They were sitting now, on the edge of the creek, feet hanging over the bank.
Lee leaned back, looked at the sky, took in the trees, seemed to absorb it all through his skin.
“Marilyn-does she like you?” Sunset asked.
“Not the way you’re thinking. I guess it could be that way if we worked at it. I don’t know. She seems nice. But there’s a ghost in her smile.”
“What’s that mean?”
“She’s got her own burdens.”
“Reckon so,” Sunset said.
There was a smile on Lee’s face when he said, “I believe in God, Sunset, but to me, he’s not the God you were talking about, the one you don’t trust. And I don’t know he’s a he. Don’t know God’s anything. Not anymore. I don’t think God has to do with trust or lack of trust. Nothing we pray for or want. God just is. It all come to me in just this minute, sitting here on the bank, looking up at things, the sky so blue, the trees so green-”
“They look brown to me.”
“Yeah. You’re right. They’re dry. But you see the point?”
“No.”
“Way I was taught to believe, way I believed, it was all too simple, and in a way too complex. I see that now. I’ve had like a flash of light, a kind of understanding. There’s a pattern under the false patterns we build. A connection between everything. A gathering of parts that all snap together like some penny puzzle. We sit here along this creek in the hot sun with the bugs buzzing around, water running below our feet, the sky blue, the trees… brown, and if we’re still, if we lay back, we’ll feel the Earth turning. The Earth and you, everyone else on this big old ball of dirt, all of us together, a union of parts and thoughts and purpose, spinning around and around, each and the other part of the same.”
Sunset studied him, said, “Yeah. Me and them and it. Except for all of those assholes who hate me and want to see me go to jail for killing Pete, who was trying to kill me. Those assholes who want to say I killed a whore named Jimmie Jo, and now her baby. You bet I’m in union with all of them, spinning here on this ball of dirt. In union with all of them except those assholes who hate coloreds and lynch them, even after they’re supposed to get a fair trial. In union with everyone, except my daughter, who I don’t know how to deal with. Except for this man I thought I loved, who may have done me like you done Mama. Yeah, me and this world and this universe, we’re all just one big union.”
“Okay. We’ll cut those particular folks out of my moment of revelation.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“I am.”
“Are you conning me?” Sunset said. “You conned Mama. Are you conning me?”
“My conning days are over.”
“That’s just what a con man would say.”
“You’re right.”
“I been conned by one man, maybe two now, I’m thinking, and I don’t want to be conned by my own father. I had one more worry and one less friend, I’d be Job.”
“You can depend on me. Promise you that. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be around. I’m going to make my stand here. Going to get to know you, and Karen. If you’ll let me. And Sunset, maybe I’m not the one to tell you, and maybe I shouldn’t know before you, but Marilyn, she told me. I’m not sure why, but she did.”
“Told you what?”
“Karen’s pregnant.”
“Oh, God. When could she have?”
“It’s worse.”
“How can it be worse?”
“Marilyn says the father is someone you know well, not a boy around here, a man. Guess the one you’re saying may have conned you, and I got to say probably did.”
“Hillbilly?”
“That’s the one.”
Sunset studied Lee for a lie. He smiled at her. A small smile, one that said, I’m friendly. Please don’t slap me.
“All right,” she said. “Now the worst has come.”
“You’ll handle it.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Bad as it is, you’ll do fine. And this Hillbilly, you don’t worry about him. He’s not worth it. We’ll do okay by Karen, the baby. You’ll see.”
Sunset shook her head. “You’re sure grabbing lots of problems and you haven’t known me but about an hour.”
“You seem to pack a lot into every minute.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“I owe you a lot of hours, Sunset. I just didn’t know it. Now I do. You going to let me do something about it? Be a father?”
“Is it too early to hug?”
“Probably. But we can try it anyway.”
They hugged, and she thought it would be touch and move away. Polite. But she found herself clutching him hard. Then she was crying and he was patting her back, saying, “Easy, baby. It’s okay. Daddy’s here.” She let out a single wail, like a wounded coyote, loud enough to startle birds into flight.
28
In search of Hillbilly, Clyde drove into Holiday, cruised the streets, saw him through a plate-glass window at the cafe, parked and went in.
Hillbilly sat at a table by himself drinking coffee, a saucer with a fork and pie crumbs on it at his elbow. He looked up as Clyde came in, stood over the table.
“Clyde,” Hillbilly said.
“Sonofabitch.”
“Damn, man. We’re in a public place.”
“Step outside, Mr. Song Bird. We won’t be public then.”
“We’ll be on the street, moron. That’s public too.”
“Yeah. Well, at least the furniture won’t get broken.”
Hillbilly sighed. “What’s the matter with you?”
Clyde looked around. Patrons were starting to stare. He sat down at the table, put his elbows on it, leaned forward, said, “Sunset didn’t tell me, just sent me to look for you, but I know what happened.”
“And what was that?”
“You charmed her. You gave her some line of bull-”
“I don’t do that.”
“Not with your mouth, but with your eyes, your ways. You got her to give herself to you because she thinks she loves you, and you probably did the same to her daughter. And now, you don’t show. What you doing in town, Hillbilly?”
“I quit.”
“Quit cause you got what you wanted.”
“A paycheck, Clyde. I got a paycheck. Now I can buy a guitar.”
“And you got them. Sunset and Karen.”
“She didn’t tell you that, I can bet that, so how would you know?”
“I can tell way she’s acting.”
“You’re jealous.”
“You’re right. You didn’t even tell her you quit. How come?”
“I was going to send word. Maybe drop by. Look, I got a place now.” Hillbilly gave the address. “Come see me when you cool down.”
“You sorry bastard. If a man could sell you for what you think you’re worth, he’d be a rich man.”
“I didn’t lie to anyone. I got what I wanted, but they wanted it too.”
“Sunset thought there was more to you than there is. Karen ain’t nothing but a little girl.”
“There’s an old saying, Clyde. Goes, If they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough to breed.”
“Step outside. Come on. Step outside.”
“You’re twice my size.”
“And I’m gonna give you twice the beating.”
Hillbilly sighed. He drank the last of his coffee, stood up, took coins out of his pocket, put them on the table.
They went outside. Hillbilly said, “I don’t want to make an ugly scene. Let’s go around back.”
“You don’t want to make a scene, all right. You like lying and doing your business in the dark.”
They went around back of the cafe. Clyde said, “You want a little bit at a time, or all at once?”
“Any way you want to dole it out will have to do.”
Clyde came at him then, kind of roared as he did, and he felt powerful as a bull, mad as a rabid dog, and Hillbilly wasn’t there. It was like the ground opened up and the sonofabitch was gone, because the next thing was Clyde found himself floundering at the air, felt a battering ram fall out of the sky and hit him in the ribs. By the time he realized Hillbilly had dodged and hit him with a left hook, it was too late, because now, behind it was a kick to the balls, and when he bent over, Hillbilly leaped in the air and brought his elbow down on the back of his head, hard and sharp enough to make stars leap to sight, then he was on the ground, face down, and Hillbilly was kicking him, the eye, the ribs, the arm, then the little bastard grabbed his hair, pulled his head back, and Clyde felt cold steel on his throat.