“It has been valuable. I’m sorry.” I finished wiping his back with the wet towel. “Better?”
He nodded. “Thank you.” He turned around to face me. “Tonight was just the first battle. There will be more.”
“Crystal was amazing. Her song really brought everyone together.” Goose bumps rose up on my skin when I thought of her song… and when I thought of the inner strength it must have taken for her to defy West and do what she thought was right.
“Every battle has its heroes, and she was definitely the hero tonight. No matter what happens, always remember she knew exactly what she was doing.”
“What does that mean?”
“Hopefully nothing.”
We locked eyes for a moment while I pondered if I should challenge him to tell me what he was really thinking. But did I want to know? Maybe it was best to wait and see what would happen rather than torture myself with my imagination.
Jack’s eyes wandered down the length of my body, and I became conscious of the fact that we were both standing there in just our underwear.
“I better get dressed. The guards will be here soon for us to scan in. We’re still under a lockdown.” I headed for the bedroom.
“Sunny?” I turned to look at him. “It took a lot of conviction and belief in your own people for you to put on that wedding dress. You knew the risk you were taking when you did it. You and Crystal are more alike than you know.”
I didn’t respond to him, but kept going on into the bedroom. I didn’t believe what Jack was saying. Leisel had intimidated me into doing something stupid. It was nothing like Crystal’s act of heroism.
I dug through the bag of clothes Bron had brought us and found an outfit. It felt good to have the heavy vest off my shoulders, so I decided not to put it on again. It was unlikely a guard would recognize me on a routine scan in.
“Your turn,” I said as I came back in the living room.
Jack was just coming back into the living room pulling a t-shirt over his head when there was a sharp knock at the door. That would be the guard.
“Your hair!” Jack said.
I looked for my hat then remembered it was still on the table in the common room. “I left my hat behind.”
“Use the towel.”
I took the dry towel off the rack and wrapped it around my head. Jack put on his hat, but the ends of his light brown hair were still visible. There was nothing we could do about it now. I opened the door.
“Good evening, sir. Ma’am.” The guard greeted us with a smile. “Could you scan in, please?”
I breathed a sigh of relief that it was an Alliance guard. We waved our hands across the scanner.
“Was anybody seriously hurt tonight?” Jack asked.
“A few people with asthma had a difficult time, but one of our guards had an inhaler so we were able to save them. The ones with chemical burns were taken to the baths.”
As I stood there with the door open, I could hear the faint sounds of distant singing. I cocked my head to one side, trying to hear. “What is that?”
Jack and the guard became quiet, listening too. The singing became louder. Doors opened up and down the hall as people stepped out of their apartments, defying the lockdown order. I stepped out too, looking in wonder at all the people who raised their voices and sang Crystal’s song. I was vaguely aware of Jack coming to stand next to me. He wove his fingers through mine as we stood and listened to a Pit united.
“This is bigger than I ever imagined. We need to come up with a plan.”
He was right. The time had come to make our plan of attack.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Nightmares plagued me every time I closed my eyes. The vision I had seen earlier of people littering the stairs, gasping for breath, turned into a bloodbath in my dreams. Instead of gas raining down on them, I saw bullets. My mind kept replaying the image of Crystal being dragged away by the guards, but instead of shouting, “Rise up,” she shouted, “The Pit they want to blow and soon we’ll all be dead!” Then the guards turned around and gave me an evil smile and their faces turned into Madi. She was dragging Crystal away to beat her to death.
Somewhere through the haze of my dreams, a sensation of warmth and heaviness engulfed me and the nightmares disappeared. Did someone put my vest on me? I felt bulletproof. I turned toward the warmth and tried to get closer to it. It felt hard and muscular. It felt like the only good thing I had left in my life.
I opened my eyes and found myself lying face-to-face with Jack, his arms wrapped around me. His eyes were opened, but I didn’t think he could see me. He was blind when the lights were out.
I raised my hand and stroked his face; he captured my hand and kissed my palm. His touch was so gentle that I wanted to feel it on my lips. I leaned forward and tentatively pressed my mouth against his. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to kiss him, but his lips moved gently against mine. He ran his fingers up my arm and into my hair, leaving a trail of tingling goose bumps in their wake. I wanted to know what his skin felt like, too. Shyly, I moved my hand away from his face, running it down his shoulder and onto his side, coming to stop at his hip. I heard his sharp intake of breath, and an ache started somewhere deep inside me. His kiss became hungrier, searching for something deeper, and I realized where this was going.
Despite my body’s response to his touch, my mind was screaming “no.” We came from two different worlds, and our accidental marriage didn’t change that. I had to remind myself that not long ago I would only ever have shared a bed with Jack Kenner if he had chosen me from a group of urchin girls and ordered me to do it.
“No!” I pulled away with such force that I ended up rolling out of bed.
“Sunny?” Jack raised himself up on an elbow and peered into the dark. I was pretty sure he couldn’t see me.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
He lay back on the bed and dragged both his hands through his hair. “Don’t be sorry. I was out of line. I misread your intentions.” His breathing was ragged.
“I’m going to get some water.” I didn’t want to get into a blame game. I was the one who started it. I pushed myself up off the floor and went in the direction of the living room.
“Sunny?” Jack’s voice stopped me at the door.
“Yes?”
“You don’t still think of us as bourge and urchin, do you?”
“Honestly?” I drew in an unsteady breath. “Sometimes I do.”
“I want you to know that I don’t. I never did.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just left and went into the kitchen. I poured a glass of water and drank it all. I was hoping the coolness of the liquid would help douse the fire that had started inside me, but it gave me little relief.
I sat down on one of the chairs, not wanting to return to the bedroom. I was afraid if I did I would finish what I started with him. He had kissed me back, so I knew he wanted me, too. I tried to imagine a world where our relationship could actually work, but I couldn’t. Jack had been born aristocratic, and I had not.
Why had I never felt this way with Reyes? Kissing him had always been a comfortable and familiar thing to do that never left me wanting more. If only I had felt a fraction for Reyes of what I was feeling for Jack, I would have married him years ago and my life would be simpler right now.
I needed to stop thinking about Jack because the temptation was too strong. Not that I knew what making love to someone was like, but the emotions he stirred inside me made me want to explore that option more. Even the short time I spent in his arms helped me forget all the tragedy going on around me. It had felt good, but I also needed it to feel right.
I deliberately turned my thoughts away from Jack and concentrated on the nightmares instead. When I thought about my vision of Crystal being dragged away by the guards who turned into Madi, I remembered the words she had been singing: “The Pit they want to blow and soon we’ll all be dead!” But it wasn’t just in my dream she had sung those words. They were part of her song. How did that refrain go? Did she say, “I overheard it said?” Is this what she had overheard Holt and West talk about? It didn’t make sense, though. If they blew up the Pit, the Dome would go with it. Why would they plan to kill themselves?