“Does this change anything between us?” asked Menish, breaking the stillness.
“How could it? The only difference is that now you know that I know.”
“I should have told you. But I was afraid you might leave me.”
“Perhaps, if you had told me all those years ago to my face, I might have felt I had to leave. When I realised what had happened for myself it didn't seem that I had to do anything.”
“Then I'm glad I didn't tell you. I felt so guilty about it. That's one reason I left Thalissa for Thealum’s men. I wanted her dead.”
“What… what was she like?”
Menish hesitated before he spoke. The Vorthenki had regarded the youthful Thalissa as beautiful. Such things had never been said of Adhara, though she was hardly ugly. But could he tell her that?
“She was Sinalth’s favourite. You know how the Vorthenki choose their women, buying or stealing them like cattle, and Sinalth was the leader of the Invaders. She was very beautiful, in the Vorthenki fashion, but she was poisonous. One evening she put something in the wine I was drinking, or perhaps I just drank too much. I don't remember much more about it. I woke the next day with a splitting headache, and she was still in my bed. I came to my senses then and threw her out of the room.
“When I met her at Lianar she was old and sad, but perhaps still a little poisonous.”
He felt he had made a full confession at last.
“And, all these years I've wanted to ask you but I couldn't, did you really love me, or was it something like the pity you showed people like Althak and Vorish?”
Menish stopped walking, taken aback by her question.
“How can you ask this? You've shown them as much care as I have. It's something we both do. Not just me. Your comment in the council about how I take these people in could've been said of you as well as me. Who found Neathy when she was lost and homeless? Who was the only woman in Meyathal who would speak to Althak for years?” He put his arm around her. “I couldn't have shown these people pity without you.”
They walked on in silence, enjoying each other’s touch without need for words for a few moments until Adhara spoke again.
“I suppose you're wondering how Mara knew?”
“Was it something to do with the rite of Protection?”
“Yes. Only women who have had children may perform the rite. While the idea that a man might do it was acceptable enough, there were ancient precedents, a man without issue was out of the question. So I had to tell them what I knew.”
“I would have thought it would make me totally unacceptable.”
“Many argued that. But no one is innocent of some crime or other. I challenged them to find someone who was. Besides, your crime was against me alone. If I choose to ignore it they had no case.”
“I'd noticed their looks, and few of them have spoken to me since then.”
“They'll forget. Meanwhile you'll have to be satisfied with me for female company.” He heard the grin in her voice, and the fact that she could joke about this more than anything else convinced him that she had, indeed, forgiven him.
Chapter 35: Resolve
It was faster descending. Thalissa had slowed the way up, and now fear and horror drove them back down. After they had crossed the gap in the stairs they travelled even faster, for they knew there were no more obstructions.
The strange designs on the walls of the stairway leered at them like phantoms now, mysterious and threatening. Unconsciously the two men found themselves glancing behind them. Tenari simply held Azkun’s arm and walked.
Their legs became tired from the endless jarring of stepping down. They felt their knees become weak with fatigue and no longer trusted their steps. But still they kept walking without pause, refusing themselves rest. Azkun would have gone on forever. He feared the end of the stairs almost as much as their beginning, for at the end of the stairs he would have to think again. Althak simply wanted to get back to the boat.
Finally their eyes discerned a dull light ahead. It grew as they approached until, quite suddenly, they came to the end of the stairs. With a sigh of weariness they passed through the first arch and climbed off the ledge onto the shelly floor of the first tunnel. From there they stumbled out onto the beach where Shelim and the boat waited.
Azkun collapsed on the beach and Althak sat beside him. It was almost sunset, they had spent nearly the whole day going up and down the stairway. The beach was wider now, for the tide was out. Althak massaged his aching legs.
“M’Lords!” cried Shelim, hurrying over from the boat where he had waited. “What happened?” he asked, seeing their blackened faces.
“Get some water, Shelim. Mine's all but gone.”
Shelim was back in an instant with a skin bottle of water. Althak took it and bathed Azkun’s arm again. He splashed some on his own face and Azkun’s to clean the dragon smoke from them. Before he could attend to her Tenari stood up and wandered away. She did not seem so badly hurt after all, and Althak assumed she had fallen flat on the ground before the dragon flame had caught her.
No one had ever returned from the Dragon Isle. Althak thought he knew why now.
“Shelim,” he said carefully, not knowing how the sailor would react. “They attacked us and killed Thalissa. We can't stay here. You have fennel in your hat.”
“Yes, M’Lord. There is a lot of it growing here. I wear it for the dragons.”
“Throw it away. We don't wish to see any more dragons.”
“You offended them somehow?” he asked.
“No… I don't know. They were like… never mind. They just attacked us.” He forced a smile. “We always knew they were dangerous, eh?”
He turned to Azkun.
“How are you now?”
“Numb,” he replied hollowly. “I cannot feel my arm and I dare not think my thoughts.”
“We'll sail when it's dark.”
“Yes.”
Tenari returned at that moment. Her hair was wet and her face cleaned. She had arranged Althak’s cloak around herself better than he had been able to.
“We can find our way back,” he said to Azkun. “Perhaps we'll reach Menish in time to help with the war.”
“How can I return empty-handed? I promised them dragons, but I have nothing.” He raised his injured arm. “I am not even proof against fire.”
Althak sighed. He was too weary to comfort him. “I too return empty-handed.”
Shelim had found a tiny stream at one end of the beach and filled their water casks from it. He brought Althak more fresh water and some food. Azkun still refused it and Tenari still ignored it. By the time Althak had eaten the sun had set and it was time to sail. Althak missed Thalissa now, for she had helped him tie the sails and Azkun was no use at such things. He helped push the boat away from the rocks, though, and Althak felt that it was good for him to have something to do rather than sit and grieve. He set him to stacking the casks of water in the hold. It was an unpleasant job because of the smell, but it kept him busy. Tenari, as always, watched him blankly, offering no help.
Shelim set a course by the stars. He had watched their direction carefully while the dolphin led them and now he knew the way home. He had only to sail westwards to find the lands of men. Every Vorthenki knew the trick of using a small plank with a hole bored in it and a piece of string to find their north-south position, so he knew with some precision how far north they were of Atonir. Of course, he knew they had sailed eastwards for almost forty days with a fair wind. It was not enough to find Kishalkuz again in the vast ocean, but it was enough to find their way straight home.
At last, when their boat had caught the wind and the sails were taut, Althak curled up on the deck for sleep, trying not to dream of dragons and trying not to think of what he would say to Menish if ever they met again. Instead he shed tears for Thalissa, something he never had expected to do.