Noah had been wrong. He wasn’t going to get his heart stomped on.
It’d already happened.
Somehow, he’d come to care about her more than his carefully constructed world, more than his planes, more than his next breath. “I didn’t mean what I said to Noah about the whole not being able to get hurt thing.”
“No? Well, I always mean what I say, and I told you from the very beginning this wasn’t real.”
“Okay, I have no idea how we got so off track here, but you have to promise me that you won’t do anything foolish without me.”
She sipped her tea and said nothing.
“Maddie.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Why? What kind of question is that?”
“A valid one. Why does all of this matter to you so damn much?”
He stared at her, let out a low laugh, and shoved his fingers in his hair. “Because.”
“Because? Your answer is because?”
“Because…” Ah hell. He had nothing left to lose. “Because I love you, damn it.”
Her eyes went wide as saucers, and she took a step back, nearly falling on her ass in her haste to put distance between herself and the crazy naked guy. She smacked up against the wall and held on to it like a lifeline. “What?”
“Yeah, and I can see that just makes your day.”
“Are you kidding? I just told you that this wasn’t real, and your response is I…I…I-”
“You can’t even say the word?” he asked incredulously, clutching his clothes to his suddenly aching gut.
“What is more unbelievable is that you can.” She set down her tea, picked up his pants and threw them at him. “Don’t look at me like I’m an alien, all right? It’s nothing personal. I just don’t put much into that word, that’s all.” She found his shirt and threw that at him, too, which he caught after it hit him in the face.
“What does that even mean, you don’t put much into the word. It’s a pretty damn big word.”
She tossed him his shoes. “Forget it.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t forget it.”
“Okay, fine.” She straightened her spine. “It means I don’t love you back.” Then she softened, her eyes misting. “I’m sorry.”
But not sorry enough, apparently, because she didn’t take any of it back. “Wow,” he said, staggered. Destroyed by words. He’d never have believed it possible.
“Not personal,” she repeated more softly, turning to the door. “I’m assuming you no longer want to come with me.”
“Oh, I’m going.”
Slowly, she craned her neck his way. “Huh?”
He smiled grimly at her shock. Had no one ever stuck with her through thick and thin? Through pissiness and foolishness? “Hell, yeah. I’m going.”
She closed her eyes and then opened them and nodded her head.
He nodded his back and then watched her walk out of the room. Standing there holding his clothes, he shook his head. He had no idea what he’d expected to happen here, but it hadn’t been to blurt out his feelings, and it sure as hell hadn’t been that she’d throw those words back at him the same as she’d done with his clothes. He hated that she’d so easily dismissed the words and the emotion behind them simply out of fear because for him, they were as real as the air in his lungs.
Unfortunately, he was breathing that air all on his own.
Chapter 27
Leena was tired of pacing her bedroom. Tired of Ben watching her pace. And she was especially tired of being afraid. She let out a frustrated, shaky breath and took another lap around the room. “Tired of it,” she muttered.
“Tired of what?”
“Following the advice of a crazy guy. For letting him ruin my life. For getting us in this situation. Pick one.”
“I’ll take all three for a hundred, Bob.”
Yeah, she’d really screwed up. “Mostly, I’m tired of letting my life live me.”
“There are always choices,” Ben said, still watching her pace.
“Yes.” She wanted to tear out her own hair for being so damn slow to understand that very fact. “And it’s my own fault that I never made my own, but that’s going to change.” She pivoted, nearly plowing into him because he’d stepped into her path.
“How’s it going to change?”
She stared up into his face, his beautiful, strong face. “I’m working on that.”
“I guess it won’t be easy. Leaving this lifestyle.”
“Look, you don’t need to beat me up, okay? I’m doing it enough for the two of us.”
His eyes never left hers. “Are you?”
“Yeah.” She tried to move around him, but again he blocked her path, this time putting his hands on her arms to hold her in place.
“I’m not staying for the cushy lifestyle,” she said. “I know you probably don’t believe me. You have no reason to, and I deserve that. I deserve a lot of things, but like you said, it’s about choices. My choices, so get out of my way and let me think about the ones I need to make.”
She expected him to scoff or show more anger.
But he surprised her. Gentling his hold, he leaned in and kissed her. In that single moment, he awoke every single nerve ending she owned, but the all too brief glide of his lips to hers ended far too soon, and with a slow blink, she stared up at him, stunned to the core. “What was that?”
“A reminder that it’s all wide open for the taking.”
“What is?”
“Your life. It starts now, so go for it. Take it wherever you want. You just need to decide where that is.”
And suddenly she knew. “I want to take it to a place where I have more seconds in which to live it,” she whispered.
Her reward was a heart-stopping smile. “Sounds like a great plan to me.”
Maddie stepped onto the tarmac and faced Brody, who’d readied a plane for her. He stood there in the setting sun, the evening breeze brushing over him, looking bigger than life, utterly competent, and very on top of his world.
That’s all she wanted, damn it-to be on top of her world. “Brody-”
“We’re not going to go over this again, are we?” Without waiting for an answer, he took her hand and walked with her toward the Lear, but before she could board, he pulled her around to face him. “A couple of things first.” He spoke quietly, firmly, badass to the bone. “We are a unit, you and me.”
When she opened her mouth, he put his fingers to her lips. “I get that scares the living shit out of you. You’re going to have to get over it. I love you, Maddie. You’ll have to get over that, too.”
Well, if that didn’t root her to the spot. Heart pounding, she lifted her hand to his wrist to tug his hand from her mouth but he shook his head. “I love you, damn it, and one of these days, maybe you’ll let your guard down enough to believe it. But for now, let’s get this over with.” With that, he lowered his hand, waiting for her answer.
She found her throat almost too tight for words. He loved her. Oh, God, he loved her. Her heart felt so much she didn’t know if she could take it.
“Okay?” he repeated with far less patience.
“I…need a moment.”
“No.” He turned to the plane, his shoulders seeming tense. “If I give you a minute, you’ll be long gone. You can take your moment later, when it’s over. Then, I promise, you can argue with me all you want.”
“You don’t mean that.” She had to clear her throat, still bowled over by those three little words he tended to throw around. “You hate to argue.”
“With you? I live for it. Now let’s do this.”
By the time, Brody stepped off the charter boat onto Stone Cay and turned to offer a hand to Maddie, dawn was streaking across the Bahama sky. The only sound was the water slapping loudly against the sides of the boat in the dewy morning air.
They hadn’t spoken much more than a few words to each other on the flight to Florida then on to Nassau and now here. Actually, Maddie hadn’t spoken to him.
He’d pretty much opened up his chest, exposed his heart, and let her run it over with a steamroller a few times, and she’d gone mute.