Sunset Oasis

Then I went on in the tones of one who wants to bring the conversation to an end, 'So, to be brief, you can see that the Urabists committed crimes against Egypt because they wanted the people of the country to rule it.'

He pursed his lips in distaste and said, 'That, sir, is the sickness that brings ruin in its wake! When the common people interfere in government, chaos follows, and weakness. Just look, Your Excellency, at France! Since the day the revolutionary upheaval began there and the common people participated in government, the country has gone to the dogs. Even when God gave them unequalled military geniuses like Napoleon, the British were able to defeat him and crush him because the government of France was at the mercy of the mob. England, on the other hand, was administered by strong politicians.'

'Masters.'

'Politicians, sir.'

'Exactly, masters who are politicians.'

I stood up saying, 'We must discuss these matters some other day, Captain.'

He too stood and said, 'That would give me great pleasure. I shall learn much from Your Excellency.'

He saluted with his usual correctness and when he opened the door to go out, I said to him quietly, 'Listen, Wasfi.'

'Sir?'

'Urabi Basha had more honour than ten khedives put together. And Lieutenant Colonel Mohamed Ebeid had more honour than all the traitor khedives and bashas who sold us to the British.'

He stood at the open door looking at me as though stunned. Then I said quietly, 'Dismiss!'

I sat back down at my desk, a voice inside me mocking me and saying, 'But it's twenty years too late to say that, my dear major! And you should have said it to someone other than Wasfi!'

Why, though, had his words revived that memory? What takes me back, at this moment of hopelessness, to the days of glory? The fact that I was there!

I was there, in the house of Sultan Basha, Speaker of the House of Representatives, along with Captain Saeed and Lieutenant Tal'at, providing security for the meeting. The whole of Egypt was there — the members of parliament, the high officials, the sheikhs of el Azhar, the priests of the Church, the notables from the countryside, even the princes of the khedivial house. I was close and saw the tall handsome peasant officer standing, his face red, its muscles working as he brandished his sword.

The Khedive was far away in Alexandria and had accepted the notice the British had given him to exile Urabi from Egypt and dismiss the revolutionary government. Urabi spoke and said that there was no solution but to remove the Khedive, and those present applauded him. Tal'at took out his revolver, intending to fire it in the air as a salute to Urabi, but Saeed told him off and pulled the hand holding the gun down. When Urabi said, 'Anyone who's with us, rise!' most of the people there stood up, though Sultan Basha and the rural notables remained in their seats. At that moment I caught a whiff of the betrayal that was coming, and Mohamed Ebeid felt it too, and waved his sword and said, in the heat of his fury, 'I will kill him myself, Urabi Basha, and then you can execute me afterwards!' Urabi, also furious, said, 'Make that madman shut up!'

'That madman', my dear Basha, was, however, the only one who died fighting the British, out of all those who were present at the meeting, while Sultan Basha held the invading army's stirrup, and your father was probably there helping him, Wasfi!

And it was the same Mohamed Ebeid, and those who were with him, that I described as 'miscreants'!

So there's no call to pat yourself on the back in front of Wasfi or anyone else. No call for belated bravado.

I sent Sergeant Ibraheem to the house to inform Catherine that I wouldn't be coming home for lunch and until evening fell I stayed at the station for no reason at all, not work or anything else.

When I returned I didn't find Fiona but saw Catherine with her papers and books spread out on the table, reading and writing by the light of two large incandescent lamps. She has done this often recently, protesting that she doesn't have a study. I didn't say anything but felt sure that a new disaster was in the making. After the stoning incident, we'd reached the point of ignoring one another completely — in an almost friendly way. How was it that we'd failed to discover this comfortable arrangement before?

She was wholly engrossed, and responded to my perfunctory greeting with one equally so. I asked her about her sister and she said she was tired tonight and had gone to sleep without having dinner. Then she went back to her papers, closely examining some large pages full of drawings and reliefs and moving from these to write notes on other pages. I watched what she was doing for a moment, then said I was going to go and sleep.

'Without dinner too?'

'I'm not hungry.'

'I'll be there in a little while.'

'Take all the time you need.'

I climbed quickly into bed but once again sleep refused to come. I wasn't thinking about anything but lay with my eyes open, feeling that again sleep would not visit me tonight. Then a soft cough would come from a distance, a sudden flash of lightning would fill the room, and my tense body would relax and a strange peace fill me — an easeful despair and final surrender: there is no escape, so do not even try; accept what happens; accept the blessing of experiencing something you never experienced before. Now you love without desiring even to touch. It's not important that you understand. It's not necessary that you be happy. She has come. You fell in love with her and all you want from her is that she live. That's the beginning and end of it all, so don't try!

After a long while during which I didn't close my eyes and I strained my ears, Catherine came quietly into the room. She changed her clothes without making any noise, then slipped into the bed. I turned over and she said in a whisper, 'Did I wake you?'

'No. I wasn't asleep.'

In a low voice that betrayed an excitement she couldn't suppress, she said, 'Mahmoud, I've found a sign!' and she went on mumbling, as though to herself, 'I've found a sign. I've found a sign.'

I said, 'Marvellous,' then turned over and closed my eyes.

* * *

Another dark dawn and two nights without sleep.

I saw the guards outside the door. They'd wrapped their heads in woollen scarves, lit a fire and were gathered in a circle around it, warming their hands. I stopped for a moment, so they moved away from the fire and stood to attention. I told them they could go now and sleep.

'But the relief watch hasn't come yet…'

'It doesn't matter.'

They saluted and hurried off.

I didn't find Wasfi in the station courtyard, where he usually was. Corporal Salmawi had taken over the morning roll-call for him and he caught up with me as I was preparing to mount the stairs. I asked after the captain and he said that he'd gone out early, before dawn, with some of the soldiers, to meet the caravan coming from Kerdasa, promising to be back quickly, before the start of work, but it seemed that they must have taken the wrong road because soldiers from the caravan had already arrived and handed over to the corporal boxes of ammunition and some letters, which he'd left on my desk.

So there were no new officers, nor any reinforcement troops for Wasfi to train!

Too bad!

Ibraheem met me at the top of the stairs and went ahead of me as fast as his gammy leg permitted. Then he opened the door, entered after me and closed it.

Before I'd seated myself at my desk he was saying, in great agitation, 'What did I tell Your Excellency?'

'What did you tell me, Sergeant Ibraheem? Keep it short because I'm tired this morning.'

'What did I tell you about Sheikh Sabir and Captain Wasfi?'

Without waiting for me to reply, he went on, 'He came to him in the middle of the night, as usual, before the captain went out, and I was able to hear some of what they said.'