Fr Egan has invited me over for Thanksgiving: it will be interesting to see what kind of table Detachismus sets on that day. I must tell him about St Benedict’s and Betty. I called Fr Garrelts (tomorrow I’m going to Robbinsdale), and I actually felt sorry for him, as I do for myself, as I was … before Betty. […] Pax — Jim
BETTY WAHL
150 Summit Avenue
November 20, 1945
My dear Betty,
[…] Summer is terrible here, and my job is worse (I sweat lakes), but with you it will be like being ten years old again. And we can plot our getaway for the months we’ll have to stay here. It is two blocks to the cathedral. There is Summit Avenue to take walks on. I have no friends in St Paul, but in Robbinsdale is Fr Garrelts (Fr Egan is in St Paul; you will like him) and Mr Chapman (who shuddered the other night when I saw him at the way the Irish are talking up Spellman for pope—“a terrible farce”). Fr Garrelts wants to see you, and so does Don Humphrey and his wife. Don will make the rings. It may be a funny engagement ring, as I do not think I can buy a stone and wouldn’t if I could at a jeweler’s. […]
November 20. 8:00 p.m. I was supposed to be taking a nap for the last hour. I find it easier to be up with the lights on. I see things around the room to pick up, records, pipes, the typewriter. In the dark I see you. But you are not there. So it is very discouraging and in the long run promises to be an ordeal. I am glad that you suggested an earlier marriage. It will be like getting out of jail sooner. […]
November 21, […]
9:30 in the evening. I have just finished the rough draft of the story I mentioned yesterday. It will be short, 3,000 words; I had the basic idea from Sr Mariella. I will dedicate it to her, but only as SM, as it would probably fix her for good. I call it “The Lord’s Day,” and it is about nuns who have to count the collections on Sunday afternoon in the priest’s house.5 Do not say anything about it to Sr Mariella. I promised her I would write it, but I did not think I’d get at it so soon. I am thinking of you all the time. I do not know whether I’d get more done if you were here or not here. In either case you are an obstacle to work. […]
Tomorrow Thanksgiving dinner at Madge Egan’s (Fr Egan’s mother); Fr Garrelts and others to be present. We will all be in our truest American manner. I intend to make heavy references to the Pilgrim fathers (I’m sure Fr Egan has never thought of them as anything but heretics). […]
I have a story in process about an old man who thinks that it is too bad, feeling the way he does about his wife, who has died. If we were married, I would better know how he really feels. I will have to follow my instincts, as it is. I hope my mother comes this week, so that you can come next or next or both. She is interested to know about you. She has a better perspective than perhaps you do on what it means when I say I intend to marry a girl. She knows I have never said it before. I am sure you will love her — I do not say that loosely or hopefully — I know you will. What is best in me I have from my mother, not that my father is second-rate. No, I mean that what faculty — admittedly underdeveloped — I have for listening and keeping my mouth shut I have from her. That is one of the very big things I see in you that I love and realize the absolute unique beauty of. […] Now it is almost time to put on my silly white suit and leave. I love you and am sorry if I am getting tiresome with that line. […]
Jim
BETTY WAHL
November 25, 1945
Dear Elizabeth Alice of the Sea Green Eyes,
I am taking my Royal (on loan from Egan Enterprises) in hand and endeavoring a reply to your wonderful letter rec’d this day. My mother is just to my left, on the davenport, mending things and sewing on buttons. She says, quote: “You certainly have been neglected.” We are running out of buttons (myself, I am a plain dealer and use safety pins). […]
It was most encouraging to hear that your father has been all those things. It is the first time I’ve felt good about him. You see, I know from experience I never have trouble with people who have been hoboes and so forth. Now I am watching out for your mother: a schoolteacher, whoa. […]
Now, because you have asked for it, I will tell you about me. I was born of poor and honest parents, Irish on my father’s side (County Waterford, the southernmost part of Ireland, where the name Powers, if you look it up in the Ecclesiastical Directory, is still the biggest one there, bishops, college presidents, bartenders, all have it), but his mother’s name was Ansberry and she came from Liverpool, and I do not know if that means there’s some English, but I think not, as Liverpool, a slummy place, is highly Irish and she was most definitely Catholic.
She was the woman who ruined my father’s life, I hold. He supported her instead of accepting offers he had to go to Europe and study piano (he was considered a prodigy about Jacksonville — where I was born, in Illinois — practicing the piano nine and ten hours a day, working in a music store as a player of any and all music sold there at the age of twelve. We have some of his old exercises yet; they are pages more black than white with notes). It is another curse of the Irish to throw themselves away on an aging mother or not to marry because there isn’t enough money coming in and brother John, who should undertake his share, is a first-class bastard. I am not making it up: my father had a brother John. I remember him as a tall, dark man with button shoes, gold teeth, and a large brown handful of silver from which he would select a quarter, say, and give it to you. Ten days later you would hear that he was in Boston or Spokane. He wore serge, and sometimes I think I have some of him in me.
My dad’s father came here from Ireland, the land of saints and scholars, and worked in the gashouse in Jacksonville. I know very little of him, except that he was probably taken in as my father was after him. Many children, seven or eight, and a large dog who would bite the wrong people by the name of “Guess.” What’s his name? I remember my father telling me as a child, people would ask. “Guess,” they would reply. Joke. So much for my father’s side: many unmarried children on that side, maiden literary aunts like my aunt Kate, who read to me as a child; my aunt Mame, still alive, who is being forced out of the house she did huge washings in for fifty years; my aunt Annie, dead, a Catherine of Russia type, a real dictator and organizer, who ran a grocery store with an iron hand and who would give her customers hell every morning if they didn’t order enough over the telephone. She liked me. In fact, they all liked me, because I liked them. My sister never did: she thought they were kind of crude. They were.
Turning to my mother’s side, we leave the Holy Roman Catholic Church and enter the Old Time Religion, the Methodists.6 Her mother is now living in Chicago with my father and mother and is now senile, the widow of three or four husbands, a dear old lady who should never have left the small town. She tries to go to the Methodist church in our neighborhood in Chicago, and everyone is nice, the minister shakes her hand after services, but they don’t sing right. She wants everybody to join in, and they let one woman do most of it. My mother’s father was a farmer and painter; we have some of his work, which isn’t bad at all (I’ll show it to you when we go to Chicago together). He, her father, had nice hair, just like mine, my grandmother thinks. My mother went to college, a rare thing in our families, and did a little gentle sketching. She is a gentle woman.
My father had dance bands before they were married (he had them to make money; I think he hated that kind of music) and worked for Swift and Company. He became a manager and got the idea he was a sure-enough business genius. It was dispelled in 1934. Since that time, until the war and he got this paper-shuffling job, times were tough. Now he takes pride in this job which must go the way of all war efforts. It is too bad he becomes engrossed in secondary things. I subscribed him to Time. He likes it. If he sits down at the piano now (which is all out of tune), he fumbles around, and it hurts him worse than anyone. So he gets up and sits down to Time [magazine]. The American Tragedy. I think I see what happened. I am determined it shall not happen to me. Help me.