I tried to ignore the cramps in my stomach, but they were terrible after a full day of work without food. I wished I had time to eat supper before the party, but Bailey told us we needed a bath more than food.
Summer moaned beside me. “I’m so hungry.”
“Me, too.”
“I heard that if you’re a good server, they give you a plateful of food.” Summer’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
My mouth watered at the mere mention of food. It had taken every bit of my will power not to eat the carrots I peeled at work. But if I had been caught eating even the peelings, I would have been beaten. Vegetable scraps were meant for the compost, which was far more important than a hungry urchin. In the Pit, our food was whatever was left over after the bourge and livestock had eaten their fill.
“Maybe they’ll even give us dessert,” I said. I had never had dessert, but I’d heard it was heavenly.
Summer licked her lips dreamily. “Mmmmm… I can only imagine how it will taste.” She sobered after a moment. “Come on. We better hurry up in case there’s a line at the bath. We don’t have a lot of time.”
I laughed at the thought of a line at the bath. No self-respecting urchin went to the communal baths unless ordered. Next to oxygen, water was the most important resource in the entire Dome, and, like the food, we only got the leftovers. The bulk of the water supply went to the bourge and the agricultural sector. The Pit received the least, and what we did get was rationed for both drinking and bathing. We wouldn’t waste it on bathing at all if the bourge hadn’t made weekly bathing mandatory in order to prevent disease.
The traffic on the stairs was always faster going down than climbing up, so Summer and I made good time getting back to the sixth level. We parted ways to go to our respective homes and collect our towels and soap. My father hadn’t moved much since I left him this morning, but, at my arrival, he turned over to look at me.
“How was work?” he asked, but his expression was vacant.
“Still there.” I sat on the side of his bed and placed my hand on his back. He felt frightfully thin. “I got a job tonight, too, so I won’t be home until later.”
“What kind of job?”
“Just some extra kitchen duties.” He didn’t need to know what I would be doing. I couldn’t bear the thought of adding to his pain.
“Probably to do with that wedding.”
“Probably. Since I have to get back upstairs, I can’t take you to get dinner tonight. You’ll have to go by yourself.”
“That’s okay, dear. I’m not hungry.” He rolled over, turning his back to me.
I sighed. “Dad, promise me you’ll get up and eat.”
“Okay, Sunny. I promise I will.”
I was almost certain he wasn’t going to get out of bed, but there was nothing I could do about it. If only Mom were here. I kissed his cheek and left him to get a bar of soap, a piece of coal, and the one towel assigned to me. I made my way to the bathroom and, as I suspected would be the case, there was no line. Summer was already waiting for me.
“I’ll wet my towel,” I said.
The trick to taking a bath in the Pit was never to set foot in the bathtub. The cold stone tub was fairly large and deep, so if the water was allowed to sit undisturbed, the dirt and sediment fell to the bottom. By bathing in pairs, we could soak one person’s towel to use as a washcloth and then dry off with the other. But a completely soaked towel down here in the Pit took forever to dry.
“No, let me,” Summer said. “It’s my fault we were late this morning. I got us into this mess.”
“You didn’t have to say yes to tonight, Summer. I wish you hadn’t.”
I stripped and let her clean my back. The water was freezing, and I shivered.
“And you didn’t have to wait for me this morning. Best friends do things for each other.”
I snorted. Going with me tonight went well beyond friendship. “You know what you signed up for, right?”
“I know,” she snapped.
Her anger took me aback but made me realize that she was feeling every bit as apprehensive about tonight as I was.
“I know,” she said again, a little more calmly. “But we don’t have to make it all about that. I mean, it’s just sex, right? How bad can it be? We’ve never seen inside the main part of the Dome, and they might share the food. I hope they share the food!” She handed me the soaked towel so I could sponge the rest of my body clean.
Summer could always see the silver lining in every situation, a talent I wished I could learn. But I couldn’t even squelch the anxiety that was growing inside me. I had never had sex. I always thought my first time would be with Reyes after we were married, although I hadn’t spent much time thinking about it. Now I was terrified.
I finished bathing and handed her the wet towel. Picking up the dry one, I wrapped it around me. I used my piece of coal to touch up my hair. “One of the things I love most about you is that you can take a bad situation and see the good in it.” I took the wet towel out of her hand and started washing her back. “But I worry that your love of life is going to get you into trouble.”
“Which brings us back to our conversation this morning. Reyes.”
“No it doesn’t!” Although her back was to me, I drew my brows together and made a face. “I’m not sure how that brings us back to Reyes, but for the record, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why? I need to understand why you keep putting him off.”
“My dad is useless on his own, and I miss my mother horribly.” Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. Crying was such a weak thing to do. “Things are changing so fast, and I don’t want them to. I need to be me for a little longer. You know, before I become Reyes’s wife. Before I become someone’s mother.”
I wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, but it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. When my tears began to spill, there was no way I could stop them. I handed her the towel and busied myself getting dressed. Summer wrapped the towel around her and turned to look at me. Her expression was sad.
“You should never have postponed your marriage in the first place. I really think your mom wanted you out on your own before she went.”
I was pretty sure my mom wanted me married off before she left too, but how could I abandon my own father? Maybe he hadn’t been the best dad in the Pit, but he was my dad.
Summer put her hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it away. I regretted that immediately. She was my best friend. We met on the very first day of school and had been inseparable ever since. No matter what happened in my life, she was my support.
“I don’t mean to upset you, but you need to accept that things will never be the same again,” she said. “Reyes loves you, and that’s the greatest gift any of us can ever hope to get.”
I wanted to tell her that she was right as usual, but I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat. I nodded. I was a fool to keep Reyes waiting and yet powerless to leave my father.
Suddenly Reyes yelled my name from the other side of the locked bathroom door. By the sound of his voice, he knew I was being sent upstairs. I quickly dried my eyes.
Summer dressed hurriedly. “Meet me by the stairs, and don’t be late.” She picked up our towels and opened the door to leave.
Reyes bolted through the door and almost threw Summer out of his way to get to me. “Is it true?!”
“Is what true?” I hoped to downplay the importance of my serving that night. I could see by the wild look in his eyes that he was ready to explode.
“Are you serving at that bachelor party tonight?” He grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Yeah, but it’s no big deal.” I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.
“You can’t. You have to back out.”
Now I did look him in the eyes. “We both know I can’t do that.” I would be beaten, quite possibly to death, if I didn’t report to work for such an important event.