“Very good, Miss Sue Ellen. I will be taking care of this for you. I will be back when the Pitocin is kicking in.”
Okay, another sneaky doctor thinks he can take out Super Foetus. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen.
I’ll wait.
Jesus freakin Christ! What is that? It’s like an earthquake hit. Not a fuckin’ thing to grab hold of. Freakin’ bumping around. Something is twisting me and shaking me, tossing me about like I was stuck in a goddamn blender or something.
“Oh, Jesus, Doctor. It really hurts!”
Yeah, Mommy. Finally, we agree on something.
“Just relax, Miss Sue Ellen. It’s just a contraction. Breathe in and out. Short quick breaths. You’ll be okay.”
“It fucking hurts!”
It fucking hurts!
“My fucking back!”
My fucking head!
“Jesus Christ, Doctor, help me!”
Jesus Christ, Doc. Knock it the fuck off!
“Okay, now, Miss Sue Ellen. I know it is much pain, but if you hang in there, you will be getting through this. Trust me.”
“It hurts! Get me some morphine!”
“Trust me, Sue Ellen. I could give you something for the pain, but that will only prolong the inevitable. You won’t be able to push if you’re doped up.”
Whoa! It’s settling down.
“Okay. Okay.” Mommy is breathing in and out like she’d just run a marathon.
“Good. You’ve made it through the contraction. You’re going to be fine, Sue Ellen.”
Finally. A break. Those things are too much. Oh, man. Here it comes again.
“Oh God! Oh Jesus.”
“This is good, Sue Ellen. Just relax. The contractions are very close together. You are going to deliver soon.”
“GET THIS THING OUT OF ME!”
“I’m working on it, Sue Ellen. Work with me, not against me.”
“AHHHHH! It hurts.”
What is that fuckhead fraud of a doctor trying now? Get those fucking things away from my head, Doc! Don’t make me show you what I did to the last guy who tried that!
“Okay, Sue Ellen. I feel the head. I’ve got it.”
Come here, fuckhead!
“Oh no!” The doctor yells. He thought he had me, but I’ve got him. “It’s so strong!”
“Doctor! Get it out of me!”
“I… I… I can’t. It… it… it, it’s pulling me in.”
Come ‘ere, Doc! ARRRRGH!
“It’s biting my hand! STOP!”
“Get it out of me, doctor! Please!”
“I can’t! Help me! It’s pulling me in.”
“Doctor! It hurts!”
ARRRRGH!
“Oh, my. AHHHH!”
Got you! How many times do I have to tell these fuckin’ people, you do not fuck with Super Foetus!
TEN
Sue Ellen sat in the bathtub, watching and yet trying to ignore the water as it turned from clear to red. Was it her blood? Or Dr. Aburamatoosi’s? Or the blood of the thing growing inside of her? The stubborn thing that absolutely refused to die.
“Why is this happening to me?” she cried to the sky.
It was just that: a thing. It was not a baby. It was not human. It was growing inside of her, but it was not her baby.
“What the fuck are you?” she screamed at her stomach. The thing punched her back in answer. “You hear every word I say, don’t you?” Again, a punch to her gut affirmed it.
The kids were at school. Cleve was at work. She was alone. Alone with It.
Sue Ellen lay all the way back in the tub and drifted back to a night at The Lucky Duck. It was her lucky night all right.
Sure it was.
It was the night It was conceived. One lucky night at The Lucky Duck.
“Make it a double!” she remembered telling Hank, the peach-fuzzed bartender there. He was such a pretty kid. Too pretty to be tending bar in that dump.
Sue Ellen was mad-mad at Cleve for being such a shit. That’s when He walked in. Sure, she’d had one-night stands before, and even been in love before. But this was different.
When He walked into The Lucky Duck, Sue Ellen was entranced.
He was the strangest looking man she’d ever seen. He didn’t exactly look like anything. He had no face. And yet his face was perfect. He seemed to have a strong body beneath the long, dark trench coat, and yet his shoulders had no curves, his legs, his hips, his ass, they weren’t quite there.
He seemed to float towards her. He whispered something in her ear, yet He didn’t speak. He asked her to leave, and she followed.
He took her to a four star hotel, and yet they were in the back of Cleve’s pickup. He was tender, gentle and loving, all while fucking the hell out of her until her insides were raw.
What was He?
Just at the moment of truth, just seconds before the warm fluids filled her insides, He whispered in her ear.
“You will have my baby.”
She laughed, as if higher than a Rasta man after huffn’ down a Philly blunt. “I don’t think so, buddy.”
But He seemed cocksure.
“You will have my baby.”
“Honey, my tubes have been tied. My eggs are dried and there ain’t shit comin’ out of this hole, ‘cept for pee. Okay?”
“You will have my baby.”
She laughed. Then pushed him away.
“Jesus fuck!” Sue Ellen screamed, jumping up from the tub. “What the fuck was he?”
Another punch to the gut coming from inside herself.
“Stop it! Leave me alone.”
No, Mommy! You leave me alone!
Sue Ellen looked at her belly. Was she hearing things? Had she finally lost her mind?
“You are not human.”
I think Mommy wants me out of here. She just keeps trying to hurt me. I am not leaving. Imagine what that bitch’ll do if I come out.
Not a chance. I ain’t leaving.
Sue Ellen stood up in the tub and ran for the door. She ignored the pool of dripping water and blood that followed her, not bothering to get a towel. She was on her way to get something more important than a towel.
What’d you say, Mommy?
“If those fucking doctors can’t take care of this, I’ll take care of this myself!”
Holy fuck! Ouch! That fucking hurts, Mommy. Stop!
Sue Ellen rammed the unravelled coat hanger right up her sore twat. It hurt. But she didn’t care anymore. She had to end this. The thing inside her needed to die, and it needed to die now. She could feel the vile thing trembling inside of her.
Ow, oh, ee, ah! Fuck, stop. Stop. Stop that. Damn it, Mommy, that hurts. Stop poking at me. You’re poking holes in my tummy. Enough. Stop it.
That crazy bitch just won’t stop hackin’ at me and hackin’ at me, puncturing hole after hole in my soft pink skin. I can’t hold her off.
The pain was excruciating! But it didn’t matter. Sue Ellen kept ramming the coat hanger in, then yanking it out, then ramming it back up again.