What he did not know was if he could afford to wait that long.
“Maybe that corpse recovered on Erilon will shed some light,” Desai said after a moment.
“Hopefully on a lot of things,” Reyes countered. It was a test of will to keep from marching down to the morgue this minute and watching over Fisher’s shoulder while he and Lieutenant Xiong conducted their examination. What secrets did the body of that unknown alien hold?
In addition, Dr. Gek and his research team down in the Vault were poring over the new collection of data collected from the planet, in the hopes of learning more about the newly discovered technology storehouse. Would they find some concrete link between Erilon and Palgrenax, and perhaps even Ravanar IV and any number of other planets throughout the region? For the first time since they had begun this extended scavenger hunt, Reyes felt that his people might just be on the cusp of unlocking at least one new door that led deeper into the maze of mystery the Taurus Reach seemed to represent.
Desai said nothing for several moments, folding her arms across her chest and allowing her gaze to drop to the carpet. Her thoughts elsewhere, she seemed oblivious as Reyes watched her jaw clench, recognizing the expression as one she adopted whenever she was trying to work out a problem while weighing the need to handle things herself rather than ask for help. It was a rare instance that she appeared vulnerable to any degree and, then as now, she appeared absolutely radiant.
Finally, she looked back up to him. “Diego, why now?”
“Why what now?”
Her eyes narrowing, Desai replied, “Why tell me all of this now, after everything that’s happened?”
“Because of everythingthat’s happened,” Reyes replied, rising from his chair. “After what you’ve seen and heard, you can’t be expected to do your job if you’re still in the dark about various important details.” Stepping around his desk, he moved to stand within a few paces of her. “A lot’s going on in the name of duty and security, Rana, a lot of it unpleasant and some of it questionable: morally, ethically, legally. I need someone I can trust to guide me through some of the rough spots I know are coming.”
“What about Jetanien and T’Prynn?” Desai asked. “T’Prynn can give you all the logic you’ll ever need, and if there’s someone better qualified than Jetanien to counsel you on the military and political minefield you’re crossing, I’ve never heard of them.”
Reyes shook his head. “This is different. I need someone I can talkto,” he continued, “who’ll let me work things out while giving me perspectives I might be overlooking.”
“You mean like the colonies you try to draft as Starfleet supply depots?” Desai asked.
Despite himself, he released a tired chuckle that did much to ease the pressure he had been feeling of late. “Exactly,” he said, extending his arms toward her. “Somebody who’s not afraid to tell me when I’m wandering off course.” While it was true that Jetanien already had proven to be an invaluable source of insight into how best to deal with the Klingons and the Tholians, and T’Prynn’s particular talents were also of enormous benefit—despite the questionable methods she had employed to date—neither of them seemed suited to provide the sort of moral compass he had decided was necessary if he was to be successful going forward.
Holding her ground, Desai cocked her head as she regarded him. “Have you told me everything there is to know?”
“No,” Reyes answered without hesitation, dropping his arms back to his sides.
While it was true that they both shared deep respect for ethics and justice, Reyes knew that Desai simply would not accept as defensible some of the actions that had been taken to preserve the security of Vanguard’s true mission. If she were to learn of such things, she would be legally and ethically obligated to conduct an investigation and report her findings to higher authority—no matter what the consequences might be to the secret he and his handful of trusted confidants were laboring to protect.
That’s why you need her,Reyes reminded himself. The end has to justify the means, otherwise, what the hell are you doing here? She’ll help you see it through.
“There are also some things I probably won’t ever tell you,” he said. “I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it has to be. I can’t promise you that it won’t happen again going forward, either. There’s simply too much at stake, and for now some secrets are necessary. I won’t lie to you, or feed you disinformation, but there will be times when I can’t tell you something. You’re just going to have to trust that I’m doing it for the right reasons.”
“I do trust you, Diego,” Desai said, “which is why I terminated the Bombayinquiry. I felt it was the right decision at the time, based on what had been revealed about the attack and because I believed you hadn’t done anything negligent or illegal.” Cocking her head to the left, she glared at him. “That was before the whole mess with Tim Pennington fell out. At first, I thought he was an incredibly crafty son of a bitch who just got overeager and didn’t check his facts, but I think we both know it didn’t happen that way. He was deliberately set up to take that fall, and there’s only a handful of people on this station who could have made that happen. In fact, I’d wager there’s only one person who could’ve done it.”
Reyes said nothing.
Holding up a hand, Desai continued, “I understand operational security, Diego, but even that requires accountability. If I thought I could prove T’Prynn broke regulations, I’d have already hoisted her from the nearest yardarm. You need to know that I’m not done looking for that proof, either.” She pointed a finger at his chest. “Don’t put me in the position of having to file false reports or participating in any further cover-ups. I know you need some leeway here, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to violate the law.”
Reyes kept his expression fixed. “You’re sexy when you take a stand, you know that?”
The joke had its intended effect, as he noted the ghost of a smile play across her lips before she clamped down, driving it away. “I mean it, Diego.”
Nodding, Reyes replied, “I know you do, and frankly I expect no less from a Starfleet captain. I won’t prevent you from doing your job or following your orders, but you need to know that I’ve got my orders, too, and one of them is that operational security here has to be maintained.” Looking down at his feet, he released a sigh. “If there’s going to be any lying or covering up, I’ll be the one to do it.”
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, both of them looking at each other and contemplating the ramifications of his words. Reyes saw in Desai’s eyes the burden of what she had learned here today.
“Don’t let me catch you,” Desai said, her voice softer now as she stepped closer. “I’d hate to have you court-martialed.” She moved to where she could lay her head against his chest, and Reyes felt her arms wrap around his back, pulling him tight against her. He returned the embrace, resting his chin atop her head and reaching up to stroke her dark hair with his hand.
Holding her, Reyes could feel the tension in her body. He imagined he could sense a struggle already beginning within her, as though her unflinching devotion to the rule of law and her ability to understand the need for latitude when dealing with the unknown already were taking up arms against one another. Those forces were readying for battle, preparing for the day when, inevitably, Desai’s convictions would be put to the test as a consequence of what she now knew.
He could sympathize, given that the same war waged within him.
That such a conflict would visit Rana Desai, Reyes was certain. What he did not know was—when that time came—how it would affect her actions and feelings toward him. Would she be an enemy or an ally?