“Are we eating any time today?” Paxton asked from the door.
I raised my Elvis knockoffs over my head and looked at him. “Yes, I’ll get it on the table. Do you want it out here, or inside?”
“Outside,” Rowan and Ophelia both answered for him.
“You’re outnumbered. Your vote doesn’t count anymore,” I said in sort of a tease while I felt him out and tried to decipher his mood.
“That’s fine. We can eat out here,” he agreed.
Paxton avoided eye contact with me and stepped toward the pool. “Who’s ready for a cannonball?” he called to the girls, sending them both into swimming frenzies. Arms and legs flailing while they screamed and tried to get away. I smiled a sad smile and walked away.
Dinner was good. Other than a couple of awkward glances, we didn’t really communicate with each other. Only the girls.
“Is there any meat in this?” Paxton questioned, fork lifting pasta from his plate.
“No, zucchini. Try it. You’ll like it.”
“Make it how you normally do from now on.”
Make it yourself. Dick.
Paxton ate half the pan of lasagna himself. I wanted to rub it in so bad, but I didn’t. I cleaned up instead. He complained about being too full, wobbled his way over to the blue-and-white striped cabana bed, and fell into it.
I took the two empty milk glasses from my girls and moved my gaze from their dad’s. “You two go wash up so we can get a little nap in.”
“I’m not tired,” Rowan assured me.
“I’m not tired, too,” Ophelia followed.
“Go lay down with your dad. There’s a nice breeze today. Just rest for a little bit. You don’t have to go to sleep.”
“Get over here, monsters,” Paxton coaxed playfully. He wrestled around with them for a little bit before they settled. One in each arm, talking about a movie. Rowan made him pinky promise that he would watch it with her, and Ophelia yawned, seconds away from the nap she didn’t need. By the time I’d gotten everything carried in and the kitchen cleaned, Ophelia was out, and Rowan was deep into explaining the movie, going into great detail of why Anna had to live in an ice house.
I didn’t really ask permission to walk to the beach. I just told him without looking at him.
“I’m going to go for a walk on the beach,” I blurted.
Rowan tried to slide from the bed, but her dad stopped her with an arm over her torso. “I want to go to, Daddy.”
“No, you stay here. Mommy needs some time to think about things. She has a lot of stuff she needs to remember really fast.”
I walked away with that. Rowan’s focus left princess Anna and moved to a movie I shouldn’t have let her see. I watched it with her. It was a cute movie with no language or nudity, but it was still PG-13. I was sure I would hear about it from Paxton.
The stupid boot on my foot was like walking in quick sand on the beach. As soon as I was out of Paxton’s sight, I took it off and enjoyed the feel of warm sand on my feet. The air was cool with a soft breeze, and the sun warmed my face. A sense of wellbeing swept over me with the light breeze, and I didn’t know what I felt. My feelings betrayed me, and I never knew what to expect. I strolled along the beach in ankle-deep seawater, trying to make sense of it all. Of anything.
One thing was for sure. Paxton’s feelings betrayed him, too. I could see it in the conflicted way he looked at me. I could feel it in the way he touched me. The way he kissed me, and the way we both seemed to be fighting it. I didn’t even like the man. Why? Pfft, everybody should fall in love when they don’t remember anything.
I glanced around at the houses in the distance, the pier up ahead, and the endless ocean. The power of the water felt familiar, but that was it. I didn’t recall anything else, but I was drawn to a rocky point. That’s the direction I went, hoping to find something to believe in. The boulders had a path of seawater flowing through them in a zigzag, and I made my way through the maze. A noticeable change in the temperature cooled my skin until I climbed up the middle rock, the safest of the clump.
The sun was high. Warm on my face with a clear blue sky. I inhaled the magnificent ocean with closed eyes, taking it all in, smelling brine and hearing the echoing caw of seagulls overhead.
“I knew you’d find your way back here,” an unfamiliar voice said from behind.
My relaxed posture stiffened and I was pulled from my meditated state. “Oh, hey. Um…Lane.”
“Yep, Lane.”
“Right, Candace’s husband. How are you?” I asked. A bit of adrenalin burst into my bloodstream, but I wasn’t sure why.
Lane laughed. “Yeah, I’m Candace’s husband.”
“It’s obvious that you want me to remember something that I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m not understanding what your deal is with me.”
“Of course not, and it sucks. You were so close, Gabby. So close.”
“So close to what?”
“Does it matter? How are things? Are you okay?”
“What things? Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Forget it. You know where I live if you need me. Have a good evening, Gabby,” Lane sadly said, eyes squinting from the sun. He nodded a goodbye and jogged away.
I had nothing to come back with. What the hell was that all about? I was so close? Close to what? I scratched my head and looked over the rocks at Lane, continuing his slow run. Confused as hell, I snorted a puff of air, frustrated with the whole damn thing. It’s one thing to have a brain injury, to not remember who you are. It’s another when you can’t even get the answers to simple questions. Sometimes, I felt like everyone wanted to keep something hidden from me. Other times, I was certain they were protecting me. But from what?
~~
Paxton and the girls were in the kitchen eating ice cream when I returned. Our eyes instantly met, and we tried to look away without the other one noticing. We failed. Our eyes did that on their own. I know I didn’t have any control over it. I didn’t even want to like the guy.
“I wanted to go for a walk with you,” Ophelia whined in a pout.
“We’ll walk tomorrow. Maybe we’ll have a picnic on the beach. I found some really cool rocks you guys can climb on.”
Ophelia and Rowan giggled.
Paxton rolled his eyes, unamused. “You go there all the time. The girl’s aren’t allowed to climb on those rocks.”
I frowned, wondering why. A little kid would have a blast on those rocks. Surely we did it behind his back. I didn’t comment. It wouldn’t matter what I thought. Paxton was the boss. Paxton was King of his castle.
“I’m going to grab a shower. Finish up so you can get yours, too, girls,” I said with a kiss to the back of each of their heads.
Paxton followed me out, stopping me just outside the door. “You need to ask me first.”
“Ask you what?” I asked, eyes darting right to his. Ugh. I even asked in a seductive tone. What the hell?
“If you can shower.”
“I’m not going to do that, Paxton.”
“Then I’m going to beat your ass.”
“Darn,” I sarcastically said, and stomped away. Yup, I poured fuel on the fire and I didn’t know why. I was possessed around the man. That was the only explanation.
Needless to say, I still didn’t get to find out what I had written. Not one clue. Paxton worked in his office and the girls and I watched a Disney movie and colored a princess. I could see Paxton on my left behind his desk, door open
“I like this mommy better,” Rowan nonchalantly said without looking up from her page.