“You know what? Let’s forget this stupid schedule. Here, tear it into little pieces,” I said while ripping the page in half.
“Daddy’s gonna be mad,” Ophelia said with great assurance.
“Daddy will get over it. Let’s go home, make a lunch, and head down to the beach.”
“Yay!” they both yelled in unison.
I didn’t even care that Paxton would go nuts. This was absurd, and I was finished before I ever started. They could do two things. That was enough. If Paxton didn’t like it, he could take off work and keep track of it. My mind wasn’t ready for that. I thought about my dream with a heavy heart. I knew that was the last time I saw my sister, and it made me sad. I missed her.
We did make it to the grocery store, and once again, I did my own thing. I didn’t buy the hotdogs, the sausage patties, or the ham-hock. What the hell was that for? Again I thought about how pissed Paxton would be, and again I didn’t care.
I was sure that Paxton’s bark was worse than his bite. I mean, what was he going to do, spank me? He hadn’t even grabbed my face or my throat in quite a while. And if he did, oh well. I couldn’t do this. It was stupid.
Rowan and Ophelia didn’t mind. They were elated to go to the beach and have a picnic. I needed a drink, and a moment to think about the separation from my sister.
“You guys can pick two things. You can pick one and you can pick one,” I told the girls while I overstepped my boundaries as we all put away groceries.
“I just want to do the golf ball,” Ophelia said while giving me her one and only pick.
“Don’t open those, Phi. We’re going to eat lunch,” I said as I watched her try to open the bag of pretzels. “What about you, Row-row?”
“Hmm, maybe I’ll just do golf, too.”
“No, you can do golf and something else. You can pick something, too,” I said as I placed two cans of soup in the pantry, explaining that she didn’t have to pick the same one.
“Do you like gymnastics or piano, Phi?”
I stopped putting my groceries away and smiled down at them. She wanted to make sure Phi was okay with her decision. They did love each other. Hurray.
“Well, I forgot about piano. I like that.”
I tossed a bag of noodles to Rowan and solved the problem. “Tell you what. We’ll do three. Golf, piano, and gymnastics. How’s that?” Both girls agreed with yeses.
“Go put your swimsuits on while I make us lunch,” I said, wiping something sticky from the island. Chocolate milk maybe.
I took a deep breath and searched out my buzzing phone. A text message from Paxton.
Paxton—How’re things going?
I twisted my lips to the side and thought about how to reply. It wouldn’t really be a lie if I said fine. They were fine. Just not up to his par.
Gabriella—Fine. How’re things with you?
Paxton—Ha,ha, funny … How’re are the girls? Everything okay?
Gabriella—Yes. Everything is fine. Stop worrying. I’ll see you later.
Paxton—Did you get the roast? Make it for supper. Corn and mashed potatoes. Make a brown gravy and some sort of bread. Rolls.
Gabriella—What would you like to drink with that?
Paxton—I’m just going to ignore that for now. I’ll take it out on your ass later. Take care of my cubs.
Gabriella—I’ll be waiting, and of course I’ll take care of them. They’re my cubs, too.
“You can fix this?” Ophelia asked with both her hands behind her back, wearing her swimsuit in some weird way. I had to remove the whole thing to figure out what part she had over her head. It was all twisted up.
I played with my girls. We ate fresh salads, and peanut butter and jelly. We used seashells to dig a ditch, and made a lazy river out of sand. Ophelia and Rowan made a game out of it, using their juice boxes as boats. We climbed high up on the boulders that Paxton had forbidden us to climb, and we laughed. A lot. All in all, I’d say they had a great day. A great day without all the distractions.
We ended our beach day leaned against one of the giant rocks. One tired little girl under each arm. The tide tickled our toes and we stared out to the endless ocean, the sun high above our heads.
“I like this better than dance. Can we do it tomorrow, too?” Rowan questioned, green eyes beaming up to me.
I brushed her wet, blonde strands to her back and smiled at her. “We’ll see.” I wasn’t sure how Paxton was going to handle my disobedience. I was sure it wouldn’t be pleasant. He would be pissed. No doubt about it.
Rowan told me about our last vacation. Apparently, I was sick and stayed in the hotel most of the time. I pondered if that was truth or not. I was more apt to say I was being punished. Ophelia helped with the story, telling me about the zip line they slid down. Even though I wouldn’t have remembered it anyway, it still hurt my heart a little. I wanted to experience that with them.
“Let’s head home, girls. We need to get cleaned up and start supper.”
“Can we help?” Rowan asked as she took my hand to pull me to my feet.
“Of course you can help. Let’s make spinach casserole.”
I walked back toward our house hand in hand with Rowan and Ophelia, talking about Rowan going to first grade, and Ophelia was going to have a birthday soon.
“Hello, pretty girls.”
I looked up at Lane, running in shorts and sneakers right toward us. We all stopped and stood directly in front of each other. After he high-fived both girls, he smiled at me.
“What are you doing here this time of day? Shouldn’t they be into something?”
“Yeah, I screwed that up. We ditched it for the beach.”
Lane frowned and moved closer to my ear. “Gabby, you have to be careful.”
“Go ahead, girls. I’ll catch up in a minute,” I said while coaxing them both with a little push. They ran through the water, chasing the waves, or maybe the waves chased them. I angled back toward Lane, my eyebrows drawn together to match his.
“Why would you say that? Be careful about what?”
“I’m just telling you to be careful with him. He’s not who you think he is.”
“What does that mean? You’re talking about Paxton, right?”
“Yes. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Tell me what you know. What you’re not telling me.”
“I know it all, Gabby. I know what he does to you. You can still get out. It’s not too late.”
I crossed my arms and my eyebrows dipped even more. My gaze looked past him to the girls squatted over looking at something, and then staring back at Lane. “Get out? Too late for what?”
“Just know that I’m here if you need me.”
“Are we close?”
“Yes. Well, we were before this. Before you forgot who I was. Who we were.”
“Good Lord. You’re right. I don’t want to hear this. I’ll check you later.” I scratched my head and sidestepped him. He stopped me. The way his hand went around my waist and he pulled me to him, told me we were close. Closer than we should have been.
“I’m right here, Gabby,” he said in a raspy tone close to my ear. Close enough to feel his words on my skin.
I spun out of his arms more confused than ever. “Yeah, so I hear. I’ll see you around.” I didn’t give Lane time to say another word. I got the hell away from him as fast as I could, calling after the girls as I half ran, half limped.
I took special care with my looks after my shower that evening. Tight jeans with a tight brown shirt, matching tan sandals with a small heel. I tried a pair a little higher, but they scared me. I wouldn’t be welcoming anymore broken bones for a while. Probably never. I thought maybe if I looked good he wouldn’t be too mad about my day. It was just a matter of time before one of the girls told him our plans, or our plan to cancel out his plans.