Even then, laying there in the bed of flowers, staring up at a magnificent world, I saw the little picture. The pony in the clouds. My mom didn’t want us to see ponies. She wanted us to see something more. She let go of my hand and raised up on one elbow, giving her undivided attention solely to me.
“Gabby, tell me you see more. Tell me you see the universe. Something bigger than yourself,” she begged with her hand over my heart.
“Bigger than myself?” I didn’t get it. Not because I wasn’t smart. I was. Just not the same smart as Izzy.
“Yes, Gabriella. Bigger than you. In here. Don’t ever settle. You go get anything you want. Promise me that.”
“I promise,” I said while assuring something I didn’t even understand. For whatever reason. Izzy did understand it. Maybe she got the crazy gene. Who knows?
I pulled a flower from the ground, uninterested in my mother’s intangible beliefs. “These are California poppies. They close up at nighttime. And they don’t smell good. They smell like fish.”
My mom sighed and laid back, taking both our hands again. It was just one of those things you were born with, a spirituality that you felt. There’s no way to really teach that. It’s just there. Inside you. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t have it.
My mom giggled and looked over at me. “Is that what that smell is?”
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing? You can’t be in here.”
The three of us tilted our heads to see a game warden. A hat with a large brim shaded his eyes from the sun, and he wore a dark gray uniform.
“Stay here girls,” my mom said as she pulled herself from the ground and to her feet.
“I’m sorry. We’ll go. We didn’t mean any harm. I’m, well…I’m just sort of on a mission with them. I don’t have much time.”
“Much time?” the uniformed man asked, biting the hook. My mom stepped closer to him while explaining her dilemma, the one where she had three months to live. The poppy fields would be something on her long list of things to do with her girls before she died.
That one was a really good one. The guy let us pick all the stinky flowers we wanted, and then took us into town for food. Real food. Not peanut-butter food.
We got a hotel out of the deal for free, too. Five whole nights. Some guy put brand new tires on my mom’s car, and a collection was taken for us in some church we went to with the game warden and his wife.
I loved it there. It was the home I had always craved. The stability a little girl longs for. A bed to call her own. Even though I begged my mom to let us stay, we left that afternoon. With a free tank full of gas, a basketful of goodies for Izzy and me, and an envelope full of money, we set out. Northbound to who knew where or what.
~~
My eyes opened to the sound of the ocean and a cool breeze filled my lungs. I laid still, falling into a daze and feeling of hopelessness. The curtain swayed back and forth, and bright sun glared from the marble tile. I took a deep breath and thought about my dream. It was real. I knew it was. It was a memory. That was good news. That meant I was getting better.
I was reminded of the thick leather when I moved my good leg, remembering the chastity belt between my legs. And of course I had to pee. The clock on my nightstand said it was after nine. If my kids slept in this late every day, I would be a happy mom. I managed to sit up and look for an intercom and a button. When I couldn’t find one, I knew what he meant by “it was always on.”
“Hello?” I called out to the empty room.
“Give me two. I’ll be right there,” Paxton said from the surround sound I didn’t know I had. I winced in pain when my head jerked around, hearing him from everywhere.
I reached for my crutches and hobbled to the patio, wondering when he’d come in and opened the sliding door. I hadn’t heard anything.
“Wow,” I murmured. The ocean in a distance enforced that feeling of getting better. The view was magnificent. Breathtaking. I didn’t know if it was the magnitude the ocean had on my state of mind, or if the dream had caused it. Hell, maybe it was my mother. Whatever it was, I had a sense of wellbeing. Like everything would work out the way it was supposed to work out. I felt that. I also felt the belt between my legs and the urgency to pee again.
“Would you like breakfast out there? It’s nice this time of morning. Up until about two when the sun is directly over the house. Once it’s over the house it’s nice again. Usually around five. Maybe we’ll grill out and the girls can play.”
I frowned and shifted my gaze toward Paxton’s voice. He wore a cheerful smile—too cheerful. I rubbed at my sore neck, unsure if his split personality or my whiplash had caused the pain.
Basket case.
“Um. Yeah. Okay. Are they still sleeping?”
“No. Tricia picked them up for day camp. They’re making masks out of paper plates today.” He grinned like we were a normal husband and wife, discussing our children.
“Tricia?”
“Yes, she’s the one that kept them while you were away. Where you were going is yet to be determined. How did you sleep?” he asked as his arm went around my waist. He kissed my neck and stared out to the ocean with me. “I love this time of morning here. My favorite time of day.”
I didn’t speak. I wasn’t sure when I was allowed to do that, and when I wasn’t. I didn’t say anything, but I was sure he could hear my heart beating.
His hand went up my shirt and across my stomach, up my chest, and to my nipple. Paxton sucked on my neck and twisted my erect bead between his fingers. His other hand slid up the inside of my leg while his crotch thrusted into my ass.
An instant erection was born—no doubt about it. He ground his hard rod into my ass, gliding his palm along my ribs and chest. Then he wrapped his hand around my throat and whispered with a raspy tone, “God, I fucking missed you.”
My world spun around me when he backed away, leaving me breathless with anger. At least I hoped it was anger. The faint little throb between my legs may have told the truth, but my mind could be denying it.
“For future references. You usually stay in bed until I come in and help you out of your predicament. It’s okay this time. We’ll do it in the bathroom,” Paxton explained, once again sounding like a normal husband talking about a normal task.
I sucked in a deep breath and hopped my way to the bathroom, Paxton right behind me. His hand stayed on my rear, guiding me all the way to the toilet. After he turned me to face him, he dropped to his knees and moved the three little dials. I heard the click and felt the breeze when he pulled down on the front. He gazed up to me and then turned to my butt. Paxton took great pride in sliding the thin chain from the crack in my ass. He slowly slipped it out and took my crutches from me, offering me his hand.
How sweet. Fucker.
I only took it because I needed the help to sit.
“Oh, my God, Pax. I can’t even take a piss without you? I mean Paxton. Paxton,” I repeated when I watched his face instantly turn cold. He didn’t say anything. Not one word. He glared at me with inviable darts. “I’m sorry, but I can’t pee with you watching me,” I admitted in a softer tone. More for me than him. I wasn’t interested in stroking his ego. I just wanted to take a piss without an audience.