“Okay, just sit there and relax. We’ll get your bed changed and get you something for the pain.”
Needless to say, my resting on the toilet in the awkward positon brought forth number two. The nurse was right outside my door, humming to a familiar tune, but I didn’t want her. I fought through the pain to wipe myself, too embarrassed to ask for help. That decision was regretted along with the one to walk to the bathroom in the first place.
I was in so much pain. Not quite as much as the night before, but close. As much as a hot shower sounded amazing, I couldn’t do it. It was too much.
“You would feel much better if you let us help you shower. Maybe put a little makeup on for that good-looking husband of yours.”
“He’s not my husband,” I said out of anger, assuring the stupid nurse with an insolent tone.
“I’m sorry. I know this must be hard for you. That was inconsiderate of me.”
Well, damn. Her smile and soft tone attenuated my attitude. My stiff posture relaxed and I recanted, but only on the outside. The inside was still angry, confused, and fed-up. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I just wanted to wake up and know. Know everything. None of this was right. I didn’t feel like Gabriella Pierce. The gospel tune nurse Julie hummed sounded more familiar than this.
My shoulder felt like it was popping out of socket when I slowly raised my arm. I scratched my itchy scalp and I withdrew again. My hair felt disgusting and I suddenly felt dirty, but I was in too much pain. I couldn’t do it. The debate on whether to shower or not lasted for two seconds before I even made a decision.
“I’ll take a shower, but I need something for the pain first.”
“Good girl,” the nurse said with a pat to my shoulder. Thank God the shower had a seat right in the center. The embarrassment that I felt before was long gone. I didn’t mind a bit that she did the washing. Everywhere. The only thing that mattered was the pain. It was too much. I needed to lay down. As much as I wanted to brush my teeth, a quick drive by once over was all I could manage. At least it was better than nothing.
My hospital bed felt amazing. I was clean, my bed was clean, and I was ten times more comfortable than when I was up. As soon as my muscle spasms stopped, I relaxed and closed my eyes. My breaths whistled between my teeth and my hand gripped the railing on my bed, praying for comfort.
“Are you sure my hip’s not broken?” I asked through painful gasps. Julie moved my leg as little as possible, situating it back into the brace, securing it with straps.
“It’s not. You have a fracture right here,” she directed with her finger, just below my knee. “Your ankle has a fracture, too,” she explained.
I half listened, feeling the pain medication kick in. I gave up as soon as she covered my legs, dropping my head to my pillow. My hand pressed in on my right side, trying to ease the pain in my ribs and chest. The light above my head went out, and Julie told me to rest. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply. I hurt.
Nothing was in my mind. I wasn’t frightened anymore. I didn’t think about my two little girls, my husband that I didn’t know, or the accident that I couldn’t remember. The only thing that I could think about was the pain. The pain took precedence over everything. Every thought.
My silent cries did nothing but plug my nose. Tears ran down my eyes and I sniffed, trying to ease the pain.
“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’ve got you, baby,” I heard the acquainted soft voice of Paxton. The bed railing went down and his body moved in beside me. Right to the bed. I didn’t even bother to open my eyes. What was the point? Paxton laid on his side and pulled me to him. My upper body was turned into him, my head resting on his chest. I don’t know if it was him, the angle of my body, or the pain meds, but the pain did subside. For whatever reason, I did feel better in his arms. Comfort maybe.
No words were spoken between us. Paxton held me tight in his arms and kissed my forehead. That’s it. He did what any decent man would do for his wife. He took care of me.
Time didn’t seem to matter when you didn’t know who you were or where you belonged. I woke later in the same positon. Paxton’s chest. The rise and fall of his deep breathing told me he was asleep. A deep delta sleep. My eyes opened, but I didn’t move. Other than the pain I felt in the back of my knee, I felt at peace.
I looked up without moving my head when I felt the kiss to my head. “Feel better?”
A deep breath fell from my chest and I tried to move. Paxton didn’t let me. His strong arms were no match for my weak body.
“You smell better and you had a nice nap. I would say that’s a start. Wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t know you. I don’t think this is right,” I said, matter-of-factly in his chest.
“I’m not sure that I believe that, but I’ll play. Sounds interesting.”
“You’re such an ass. I bet our kids hate you.”
“They love me. You love me, too. You just don’t remember yet, but you will. There’s a lot you’re going to have to learn. You want a play games? You’ve gotta play by the rules, doll,” Paxton said as he slid from my bed, delicately moving me from his chest.
I squirmed my way to a sitting positon with the help of the bed. I didn’t know what to say. How the hell did you reply to something like that? The rules? What the hell? I chose to steer around that one. Avoid it altogether. “Where’s my mom?”
Paxton poured water from the pink pitcher to my cup. “How the fuck would I know? Drink.”
I sucked cool water from the straw when he held it to my lips only because I was thirsty. Not because he insisted. “We’ve been married for six years and you don’t know where my mother is?”
“You didn’t come with a mother. You didn’t come with anyone. Just you.”
“How can that be? Surely I have a family. Surely someone gave birth to me.”
“I’m your family. Rowan and Ophelia are your family. You’re good at this,” Paxton smirked with a finger, wiggling in the air toward me.
“And you’re an idiot.”
“Now you’re just stupid. Don’t ever call me that, or anything else again. Do you understand me, Gabriella?” Paxton questioned with a stern tone. His fingers dug into my chin and he held it there, forcing me to look into his pine-green eyes.
“It had to be lust. There’s no other explanation,” I said with a jerk. My neck hurt from the sudden jolt, but at least he knew I wasn’t about to cower to him. Not for one second.
The cold-hard-look on his face softened and he smiled. “Lust?”
“Yes, why else would I marry someone like you? Certainly not for your charm.”
“You love my charm. You just need to remember how much.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll show you,” Paxton assured me as Dr. Mirage finally came to see me when I was actually awake. About time. I mean the doctor of all people should know you can’t talk to a patient right after a high dose of narcotics.
Paxton stood by my side and held my hand. I tried to pull it away, but he squeezed, keeping it right there in his. I was no match to his strength. Not in this condition.
“How do you feel?” the short doctor asked in broken English.
“Better I think, but I still don’t remember. What’s wrong with me?”
Dr. Mirage addressed me like he was giving a lecture to a class of medical students. “The brain is a very complex organ. I wish I could answer that. It took five days for the swelling in your brain to subside. I chose to keep you in a coma for four more days after that. Your body needed the deep NREM sleep in order to heal. It helps with repairs, regrows tissues, builds bone and muscle, and strengthens the immune system. I’m very pleased with your progress. You’ve got a couple good gashes on your head. You took a pretty hard hit, but if you keep up the progress, I’ll release you to go home? Maybe Friday.”
Paxton squeezed my hand when I spoke. I could tell it was to shut me up, but I wasn’t shutting. Go home? “What day is it?”