to catch at her purple fingernails. She noticed the Korean had even longer fingernails than she did. She wondered how he kept them that way.
"Well, then leave," said Remo.
"What'cha doin' here? Whose agent are ya?"
"If you knew, little girl, I'd have to kill you," said the white man with a friendly smile indicating that perhaps he was joking. But Debbie felt a tingling sense of danger.
"I'm here helpin' dese people. I don't just throw a coupla bucks at kids. I'm gonna earn 'em millions. Make 'em rich. Show da world how to treat people. You know much about music?"
"Not much," said Remo.
"That explains it," said Debbie. "No wonder. I'm a big rock star. Youse guys heard about rock, ain't cha?"
"Music?" said Remo.
"Yeah. Music. Maybe you heard my songs but don't know it's me, right?"
"Could we do this some other time?" said Remo.
"Hey, I'm the most desired woman in the world. Don't you brush me off, punk. You hear?" said Debbie. She pushed her fingernail into him again. For the last three years since her hit single "Rack Me, Rip Me" shot her to the top of the charts, she had discovered two ways to get anything she wanted, legal or illegal. One was to ask for it and the other was to demand it. Now she was demanding.
And there was a person actually refusing. He was saying no to Debbie Pattie.
"Hey, what's your name? You don't have to kill me if you tell me that."
"It's Remo. Leave me alone or stand downwind."
"Wise guy. What'cha make, Remo?"
"I make myself happy."
"Money, jerk."
"I don't count it," said Remo.
On hearing that the Korean sighed but continued his conversation with the old men of the village. Even though she didn't understand the language, Debbie Pattie knew the old men were telling the Korean they didn't know the answers he sought. Their shoulders shrugged and their worn brown faces wrinkled in dismay. She thought they were cute, the way they squatted in the Indian dust. But the wise guy was absolutely beautiful. He seemed to move gracefully even when standing still.
"You wanna work for me? I'll pay you more than ya gettin' now."
"Hey, kid. Leave us alone. You don't even know what we do. "
"I know I can buy you, punk."
"Well, you're wrong. So good-bye."
"You know how many guys'd kill demselves just to touch me once? So how come you don't even ask me about myself? Ask me what I sing. Ask me what I do. How about it?"
Debbie transferred the peach-sized wad of gum to the other side of her mouth. Remo noticed even the gum was off-color.
"Will you go then?"
"Yeah. I'll go."
"All right, what do you sing?"
And there in a side street of Gupta, India, Debbie sang the first few bars of her new smash hit, "Collapse." The Indians who didn't leave immediately covered their ears instead. Remo stood transfixed. He thought she was having a fit. Chiun glowered at her interruption.
"Okay. Thank you. Good-bye," said Remo.
"That song made me three million bucks," said Debbie.
"Did they bribe you to stop?" asked Remo.
"You know, you're impossible. You don't know who I am. You don't know who you're talkin' to. You don't know nothin'. That's ignorant. You're ignorant. You and your old friend there. Ignorant. Uneducated. So buzz off, I'm leavin'. "
In a whirl of off-colored bangles and layers of rags, Debbie Pattie turned to leave.
"Genaro Rizzuto said there'd be people who hated you just for doin' good," she snorted.
Remo looked up from the little children. "Is he a lawyer?"
"A decent one, too. Not just a little money grubber like in show business. A decent human being, part of people helpin' people. Not like you."
Remo trotted after Debbie in the dusty street of Gupta.
"Look, I may have made a mistake. I don't know rock music. I don't know how those things work." Debbie waved her hands in the air, signaling she wanted to be left alone.
"I want to apologize for being rude," said Remo.
"I don't want to know you because you're ignorant. An idiot. An uneducated idiot. That's what youse guys is."
"You're right. Rizzuto is part of a law firm, isn't he?"
"One of the best. Get lost."
"You don't mean that," said Remo. He was going to work on her sensory system but he wanted to do it from upwind. He didn't know what she bathed herself in, but whatever it was, it was putrid. Now that he was willing to be friendly she wanted no part of him. He glanced back and saw Chiun silently, like the wind, move up the street toward him and the rock star.
In Korean he told Chiun this girl knew one of their targets was around, but he couldn't get her to talk. He had insulted her in some way.
"In what way?" Chiun asked in Korean.
"I told her to get lost," said Remo.
"Sometimes people can take that in a negative way," said Chiun in Korean, and then in English he called out after Debbie Pattie in what Remo recognized as one of those awful ung poems praising all nature and the power of the universe. Unusually, though, he did so in English translation.
"O radiance, that renews for all eternity. O shower of glory that blesses the little people beneath her, whose divine countenance radiates eternity and all-consuming power, we bless your eternal breath."
Debbie Pattie stopped in her tracks. She turned abruptly to Remo and Chiun.
"Yeah. Now that's a friggin' hello, already. Did you hear that?" she said, pointing to Remo.
"I heard it."
"He's a friggin' gentleman. You're a jerk, but a cute jerk."
"What wisdom," said Chiun with a little bow. Debbie Pattie posed in a grotesque parody of a statue, her head cocked to one side and one arm up, the wrist dangling limply. She looked Chiun and Remo up and down, and came to a decision.
"I like youse guys. You're hired. Go to my manager. He'll get you on the payroll. You, the young one, be in my van with your clothes off in a half hour. I may be there. I may not. Stay ready. Okay?"
"Excuse me, most gracious maiden," said Chiun, who was not about to endorse any union between his Remo and some painted hussy who might be diseased or, worse, bear a child without Chiun knowing her lineage.
Remo, Chiun knew, was fond of that slothful and self-indulgent habit even found in the Orient, of copulating for pleasure. This to Chiun was as ridiculous as eating food not for its nourishment but for its taste. In either sense, however, this jangling ragpicker in front of them was totally unsuitable.